#MY FIRST TIME EVER HITTING ANY MASTER BALL TIER

[resldue]

I JUST HIT MASTERBALL TIER IN SCARLET INGAME LADDER FOR THE FIRST TIME

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 204

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 Go Go! 06 - “King Donuts Awakens!” Date watched: 8 January 2021 Original air date: 9 March 2008 Screenshots Transformation Gallery Project info and master list of posts

mood

The character re-introduction arc reaches its epic conclusion and shows us where Rin has wound up after her moment of self-realization in the Y5 finale. It turns out, she wound up constantly tired. Relatable. Let’s dig in!

The Plot

Nozomi and Rin are on their way to Natts House to prepare for the grand re-opening. Rin is visibly very tired and confesses that she was up late the previous night.

images with sleepy auras

As they arrive at the store, they run into Syrup.... or more accurately, he runs into them, carrying an urgent letter from Milk. (Remember this, because Syrup sure doesn’t) However, just then, a brilliant light erupts from inside of Natts House, so they all rush in to see what’s happening. They find everyone gathered around a table with the Rose Pact in the middle, glowing, and then it opens up and King Donuts emerges, fully awake. Then he yells at everyone to stop staring at him.

blinded by the light...... how does that song go again?

After the opening, the gang tries to introduce themselves to King Donuts, but he assumes it’s another Eternal trap until Coco and Nuts reveal themselves. Instead of being relieved, however, he just pivots his anger onto them for being incompetent and letting him get attacked by Eternal. So yeah, not off to a great start here. While they watch the goings-on, Rin yawns, and this further annoys the already irate king. Growing frustrated, he tries to leave, but finds that there’s a barrier around the Rose Pact that’s trapping him until he fully recovers. As you may imagine, this does wonders for his good mood.

I’m not yawning because I’m bored, I’m yawning because I’m bored AND tired.

Cut to Eternal’s headquarters and a very fatigued Scorp drops a huge report on Anacondy’s desk, mentioning he hasn’t slept for six days while writing it. However, she dings him on numerous minor errors, deeming it unusable, and tells him to combine it with the previous report and redo it. Exhausted and holding a stack of paper half his height, Scorp collapses and the pages fly everywhere. I have to say, Koyasu acting tired is a fun change of pace for him.

these are the eyes of a man who has lost all hope

Back at Natts House, everyone is still trying to appease King Donuts. He insists he’s fine already but in attempting to demonstrate this, he wears himself out quickly. Karen offers him the apple she snapped a few episodes ago, but he refuses to eat it because he doesn’t trust them. The girls give up on him for now, because they need to get to work opening up the store, but they notice Rin has fallen asleep.

Nozomi advises them to just leave her be, trying to get Syrup to help them pass out fliers instead. He refuses and wants to know why they don’t wake Rin. Nozomi explains that Rin was busy all day with sports clubs, tending to the family shop, and watching her siblings, so she stayed up all night designing accessories because it was the only free time she had. (I am very familiar with this concept.) She also admits that Rin didn’t tell her this, she deduced it because she knows Rin and how she works.

With that settled, the remaining girls, as well as Coco and Nuts, get to work handing out fliers. Syrup, however, stays behind to look over Rin, because he refused to help any other way. He muses over his situation.

At that moment, Rin wakes up, and Syrup asks if she really was up all night designing jewelry. She realizes her old friend Nozomi has read her like a book. She admits to feeling guilty that she not only stayed up late working, but she couldn’t come up with any ideas, and now she’s missed out on handing out fliers as well. She feels useless (big oof) and contrasts herself with Syrup, who she says is working hard to get to the Cure Rose Garden. Syrup disagrees and insists she works way harder than him. At this point, King Donuts, who has been listening in, interjects and commends Rin for being critical and analytical of herself, saying it’s the key to self growth. I feel like there’s a missing line in here about not slipping too far into self-doubt, but regardless, Rin remembers she’s supposed to be at futsal practice and runs off before the end of the King’s speech.

“Gah!” - Natsuki Rin, 2008

After she’s gone, the king and Syrup discuss how hardworking she is, along with the other girls. Also there’s a gag where King Donuts didn’t recognize Syrup until he turned back into his fairy form which further establishes that Syrup has a bit of a negative reputation far and wide.

Meanwhile, at the practice field, Rin isn’t doing a whole lot better at futsal than she was at jewelry design. As a result of staying up late, she’s still tired, so she’s missing passes or overshooting goals. She even accidentally kicks the ball over the fence and into the woods, so she goes to retrieve it while yawning some more.

It’s here that she is confronted by an equally sleepy Scorp, who asks her to hand over the Rose Pact so he won’t have to write up his report, and he can sleep. It’s kind of pathetic, kind of comical.

Scorp turns the futsal ball into a hoshiina, so Rin transforms as well. Syrup swoops in to save her from Scorp but drops the Rose Pact, so King Donuts tries to talk down the villain. However, Scorp is undeterred and even sees more value in having one of the monarchs inside the Rose Pact. The other girls show up and transform, temporarily distracting Scorp (as well as the king, who is surprised that they’re the legendary warriors) but he then continues his advance until Rouge punches him away. Then she hears Lemonade screaming as the Hoshiina tries to fling her off, so Rouge rushes in to kick it and rescue her friend. Scorp once again tries to capture the Rose Pact, so Rouge separates from the team again to protect the fairies, but Scorp captures her instead and taunts her about trying too hard to do too much by herself and says she’ll only ever be halfway finished. This hits Rin at her core and she is unable to resist an attack from the Hoshiina, but at the last moment her teammates jump in front of her to defend her. They remind her that she’s not alone, they’re there to help her, and then Dream gives an inspiring speech about how Rin always challenges her situation and works harder than others, so they’ll always support her. Scorp is unimpressed, but Dream rushes him with a Shooting Star. Feeling newly motivated, Rin also performs her new finisher on the Hoshiina: Fire Strike! She summons a fireball at her feet and then kicks it into the monster, which of course dissolves back into a normal futsal ball. Scorp flees, muttering about how he’ll have to include this in his report as well.

As the dust settles, King Donuts admires the Precures, and then has a seemingly random realization about the Rose Pact and the Red and Blue roses, or rather, the lack of blue rose. In case you had forgotten that plot point.

the answer will surprise you

Back at Natts House, King Donuts opens up a bit more to the girls and they chat back. However, he quickly reiterates that he doesn’t acknowledge Coco and Nuts as rulers yet. When they ask Syrup to help them with the shop, he reminds them that he’s only here to deliver a letter from Milk, and he finally hands it over to Coco. (took him long enough) It turns out the letter says there’s an emergency in Palmier Kingdom and everyone needs to come there quickly! They want to go but aren’t certain how.... until they remember Syrup has the convenient ability to travel between worlds. He initially refuses, but King Donuts cleverly appeals to both his pride and his kind-heartedness, causing him to think about the conviction all the girls have shown in their solo outings thus far, and he agrees to take them. So just as quickly as it opened, Natts House is closed again and the gang boards Syrup to fly to the Palmier Kingdom. As they rise into the air, they soar forwards into a watercolor warphole, surrounded by floating  lights. They fade to white and the credits start.

The Analysis

Something I truly appreciate about this episode is that it picks up from the first series finale, and shows that Rin hasn’t magically become a top tier accessory designer, she still has moments of artist’s block, and she really struggles with just finding time to create, which impacts her social responsibilities. (sounds familiar) Rin’s struggle is a recurring theme, and I'm always glad that unlike certain later shows, they don’t glamorize her sacrificing sleep, they just portray it as something people sometimes do even if it’s not in their best interests. Contrast with that episode of Go Princess, you know the one. It’s a straightforward cause and effect: Rin stays up late designing, so she’s tired the next day, and that influences her interactions.

It has some positive responses, such as getting King Donuts to recognize how hardworking she is and swaying his opinion on the girls; and some negative impacts, like kicking the futsal ball too hard and over the fence. With all that said, I must once again remind you all not to sacrifice your well-being for your goals, even if I’m bad at following my own advice.

King Donuts (or Doughnuts if you prefer) is an interesting character. At first he’s paranoid that he’s in another Nightmare trap, but as he grows to accept his circumstances he warms up a bit, especially when he hears about how hard Rin is working. He remains critical of Coco and Nuts, understandably so, since their negligence led to him being attacked previously. However, he doesn’t dislike them, he is sharp-tongued because he wants to make them better kings. Physically he resembles a diminutive dragon. It’s not the most apparent visual but when all four Rulers are together the pattern begins to become obvious. More on that ~eventually~.

although they’re all in the OP so, ya know, clues

A secondary theme throughout this arc has been to show Syrup starting to acclimate to the girls and begin appreciating their hard work and way of doing things. He’s still stubborn and wants to do his own thing, but it takes less arm twisting to get him to go along with the girls’ requests. Usually. As he admits to King Donuts, he respects their work ethic and their devotion to the causes they love. He entered the picture as a loner delivery boy who just wanted to do his job, but getting roped in with the Precures’ misadventures has opened his eyes somewhat. He’s going to be fun to watch as the show continues. However, he has a reputation, as we’ve seen. We don’t know exactly what the details are but several characters seem to have a low opinion of him, and we’ll find out more about that in coming episodes.

The fight in this episode is interesting in how..... not interesting it is. It kind of fools you into thinking more is happening than actually is. There’s a lot of talking and not as much action as you would expect. The Cures and Scorp or the Hoshiina will exchange a few blows and get thrown around, then one of them starts lecturing the other side about their beliefs. Sure, all Precure shows have elements of this, I can remember a few other fights that were more talk than combat, but it seems particularly egregious this episode. I do like how Scorp’s mocking has an effect on Rouge though. She’s already feeling really unaccomplished and then he goes and tells her she’s useless without her friends. It starts to weigh on her heart, but her friends quickly step in and say hey, we love Rin, she has us to support her, it’s okay if she can’t do it all by herself. As a result of this quick pep talk, she unleashes Fire Strike, her new finisher, and boy does THAT shine. It’s the first soccer-themed Precure attack in the series, and more will follow in subsequent years.

Compared to some of the other finishers, Fire Strike is more straightforward. Rouge creates a ball of fire and kicks it directly into the Hoshiina. It’s less over the top than her teammates attacks (flying into the enemy, twin whips, flying discs, or an arrow made of water) but the animators manage to punch it up a bit with some suitably dramatic effects that sell how fast, hard, and powerful this kick is. Also I have to say, the shot of Rouge bringing her leg all the way back to ready the kick is really cool.

Her leg is cocked and extends past her head. If you’ve ever tried this you know it’s hard, so even if you can make a drawing do anything, it still looks impressive, and the next shot where she’s kicked it is gorgeous. The flame walls, the way she’s lifted slightly off the ground, the way the ball is warped, all convey a sense of power and motion. Yeah, she’s just kicking it straight ahead, but you get the sense she could kick it through a brick wall.

I do have to say, on the negative side, the framing device of the episode feels a little forced. If this letter from Milk was so important, Syrup probably should have pushed it on the girls a little sooner. Maybe just dropped it off with Nozomi when he first met her in the morning. They still could have seen King Donuts awakening but they would have made moves to go straight to the Palmier Kingdom instead of doing all that work advertising and opening the shop only to have to close it again right away, and skipping Rin’s moral quandary. Since those are at the root of the episode, it might be hard to cut them, so alternatively, to keep them, the episode could have been written such that Syrup could have received the letter at the end, so he wasn’t holding onto such an important and urgent letter all episode long. It’s the little things. And on that topic, I find the third act (fourth act?) after the fight to be a little too goofy. Syrup finally hands over the letter, then they all hem and haw about how they’re going to get to Palmier Kingdom and they beg and plead Syrup to do it until he finally agrees. The only truly funny part to me is Nuts lamenting that he has to close Natts House after he just opened it.

Also there’s this ending sequence.

This is the single worst thing I have ever made in the name of this project.

It’s overall a well-thought out episode and it smartly moves between story elements, smoothly concluding the character reintroductions and setting up the Blue Rose arc that follows. I appreciate how seemingly unconnected events flow into each other and they lead to the King seeing that the girls are legitimately good people. It’s probably the most cohesive episode of this arc, although I still think the character reintroductions peaked with Urara’s. The others have been good in different ways, but there’s a deeper bit of heartfelt emotion that episodes 2, 3, 5, and 6 just haven’t been able to match.

Next time, Milk’s emergency turns out to be largely imagined, and we meet a new villain. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 kettei!

[bainhardt]

#RibbonQuest2.0 - Part 3: Master Ball Rank or Bust

It’s kind of poetic, in a way. My very first meeting with Jin, and the beginning of our travels together, was commemorated with the chucking of a Master Ball - a guaranteed capture. It’s a one-of-a-kind ball typically reserved only for one-of-a-kind Pokemon (like Jin). When it comes to capturing Pokemon, the Master Ball stands above the rest as the symbol of infallibility, the promise of success overcoming any and all odds.

Well, we’re gonna need to channel that spirit in our latest challenge, because our success is anything but guaranteed: we have to take on the Master Ball rank in online rated battles for Pokemon Sword and Shield! Among our countless trials and triumphs spanning generations, Jin and I have never actually battled online against other real players. The World Ability Ribbon back in Platinum would’ve been our first foray, but the DS Wi-Fi connection had long been shut down in the time before our quest began.

Keeping with the theme of RibbonQuest2.0, this comes as an unexpected surprise. Jin, like all transfer Pokemon, is ineligible for rated battles; the standardized rules only permit Pokemon born and raised in the gen 8 games. Back when our time in Galar first started, I had never even planned on mentioning the Master Rank Ribbon, simply because we weren’t allowed to try and earn it!

But all of that changed with the release of the Isle of Armor DLC and patch version 1.2. By accepting the reset of your Pokemon’s move pool to only moves compliant with its gen 8 iteration, you’re allowed to mark your transfer Pokemon eligible for rated battles online! The icing on the cake is that Jin’s XD-exclusive purification move, Baton Pass (which I bent over backwards to keep even through all the Pokemon Contests), is now a TR which Farfetch’d can learn anytime. All’s well that ends well, I suppose.

It’s like getting your hand stamped at a concert, but with a side of forced amnesia.

With that, preparations were complete. There was nothing left to do but hop to it and get battling! The Master Ball Rank doesn’t earn itself, and if I’ve learned anything from our past, I think that means we’re going to need some help...

However, in the interest of cutting down on superfluous Ribbon Gang members like (sorry to single you out) Speedrun the Talonflame, I’ll only be honoring the final 5 actual contenders accompanying Jin when the ribbon is earned. Numerous grueling battles will be fought on the path to Master Ball tier and those stories will be lost to time, for only the best of the best deserve to call themselves part of Ribbon Gang 2.0.

I got boxfuls of second-stringers here, for real.

When first beginning in earnest with the July season, I mainly played Double battles, my preferred format for fun. I had a couple different teams, but never climbed any higher than Great Ball. Some teams of note included:

self-proc Weakness Policy Stamina Mudsdale with Skill Link support and Psych Up Stored Power follow up

Entrainment Plus Dedenne alongside special attackers with spread moves (coined the “fuck redirects” team)

a strange combo Sandstorm and Round team that was kind of an excuse to see if Refrigerate Aurorus could amount to anything

I was too committed to gimmicks, and at this time still hoped to reach the necessary heights using something built for fun at its core. I convinced myself that whenever I got around to really trying, it’d come together easily enough. In the past I’d do anything and everything to increase my chances of success, and I needed to return to this mentality moving forward.

After burn out from facing VGC competitive teams, several months of distraction with other games, and the arrival of 2021, I changed gears to test out Singles beginning in March. Despite having essentially zero experience with the format, I drafted two main teams during my Singles stint:

a Focus Energy Baton Pass team designed so every other Pokemon is then guaranteed crits with every attack

a Shedinja team with Pokemon like Ditto and Zoroark designed to help determine whether Shedinja can survive the opponents

Still sounds gimmicky, I know. I can’t help it. But a funny thing happened as I continued to chip away at this challenge: the Focus Pass crit team actually kind of... worked. Once you’re critting every attack, you start to notice just how many game mechanics critical hits outright invalidate. Intimidate? Your negative offensive stages are ignored. Bulk stacking opponents? Their positive defensive stages are ignored. Grimmsnarl and Lapras walling you out? Screens don’t apply against crits (although a Shell Armor Lapras did shut me down quite handily once). Honestly, the boosted damage almost feels like an afterthought.

Every team I played required considerable reworking as I’d progress, honing in on specific threats often encountered and dropping low-participation Pokemon who weren’t pulling their weight. There was even a rule set which allowed the use of extremely powerful Legendary Pokemon for a time (a very bad time). But all digression aside, allow me to introduce the team that would eventually carry me higher than ever, swiftly through Ultra Ball tier and directly into Master Ball. They are the new and final members of Ribbon Gang 2.0.

The ones on the left, I mean. This box is just more second-stringers.

First is Gepigop the Togekiss, sporting Super Luck as a core member of the original crit team. Spamming STAB Life Orb boosted Max Airstream is the Singles meta, after all. And he’s from my Y version, same as Speedrun!

Second is PkmnConquest the Kartana, probably the most consistent and useful member I picked up along the way. Give it a Scope Lens and it’ll BEAST BOOST its way to easy sweeps - just pray your opponent isn’t hiding any Fire types in the back...

It goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes Guillotine... the Weavile at number three. YUH. She was included as a direct response to the unending hordes of Cinderace and Zapdos I faced. Focus Sash and Counter helped her turn around so many unfavorable matchups, I can’t recommend it enough!

Bringing up fourth is 8008 8008 the Rhyperior. Need an idea of how broken Dynamax Zapdos’ bulk is? Rhyperior is the only Pokemon I found who can one shot it from full HP without needing to Dynamax in return... and even then, only using Rock Wrecker. Seriously.

In our final slot is AZKi the Espeon, because Hololive kept me company through many of my battle sessions, lol. After one too many Focus Passes were blocked by Taunt, I put an end to it with Magic Bounce. You remember that scene in The Incredibles where Syndrome’s robots were revised as they faced off against more and more heroes? She’s basically that.

By the time I was barely breaking into Ultra Ball tier, I found much greater success if I didn’t try to force the crit gimmick every time, but still had it if I wanted it on AZKi, the fourth in the succession of Focus Passers. Yes, after months spent honing my skills in battle, I finally learned that just bringing three Pokemon that can beat your opponent’s is the simplest way to a win. Incredible, I know. And win we did!

The final needed victory in Master Ball tier was secured by PkmnConquest, Guillotine, and 8008 8008, a trio I found myself locking in very frequently.

It’s... it’s beautiful.

With this Master Ball ribbon attached to my Master Ball Farfetch’d, we’ve finally brought our lengthy Galarian story to its conclusion. Having managed to snag this online-exclusive ribbon before these games lost popularity or network support, Jin is once again a tried and true Ribbon Master, and I’ve no unfinished business to worry about any longer.

Until it is time to take up your sword once more,

Rest easy, Jin.

POKEMON SWSH: COMPLETE!

[metalandmagi]

Summer 2020 Anime Worth Watching!

Apparently it’s time for the summer anime season, even though it feels like time is meaningless at this point. But somehow, there are still new shows coming out, so if you’re looking for something to watch when you’re stuck at home, here’s a list of the first impressions I got from this season. I don’t really know if it’s going to be worth it, considering how the spring season delayed so much, but here we are. 

As always, not all of these are available on Crunchyroll, but I’ll put a * next to the ones that are.

And if you’re looking for a bit more variety, I have lists for 2019 and the rest of this year’s seasons too...because remember when there was good anime being released instead of just everything being an ecchi or a second season?

2019 master list

My master list for every season of 2020 anime

New Shows!

*The God of High School: An over the top action anime consisting of one big tournament arc! It follows a group of teenagers competing in the epic “god of high school” martial arts tournament to determine the best fighter in the country. Following in the footsteps of Tower of God, this is the newest “crunchyroll original” that is being adapted from a South Korean webcomic. You can tell from the first episode that this will be a spectacle with crazy characters and lots of wild action and humor!

Great Pretender: When a Japanese con man pickpockets the wrong person, he ends up hopping on a plane to Los Angeles and getting wrapped up in a scheme with a sassy Frenchman named Laurent...who basically runs the mafia. There’s humor, there’s plot, there’s great characters, and it’s kinda gay. It’s an exciting original anime from studio Wit, so the animation is bursting with character, and both the music and the general vibe remind me a lot of Baccano or even Lupin III. And since it takes place in America with several foreign characters, there's hilarious English and accent shenanigans abound! The bad news is it’s still in Netflix jail, so if you want to watch it legally you’re kinda stuck for now. 

Japan Sinks 2020: A giant earthquake hits Japan, and a family must cope with the mayhem together. Because what the hell else could possibly go wrong this year? This is a new series (based on a novel) made by Masaaki Yuasa, the guy behind Ride Your Wave and Walk On Girl, if that tells you anything about the style of this anime. I’ve only watched the first two episodes so far, but I heard it goes from being a gripping realistic disaster series to a balls to the wall adventure. To be honest, disaster shows/movies freak me out, and this one is pretty devastating so far, which is a testament to how well it's made. But I appreciate that they include glimmers of hope when they’re needed. The best moments are the quiet ones that focus on the actual people and the narration that juxtaposes the time periods. There’s so much atmosphere, and the music really enhances the experience. And it’s all out on Netflix now, with a dub and a sub!

Deca-Dence: When humanity has been pushed to the edge of extinction by monsters called the Gadoll, the rest of civilization is forced to live in enormous mobile fortresses and send groups out to battle the unknown monsters. So basically like Mortal Engines but the fortresses can turn themselves into giant fists and punch the monsters. We follow a girl named Natsume who wants to be one of the soldiers who fight the Gadoll, but she is constantly rejected because of her prosthetic arm. So she ends up with five years of cleaning duty supervised by a stern but mysterious badass named Kaburagi. I honestly don’t care at all about the plot of the anime, because for me the characters are what drives everything, and these character dynamics are great. I’m not going to say it’s the most original story, but I think it’s fun so far. 

*Rent-a-Girlfriend: A typical harem/romance anime that follows the world’s most annoying protagonist named Kazuya. After Kazuya is dumped by his first girlfriend, he seeks out a rental girlfriend out of self pity….BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT’S A REAL SERVICE THAT EXISTS IN JAPAN?! Like you can actually rent moms/dads/girlfriends/boyfriends and so on. Anyway, his fake girlfriend is the picture of anime waifu perfection...until Kazuya starts being his typical asshole self and she reveals her true nature of being an absolute sass master who don’t take no shit from no boring ass main character. Shenanigans happen and the two of them end up having to pretend they are in a real relationship. And I’m just calling it now...Kazuya’s grandma is the real best girl of the series. If you want a harem that’s actually funny and doesn’t mind roasting the protagonist, give this one a shot. Although I wish this were just a straight up romance instead of a harem because there is no way in hell that any girl, let alone more than one would want actually to date this guy. 

Next Seasons and Continuations!

*Fruits Basket 2019 (Season 2): Thank goodness Fruits Basket wasn’t delayed or cancelled last season because sometimes I feel like it was the only thing getting me through the spring. I’ve ranted about how good it is enough by now. If it can’t brighten your year, then nothing will. Just watch it if you haven’t already. 

*Re:ZERO-Starting Life in Another World (Season 2): Subaru is still trapped in another world, and he’s still as angsty as ever, but that’s not going to stop him from constantly putting himself through hell when he keeps dying horribly every time he needs to reset the timeline! There are mysterious new villains, nobody knows who Rem is (again) and I think there’s a plot somewhere under all the suffer porn. Seriously though, this show is pretty cool (even if I was two years late to the party). It’s one of the most interesting isekai anime I’ve ever seen, and it feels like it’s acting as a deconstruction of the genre, kinda like how Madoka Magica is for magical girl anime...both shows certainly have enough crying. The story is weird but interesting, the world building is cool, the villains (and sometimes the heroes) are batshit crazy to watch, and I like its moments of humor. 

No Guns Life (season 2): The story of Juzo, the hard boiled detective who plays by his own rules continues in the second season of No Guns Life. In case you missed the first season, this is a mystery/action anime that feels like an old noir film had a cyberpunk baby. There’s underground conspiracies, there’s interesting side characters, and...oh yeah the main character has a gun for a head. That’s right. we came to see a bara detective with a literal gun for a face, but we stayed for the world building and mysterious plots!

*Fire Force (Season 2): I’m going to be honest here, I really didn’t know if I should include this one or not. I have a major love hate relationship with Fire Force, but I figured there may be other people out there who would like it more than I do. So in case you missed the first season, this show follows a group of firefighters who puts out fires caused by spontaneous combustion using a mixture of guns and super powers. It was created by Atsushi Ōkubo, aka the guy who made Soul Eater. So it’s bound to be amazing right?

Not necessarily. Strap in for this one lads. 

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed with this show overall. Its main characters just aren’t that interesting most of the time, it can’t decide on what kind of show it wants to be, and so much of it just dragged for a good part of the series. I don’t know if it was a problem of pacing or if the plot was just that uninteresting for a while. The first couple episodes set up a very unique plot, filled with intriguing moral dilemmas. And then it proceeded to abandon everything interesting in favor of badly timed fan-service. It just couldn’t strike the balance that Soul Eater had between its humor and its sincerity. If they wanted to make an ecchi show, they should have just made one instead of inserting the same overplayed scenarios into every episode. I don’t care if a show has fan-service as long as it fits the tone, or if it only has certain episodes dedicated to playing up the humor. But Fire Force has a habit of just inserting it wherever it wants regardless of what’s actually happening in the episode. Also, some of the humor revolves around one of the main female characters who has a really messed up self image because she’s slightly more muscular, and not a tiny delicate flower like some of the other girls. Not going to pretend that doesn’t bug me. 

But that doesn’t mean there is nothing good about it! If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t have finished the first season, and I wouldn’t be including this one. So far, the second season has actually been funny because it made the first episode more like filler, instead of cramming in too much plot all at once. And to the surprise of no one, the animation is absolutely god tier. I wish it was being used for something other than clumsy fan-service, but it’s still really something to see. The world building is super creative and 100% my aesthetic, and there were a couple side characters I really loved later in the series (Benimaru). And I did like the twists and turns the series took later in the season when it actually focused on the conspiracy behind the fire force and the cult. When it follows the mysteries it sets up, it’s more fun to watch. Who would have thought? 

TLDR: There’s good stuff and there’s bad stuff. This show is really something you have to watch for yourself to decide if it’s going to be worth it. I’m going to at least try the second season, because I want to see where this goes, but it’s on thin ice. 

Honorable Mentions

Isekai edition! Both of these came out last season, but I hadn’t mentioned them when I made my spring list. But they’re both getting dubs now so I’m still counting them.

*My Next Life as a Villainess- All Routes Lead to Doom!: A twist on the isekai genre where our main protagonist wakes up as a character in her favorite otome game...only to find that she’s actually the bitchy rival side character who ends up either dead or exiled in every route of the game. So naturally she does everything she can to prevent this by becoming a sweet and caring supporting character...who inadvertently makes every single other character in the game fall in love with her. I ignored this show for the first few episodes because I need another isekai in the world like I need a hole in the head, but after hearing everyone rave about it, I caught up with it in no time. It’s a fun take on the otome game tropes, and it manages to be funny and sweet while not committing to any particular pairing.

*Ascendance of a Bookworm (Season 2): That’s right, it’s another isekai where an adult is reincarnated into the body of a child in a fantasy world. But this time, it’s a nerdy girl whose entire purpose in life revolves around reading books (can relate). However, when our main character Mine is thrust into this fantasy world, she quickly realizes that this particular fantasy setting is a little too...medieval  for her tastes...meaning a family of commoners like hers would have no clue how to read and books are only meant for rich people or the church. So of course Mine has to figure out how to either get her hands on some books or make them herself. This is a super cute show that I waited a long time to finally watch, and since the second season is finally being dubbed I wanted to shout it out. It’s just a wholesome isekai version of Dr. Stone. There’s no real action, but it’s a relaxing watch if nothing else. 

Well, there you have it. Hopefully nothing else gets delayed or cancelled because it’s pretty slim pickings as it is. And before anyone asks, I didn’t include GIBIATE because I thought it was a massive disappointment that somehow made a time travel horror anime plot boring. There’s also My Teen Romantic Comedy Snafu, but it’s been 5 years since I watched the other seasons and don’t remember anything about it. But there’s that too in case anyone is a fan of the series and didn’t know it got another season. 

See you next season…if the world is still here by then?

[thecandywrites]

As Long As You Want To Be

Look, my grandfather (in law, he was my husband’s grandfather but might as well have been mine because that’s how close we were) passed away yesterday. He had dementia and alzheimers and we saw this coming (he has been on his deathbed for a week but the son of a gun was stubborn, god I adored him and am going to miss him) and this is how I have dealt with this on top of everything else hectically happening in my life and this is simply my outlet. But with modern orcs because no one can stop me at this point. Is there homework and big projects due that I should be working on instead? HELL YES. But am I avoiding them because they’re making me face reality? YOU BET. So let me have my emotional support fantasy, if you have happened to read part 1 and part 2 of this story then it’ll be nice to see these guys again and see how things have progressed. 

As Long As You Want To Be

You were in your room in front of your mirrored closet doors, getting ready for today, it was your birthday and it was the big 18- legally an adult and you couldn’t be more relieved it was finally here because you had big plans that the only thing that had been holding you back was your age and you felt a sense of renewal today, like today was a turning point and you had been trying to get your ducks in a row behind the scenes so that when the time came, you could hit the ground running. And today was also your graduation party, all rolled into one huge blow out of a party. 

You curled your long golden brown that ombre-ed into a warm golden blonde hair as you had gotten it colored yesterday, a gift from your aunt Sally at your favorite salon. You had just gotten back from spending an hour at Sephora getting your makeup done, a birthday gift from your sister Grace as she gave your littlest sisters just a light dusting of a shimmering nude eyeshadow so that they felt extra pretty for today too. 

Your mom and your “aunties” got things ready in the kitchen because while you came from a big family, your family “adopted” many others so that you had an even bigger extended family. And they all came out today to show their support and your gift tables were already showing signs of overflowing since half the party came early to help set up for the party and your one gift table soon had to be two and was threatening to turn into three because your parents invited everyone you knew and everyone they knew and everyone came and invited their friends. And while you lived in a sizable suburban house that your parents had had custom built several years ago, it felt overstuffed at the moment and there were still more coming. But with it being a potluck, there was an overabundance of food on the many tables in the huge tents in the backyard. 

You had three younger sisters and one younger brother, who was in the middle of all the girls. You were Brianna Richelle, then there was Blossom Grace who simply went by Grace who was turning 16 next month, then your brother Gavin George- who was 13, Adeline Olivia who was 11 and then the baby, Arianna Lillian who was 8 as Ady and Ari had a few of their friends over as did Grace while you had had all of yours come and spend the night with you the night before while Gavin also got to have some of his friends over, so it was already a very full house. 

And you had especially invited Kihro’s younger sister over to hang out too. Since Kihro’s younger sister Shesly who was only 15 and shy but she was a sweetheart and even if Kihro and you would break up tomorrow, you and Shesly would stay friends and to see her with your friends who were helping her put on makeup and curl her hair and dress up and be one of the girls warmed your heart and your other orc girl friends from the other school districts also were here among your halfling friends and elven friends too and it made you so happy that they weren’t all grouped off, instead everyone was peacefully chatty and mixed. 

Gavin was of course in his room playing video games with his friends, also brothers of your friends while your dad and your uncle were inside cutting up whole beef loins to make steaks and your mom was having your cake delivered as your friends hung out and gossiped in your room and you didn’t bother paying attention when you heard grunting outside your bedroom window as Kihro and his friends carried a big package around the house, under your window and you didn’t hear Kihro direct them and you definitely didn’t hear how he then came inside just as your dad left the house out the back door before Kihro asked where your dad was before he went through the house, said hi to your mom and gave her a quick hug before he went into the back yard where he found your dad firing up the grill and pulled your dad aside and talk with him privately away from everyone else as Kihro’s friends made themselves useful to help carry out the heavier dishes from the kitchen before they helped themselves to the snacks that were being set out before your cake arrived. 

Your parents had gone all out for this party. Mostly because they almost lost you last year to your illness because you had spent your 17th birthday in the hospital barely hanging on by a thread and your parents felt they owed you a proper blow out this year and when you had mentioned a few things you had wanted- neither of them would tell you no. Your invitations for this party had been on par with many of the nicer wedding invitations and the DJ had set up in the garage and hung up a disco ball, laser lights and black lights and smoke machines and all kinds of stuff. 

Your parents even had ordered a tiered cake and hundreds of cupcakes from your favorite bakery- Boonzaaijer’s- in your favorite flavors that had been custom created for you in addition to a baker’s dozen cheesecakes from the Cheesecake Factory and a chocolate fountain with the works. The cake itself was gorgeous. The top tier was a lemon creme cake with limoncello and sugared lemon zest in the cake batter, with ripe strawberries soaked in super sweet pink moscato in the middle layer between the two cakes with a strawberry puree and the frosting was a twist on strawberry lemonade and the cupcakes in this flavor had the moscato soaked strawberries in the puree in the middle and chocolate dipped strawberries gracing the top of the frosting on top. The second tier was white chocolate cake with luscious whole raspberries in a raspberry puree in the middle layer made with raspberry peach Grand Marinier and the frosting was a ruby chocolate frosting and the cupcakes for this flavor had chocolate cups stuffed full and piled high with perfectly ripe raspberries drizzled in a glaze made out of simple syrup and that raspberry peach Grand Marinier. The third layer was a twist on pineapple upside down cake, it was still a pineapple upside down cake but with peaches and soaked in a trio of rums and peach schnapps and the cupcakes for these were little cupcake versions of a pineapple upside down cake with peaches cooked in the rums in the middle. The fourth tier was a “mudslide” chocolate cake that not only had Kahlua and Godiva and Baileys in the cake but also in the frosting. It was hands down the most decadent cake you had ever witnessed in your life and Kihro and yourself were pretty sure your wedding cake was going to be exactly like this. (If he ever proposed that is, but first he needed to get a damn place of his own because your father forbade any engagement if he didn’t have a home to bring you to that was not his parents house or your parents house, much like his rule that you couldn’t go out on any dates in a car that wasn’t mechanically sound and completely paid for which wasn’t a problem because Kihro’s truck had been bought used and he had paid cash for it so it was a “hoop” that Kihro easily jumped through and one that all your dad’s siblings and friends thought was genius to implement much to the chargrin of your cousins and friends.)

Your father had also had the same BBQ joint that he used to cater the employee picnics bring in a few roasted pigs and tons of ribs and brisket too while one of your uncles- Gary- fried up a ton of chicken wings while your other uncle- Larry- who was a butcher- had gotten several whole beef loins at his cost and “gifted” those to the party and your dad and your uncle were grilling those themselves as your uncle Larry manned the grill but kept an ear open to try to overhear what Kihro was talking to your dad about in the backyard away from everyone but judging from your dad’s posture and his beaming proud smile as he looked at things on Kihro’s phone and listened attentively as Kihro was talking and gesturing with his hands, it was obviously going well and when the two hugged each other, he knew something was going on but kept that to himself as your other uncles and aunts and cousins came over as the men started to congregate around the grill and BBQ pits before a few curious ones decided to see what your dad and Kihro were talking about but Kihro quickly put his phone away as the others came over as your dad simply dismissed it as it was a “work thing”. 

Just then the kegs got delivered. While you weren’t wild about beer, you asked for Kihro’s favorites so that he and the other adults would enjoy them as your father and all your uncles, both by blood and by “adoption” cracked into them, grunting growls- Home Improvement style echoing between all of them as they gleefully drank it down as the pit master let them have little bites of the roasting hogs and some ribs as they got the wings from the deep fryer as beers were drawn for everyone, even the DJ made an appearance to grab a beer and some wings and a few ribs as the Pit master and his crew gratefully took a few steins of beers themselves from the portable BBQ pits parked infront of the garage. 

“So how are things between you and Brie?” Your uncle Gary asked as Kihro took a wing from the pile. 

“Great.” Kihro answered as he slathered on Gary’s homemade hot sauce onto the wing as Gary looked from Kihro to your father as your father gave him a smile and a nod and that seemed to be enough for Gary. 

“Have you found a place of your own yet?” Your uncle Larry chimed in from his spot by the grill nearby as he gave Kihro a speculative glance before he gave your dad a curious look. 

“Possibly, just have to run the potential places by Brie to see what she thinks.” Kihro answered as he barely managed to keep the truth to himself by putting the wing in his mouth. 

“Great answer.” Your father praised as he pat Kihro on the back as the rest of your uncles looked at each other curiously knowing that you were one of his favorite daughters and your father was never more protective of any of his kids than he was of you so for your dad to be so pleasant, let alone approving of your boyfriend, was a good sign that Kihro was a good and trustworthy guy. 

“Well if you know of any good places, feel free to share with Max, I need to get him out of the damn house.” Your other uncle Robert instigated as Max just frowned at his dad as Kihro fought not to snort a laugh because the hot sauce up the nose was a bad idea. 

“Same could be said about you Casey.” Carl added as Casey rolled his eyes as he sucked down chicken wings himself. 

Truth be told, your father and all your uncles and your father’s friends were so proud to see Kihro try so hard and jump through so many hoops to court you properly and it gave them inspiration to push their own sons to match the same bar Kihro was making as well as urge their own daughter’s to expect more from their own significant others. 

Then Kidron and Rhiox showed up with the rest of their kids along with the rest of your father’s OG’s, having dropped off their own gifts on the tables as Kidron made a B-Line for your dad and the hot wings as Kihro’s friends finally rallied around Kihro and the wings in the backyard before your friend Tysh noticed her own crush among Kihro’s friends from her spot overseeing the backyard. 

“Oh, Kihro and his friends are here.” She announced before you nearly yanked your hair out trying to get the damn curling iron out of your hair before Melody made you sit back down so she could finish the back of your head. 

“Oh you can wait five more minutes, I have three curls left.” She reminded you. 

“What do you think Kihro got you?” Tysh asked. 

“An apartment for himself would be ideal. Because the only two things keeping me from actually being engaged to him were I was 1. Underage, which starting today- I no longer am and 2. Him having a home to bring me to if we did get engaged and then married.” You answered. 

“He’s had six months, why hasn’t he gotten one yet?” Sasha asked. 

“He can’t find a place he likes. He nitpicks every place. ‘Not a safe area’, ‘it’s too small’, ‘it’s too expensive’, ‘no garage to park the work truck’, ‘the apartment has issues’. You name it. There was even one apartment, it was a freaking duplex and it was perfect but no- he had a really bad feeling about the guy we would be renting from. Which actually worked out because two months later- the house itself sold and the current tenants were kicked out into the street without warning and their deposit was never returned to them. So there’s that.” You explained with a heavy sigh. 

“Borug just got a condo.” Korryn bragged from her spot on the other side of the room, taking snaps on her phone to send them to her current squeeze- Borug which you were sure once his money ran out, she’d be dropping him like a hot rock. Korryn was Grace’s friend and she was a year older than Grace but a year younger than you and Korryn wanted to be close to the center of attention wherever she went and for Grace’s sake, you put up with her at your party. Because honestly- you couldn’t stand her. But you supposed you could be gracious on your birthday. 

“I thought Borug didn’t have any money left after getting his car.” You questioned innocently, knowing Borug had to beg for a downpayment on his favorite car and a raise from his dad so he could afford the payments because he didn’t have the money saved because he had blown it in Vegas the month before clubbing with Korryn who had invited herself to some tech expo his dad’s company was attending and if you were a betting woman, Borug also got his parents to buy him a condo too because the shame of having a peer, that peer being Kihro, be farther in life than him- was too much for Borug to bear. 

Borug was very competitive and had a huge chip on his shoulder and was incredibly entitiled and an ego that you were positive your house was too small to contain it. But he hadn’t always been like that, as a kid he was awkward just like you. And in the classes that you didn’t share with Kihro, you had shared with Borug. He was also quite popular in school, part of the preppy jock group because he played sports too. But he was always nice and friendly to you at least. 

Borug was the eldest son of a man who owned one of the biggest tech companies in the Great Lakes and was always at the home shows for their tech and home security systems and his dad was part of the Business Owners Association, which your dad was also a part of and you had grown up seeing him a lot at the home shows and Association meetings that you had made snacks for that he helped you with when you were younger but once he was ‘old enough’ to be in the meetings himself with his dad, that stopped. 

Almost immediately after Kihro asked you out, Borug asked Korryn out, Korryn had a huge bosom, like each boob was the size of a basketball kind of big bosomed and she had a belly which for orcs, they usually loved fuller figured women so that wasn’t surprising but she had no ass and a richer yet smaller family who lived on Laken Lake which was a lake known for its lavish lake houses, speed boats and water sports while your family lived off of one of the Trinity Lakes that all connected together to form a three lobed lake, which were better for fishing and your family were avid fishers, a pastime you and Kihro enjoyed a lot together. Especially when he would help clean the catch and had a way of frying the fish that was amazing. 

However, something that you didn’t know was once Kihro had asked you out, he literally passed Borug who was also on his way to ask you out, he had even strutted accross the lunchroom but neither you or Kihro had noticed. When Borug had been passed by Kihro and saw Kihro sit at your table, he sat down at the next table over and eavesdropped and once Kihro asked you out to the dance and you accepted and especially once you kissed Kihro, he knew he didn’t stand a chance right then and so he had asked Korryn out to the dance after school since she had a different lunch time. 

It was only supposed to be until Kihro crashed and burned and Borug was supposed to come in and scoop you up and save the day and she was, according to a mutual friend, was just a right now girl. But Korryn hadn’t been happy with that and had insisted that they be an item since Borug’s plan was to treat Korryn the way he wanted to treat you, which ended up being an invitation to a super fancy restaurant that he was sure Kihro would have a hard time paying for and of course lavish Korryn with a gown and the “star treatment” which she had no problems taking absolute advantage of. But the problem was- was you had gotten another flair and hadn’t gone to the fall formal because you were in the hospital so you didn’t witness any of that except through Korryn’s social network feed on Grace’s phone because you weren’t friends with her on any social media which you could care less about. 

And of course by winter formal Korryn’s claws and hooks were fully embedded into Borug as she pushed them to be this picture perfect couple and Borug could only wait until Kihro would fail to jump through a hoop but every one Kihro jumped through with ease and to see you and Kihro be together so naturally and effortlessly and especially so happily, made his gut sour because while him and Korryn looked great on camera, the moments between the camera flashes were awful. Between her difficult and demanding personality, emotional immaturity, nonexistent life skills and zero work ethic coupled with piss poor money management along with her inability to compromise because she had been catered to by her parents and her other friends her whole life- the relationship was incredibly strained. He was stuck with a girl who pushed him to spend all his money on a “lifestyle” and expensive lavish gifts on her and it was something he couldn’t hope to support long term. And the barely mediocre sex he got from her wasn’t worth it but with her being the popular girl, no other girl would go near him for fear of Korryn’s retaliation socially. He literally got a big pair of tits. That was the only positive in that relationship for him. And Korryn was constantly spewing his personal business and every argument he ever got into with her, she told EVERYONE so that she could get “everyone” on her side. 

Meanwhile you had taken her behavior as notes about how not to act as Kihro was eternally grateful for it and every time Borug would complain to their mutual friends, Kihro would simply sit back and smirk that at least his girl didn’t do that shit and if anything, it gave Kihro the assurance that he had made the right decision by asking you out and doing everything in his power to keep you happy and content, if not sated the best ways he could, basically through his mouth and his hands because regular sex wasn’t allowed. Yet anyway. 

While you were open to a degree to your parents about the relationship because you had witnessed how your friends had kept some dangerous secrets from their parents and how that had not ended well at all, so much so that you kept your parents in the loop and were honest with them, so much so that they trusted you more and gave you freedoms that your friends couldn’t even dream of, freedoms that you wisely did not abuse. 

At the same time, you were also very discrete to everyone else- so that on the rare occasion where you two argued, he made sure to never escalate anything so that the two of you could talk it out and come to either an agreement or a compromise and no one ever heard anything about it, to the point that no one knew you had the disagreement in the first place except or your parents when you had simply mentioned it after the fact which impressed your parents and his. You urged him to stick to his budget and not splurge on anything but that if he needed to buy anything, to invest in quality and only buy something once and were just in general, a sweet, supportive girlfriend while he did his best to be as helpful, supportive, gentle and affectionate as he could be. You two got along like you had been together for years and asking you to a dance and dating you had been the best decision of Kihro’s life as well as yours. He had already spent his fair share of sleepless nights in the ER with you because it was important to him and to your parents to really see you at your worst physically and you wanted him to go into a relationship with you with his own eyes wide open.  

By now though, he had gotten you over a dozen beads that you were sure would pull your hair out if you tried wearing them all at the same time but instead you got them on a necklace that you never took off and that you guarded with your life, except for the gold promise ring/ engagement bead, that never left your hair. 

Once your hair was done you practically bolted out of your room to go downstairs to see Kihro, leaving your friends laughing as they followed you downstairs as they watched you having to hug your way through everyone who wanted to wish you a happy birthday and congratulations before you finally managed to get outside before you were swarmed by all your uncles and cousins before you finally got to your dad then Kihro before you glued yourself to his side. 

“So? How’s the beer?” You asked Kihro giddily. Hoping that he got to get his favorite at least. 

“Delicious.” Kihro praised as he offered you the cup to sip it, which you did, a tiny one. It was dark and intense but for the beer connoisseurs, very good because it was a Dragon’s Milk in a seasonal marshmallow and dark chocolate flavor. 

“It’s definitely beer.” You giggled as you handed it back and shuddered before you comically looked down your shirt. 

“Ok, so it isn’t replacing my boobs with chest hair immediately, that’s good.” You teased which got everyone to bust out laughing as Kihro nearly spit out his beer laughing himself. 

“Would you still love me with chest hair Babe?” You teased Kihro who comically grimaced. 

“Sure.” Kihro sarcastically agreed as he pretended to dodge the question and drink more beer which made you laugh as you noticed Tysh give her crush Akhi a beer and judging by the hopeful smile she gave him, she was trying to catch his eye, and judging by the way he bashfully took it from her, he liked her too but you knew Akhi was more shy than Kihro ever was and Tysh was one of your prettier friends before you noticed Korryn zero in on Borug and practically plastered herself on him and kissed him, which was a sloppy open mouthed kiss and you noticed how Borug actually sagged his shoulders in defeat and winced at being yanked down to her level as she pulled his hands to hold her before you looked back at Kihro and lowkey pretended to gag as Kihro watched Borug with amused pity before he turned to you and nearly spit out his beer again snickering a laugh at your reaction like it was the greatest inside joke as he rubbed soothing circles into your back and was grateful your arm was looped around his lower back before he sweetly kissed the crown of your head which made your dad grin at your discrete PDA as Borug’s dad gave Korryn the side eye because he didn’t approve of Korryn at all. He knew a gold digger when he saw one and felt his son could do so much better and was almost to the point of bribing his son to dump her for good because the two fought almost all the time. 

“So how’s massage school?” Borug’s dad Draig asked you. 

“Going great. Getting A’s.” You beamed. 

“Getting proposed to every time she’s in the clinic.” Your dad revealed. 

“Oh really?” Draig blinked but grinned. 

“They’re not serious proposals, they’re all joking.” You clarified.

“But you have to be pretty good if they’re offering, all joking aside.” Draig countered. 

 “Ok so I’m known as Big Touch. Because I have little hands but a big touch because I’m heavy handed and they expect the other orc girls who are strong enough to deliver that kind of touch but so far they’re softer handed than I am. So when the clients ask for deep tissue and firm pressure, they expect one of the other girls to come out to meet them and when they see me they always laugh, not believing I’m Big Touch. But about five minutes into the session they find out real quick I’m the real deal, and about 10 minutes in they drop the “tough guy act” and ask me to ease up and by the end of the session they’re believers and try to get rebooked with me. And as it stands I’m booked out until August and I should have all my clinic hours in by then.” You explained. 

“And he’s cool with you working on other guys?” Draig questioned you with a look at Kihro who simply grinned proudly. 

“Yeah, of course, because she’s a professional and if they can’t respect her and the profession they have no business being her clients and she doesn’t need their business if they step out of line and she has no qualms about dismissing anyone. She already has five job offers and her clientele list that is following her from the clinic to wherever she decides to go is already several pages long. She doesn’t need my ego or my possessive jealousy holding her back from making bank because she can stand to make just as much as I do if not more which I don’t have any problem with at all. It would be like her being so jealous she won’t let me do my job when there’s only a married housewife at home without her husband right?” Kirho defended as your love for him was oozing out of every pore on your body as you beamed a bright happy and appreciative smile at Kihro while your dad, all your ungles and Kidron beamed happily themselves while Draig couldn’t argue with that while Borug outright pouted. Because while he wasn’t wild about Korryn, he totally was jealous of every guy who commented on her instagram pictures complimenting her massive cleavage but wanted to get into fights with everyone who called her “butterface” which you thought was hilarious. 

“So Korryn told me that you got a new condo is that right Borug?” You asked Borug, shifting the attention over to him as you looked from him to Draig who’s shoulders dropped. 

“Yup, it’s at The Glen. Just signed the papers yesterday.” Borug boasted. The Glen was a brand new condo complex that was about 20 minutes away and many of the young people who’s parent’s lived on Laken Lake were snatching up condos there like crazy. 

“So that means we need to go furniture shopping Baby.” Korryn cooed excitedly and you had never seen Borug force a smile so hard before. You actually felt sorry for him. But it wasn’t your business or a problem you should ever try to fix. You could only stand back and watch to see what happened and hoped that they both wouldn’t fight during your party. 

“And how much did that cost you?” Your dad murmured to Draig. 

“Too much.” Draig muttered back. 

“What about you Kihro? Haven’t you been apartment shopping for like half a year?” Borug jabbed. 

“I have, haven’t found the right place yet.” Kihro just shook his head no with a smug smirk because he overheard your dad from his spot. 

“Cause you’re too picky?” Korryn snidely instigated with a smile that you wanted to slap off her face. 

“Well being ���picky” can be a good thing. Brie needs special accommodations because with her business, some of her clients are going to be using walkers and wheelchairs and they can’t do stairs and even if she works for another outfit, I’m sure she’ll still do her own thing on the side and I have to be mindful of that. Plus I need a place close to the hospital because of her health and I need a place to accommodate her pets and mine.” Kihro just started to list off as your mom came out to let everyone know that things were ready for the party to go into full swing. 

“Aww, well that’s because you’re so sweet and thoughtful Kihro.” Your mother praised which got a grateful smile from Kihro and you. 

“Party’s ready when you are Brie.” Your mother informed you. 

“Sweet, how are the hogs Mr. Terry?” You asked the pit master from his spot in front of the portable pits. 

“Been ready Sweetie.” He called back. 

“Well then lets do this.” You instigated before the party got into full swing and you pigged out on all the food and got to dance, Kihro never leaving your side for a moment before you were urged to open your gifts and of course you not only had your little sisters to help while Grace was your recorder and even had Kihro’s little siblings help you which Kihro loved and adored that you made an effort to include them and were sweet and nice to them. 

You got all kinds of massage tools and your aunts Sally and Marry, (married to Larry and Gary respectively) hand made you flaxseed pillows to use in your practice and had gone to the fabric store to pick out all this pure cotton fabric in all these patterns they knew you would like and together they got their sewing machines out and had sewn you over a dozen of them in all these different sizes and a few different styles and you nearly cried because you knew this was a labor of love. 

Your parents of course had gotten you your ideal massage table and a new car, which meant your current one got to be a hand me down to Grace as an early sweet 16 which she was thrilled with while Draig and his family had gotten you the best massage table on the market along with a damn tool box with all kinds of massage tools, the table itself was fully electric and had all kinds of extra bells and whistles and it made your jaw drop, it had taken Borug, Draig, Kihro and all of Kihro’s friends to carry it since it was very heavy. You got all kinds of gifts from everyone while your sisters and Kihro’s younger siblings had all gotten orders from Kihro and your parents to make sure you opened Kihro’s gifts last and when it came to the last few gifts, the first gift from Kihro was a small box and in the box was a coconut half. 

“What is that? Half a coconut bra?” Korryn sneered. 

“You would need four of those.” Borug laughed as he made to grab her boob but she shifted away so he couldn’t. “Tease.” Borug teased with his nose in her ear, making her shudder and turn back to him. 

But instead you looked at it and immediately knew what it was. 

“Oh no way, you didn’t.” You started laughing at Kihro who was sitting down front and center as you looked it over. 

“What is it?” Your mom asked. 

“It’s a coconut hide for a reptile mom.” You informed her. 

“Ew!” Korryn complained before you handed a second box. And once you took the paper off, it was a reptile shipping box which made you squeal in excitement before you got your pocket knife out and opened it as your brother Gavin was instantly much more interested as he scooted his chair really close to you. 

“Oh you got Gavin’s attention really fast.” Your dad laughed as you had Gavin sit right next to you. 

“What do you think it is?” You asked Gavin.  

“It better be either a snake or a gecko.” Gavin insisted because he thought reptiles were awesome and already had a bearded dragon himself and it was something he and Kihro’s younger brother Mohre bonded over. 

“Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods.” You started to chatter excitedly as you opened the box and found a few bags before you opened up the first bag and peeked inside. 

“It’s a snake!” Gavin cheered before you let him peek into the bag too. 

“What kind is it?” Gavin wondered before you pulled it out before you looked in the box to see the different snake cards. 

“That, is an ivory leopard?” You guessed at Kihro who nodded to confirm. 

“Sweet.” Gavin beamed.

“Aren’t you just gorgeous!” You cooed to the snake. 

“What else did he get you?” He asked as he eagerly. “I’ll hold that, you need two hands to open the others.” He insisted as he held out his hands to take it from you before you handed it over before you looked in the other bags. 

“Oooh, this must be the pastel super coral glow, hello sweetie.” You cooed as you got the snake out of the bag before you passed it over to Gavin who held the other snake in his hand before you got to the last one. 

“And this is a crystal ball!” You cheered when you got them out. 

“Thank you Babe, I love them. Now I just gotta get some tubs or something.” You realized before looking back over at the giant box left by the gift table before you looked at the smug grin on Kihro’s face. 

“You got me a rack system didn’t you.” You playfully accused Kihro before you wrapped the crystal ball around your neck to hang out as you opened up the box and found it was indeed a rack system. 

“Thank you so much Baby.” You cooed to him as you came over and kissed him, the crystal ball sticking it’s head out to sniff Kihro. 

“You’re welcome.” Kihro cooed back. 

“What are you gonna name them?” Your sister Ari asked as she got the super coral glow from Gavin. 

“I don’t know, I’ll take suggestions.” You answered before your sisters went to the office and got a pad of paper and decided to take a poll to what to call the snakes into a basket. 

“How about we go set this up so these precious babies can rest.” You urged Kihro before he and his friends got up and picked up the box and the other gifts and carried them up the stairs while everyone went back to party and you simply sat on the bed with your brother and your little sister, each of you holding a snake as you watched proudly as Kihro and his friends got to work setting up the rack system and getting everything ready and to you in that moment, Kihro couldn’t get any sexier. 

You knew he wasn’t perfect but the gods be damned you couldn’t see any flaws at this moment. Here he was sitting down on the floor, reading the manual and putting it together accordingly and a screw driver in his hand and he might as well have been naked with a dozen roses posing on a bed because you could feel the wetness squish between your legs. You wanted to fuck his brains out is what you wanted to do. But you had to admit that what you wanted more than snakes for your birthday was his own independence but it had not been the time or the place earlier to ask him about it. You waited patiently as Kihro put it together and all his friends made sure each tub was ready to go before you put the snakes away in their new homes. 

“Guys, could you give us a moment please?” You requested to his friends once they were done before everyone else left as the snakes settled into their new homes.  

“What’s wrong?” Kihro asked as he read your face and body language. 

“I don’t want to be ungrateful or anything. But I would have been happier if you had used all the money that you spent on all this getting an apartment.” You answered before you peeked up at him and saw him beam another proud smile at you. 

“Brie, why do you think I got a rack system capable of housing 12 to 40 snakes when you only have three and I only have three?” He questioned. 

“Because ball pythons can become an addictive hobby?” You guessed. 

“That’s true but, because I knew that if I got you this, it would give me a moment to privately give you these.” He said as he reached into his pocket and gave you two business cards. 

One was a bank manager’s business card with an appointment time written on it for Monday and the second was a realtor’s business card. 

“What?” You breathed as you looked at the two as you realized what the implications of these were. “Wait, are you getting preapproved for a home loan?” You asked as your heart started to race. 

“We are.” Kihro corrected. 

“We?” You repeated as a bright smile soon bloomed on your face before you squealed and leaped into his arms and was happy when he caught you and held you up so you could kiss him. 

“Why didn’t you give me these as my present?!” You asked. 

“I didn’t want to embarrass you, just in case, I know we both like to keep our private affairs private.” Kihro answered. 

“Well with the present company, that would probably be wise.” You laughed with a pointed look at Korryn’s things she had left in your room. “That was very kind and thoughtful of you. Thank you.” You thanked him. 

“And I don’t think the bank will approve it if you don’t have this.” He said as he carried you over to your chair and sat down with you still in his arms before he dug into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring, a mermaid sapphire one and you were instantly crying tears of happiness as he put it on before he produced another gold bead for your hair, a larger one but the same style as the first as you sat there and happily waited for him to add it to the other in your hair. 

“How do I look?” You asked when he was finished as wiped at the streaking mascara under your eyes but your smile shamed the sun. 

“Beautiful.” He whispered before he framed your face and kissed you earnestly and you melted in his lap and returned the impassioned kiss. 

“Pack a bag, I’m taking you on a trip this weekend, after the party.” He urged. 

“What?” You laughed in surprise. 

“Before we actually tie the knot and get married, I want to make sure I can fit in my bride.” Kihro explained as he palmed your belly but reached under you to sensually rub at your center. 

“Uh, I don’t know if..” You began to counter as your cheeks flushed even though in that moment you didn’t want anything more. 

“Your dad already gave me the go ahead, no more chaperones, no more hoops, we can just be together and the only clause was that I didn’t knock you up, so as long as we can be safe about it, we don’t have to hold back anymore.” Kihro explained as you were ready start immediately. But instead you kissed him before you practically leaped off of him to grab a bag and started stuffing enough clothes to get you through the weekend and an outfit for the appointment on Monday, you wanted to look as professional and mature as possible. 

“Ok, let’s send everyone home, I’m ready to go.” You insisted which made him laugh. 

“Easy horndog. The night is still young, we have plenty of time, we’re not going that far.” He assured you.

“But I am going to put this in the truck.” He explained as he took his bag and you left your room with your hand still intertwined with his before your mother was already at the base of the stairs which prompted Kihro to leave your bag at the top of the stairs because he could sense you were about to be swarmed. 

“And?” She asked excitedly since your dad had clued her in before Kihro brought your intertwined hands up to show off the engagement ring before she squealed and as soon as the people around saw the ring, word spread like wildfire though the party and Korryn turned a few shades greener as she looked at your engagement ring before she looked expectantly at Borug as if he had been secretly keeping one for her in his pocket and you were too happy to recieve congratulations from everyone else to notice how Draig gave Borug a warning glare with a pointed look in Korryn’s direction but Kihro caught it as did everyone else apparently as your dad nearly died laughing but happily hugged you tight. 

“You sure it’s ok?” You whispered in his ear.

“Yup, as long as this is what you want, I’ll support you no matter what.” Your dad reassured you before he kissed your cheek affectionately. 

“Thank you, I love you so much Dad.” You told him before you let go and received all the other congratulations from everyone else and if you had thought the party was in full swing before, now it really was. You danced until you felt your feet were going to fall off, you ate until you were stuffed and drank until you were just a little tipsy but so happy and at peace. 

And once most of the party guests finally left, you left too with Kihro. Granted his truck wasn’t nearly as nice as Borug’s sports car. It was still all Kihro’s and you didn’t worry about a thing as you sat next to him and held his hand when he wasn’t shifting gears. You didn’t care where you were going, he could drive on for forever. He drove until he came to a beach house in South Haven which was only half an hour away. 

“What is this place?” You asked curiously as you got out of the truck and looked up at it. 

“An airbnb.” He beamed as he got your bags and his and entered the code on the door to be let in. He had actually spent his morning getting this place ready because he was hopeful that your dad would say yes and he had packed the fridge with enough food to get you through the weekend and your parents had packed you enough leftovers to also get you through too. 

“Home away from home for the weekend.” He said as he managed to pick you up and carry you over the threshold which cracked you up. 

“How in the world were you able to afford all of this?” You wondered as he put you down and the bags down on the other side.  

“Well actually Borug and I had the same amount in savings when we both asked out our girls and so far in the six months he’s dated Korryn, she’s bled him dry while my savings has done nothing but go up even though I’ve been beading you well and the snake thing was something I was going to do either way and since you love it as much as I do- I might as well make it a couple thing, something we can do and enjoy together. Plus even when your health is bad and you can’t physically manage to give massages, this can be a backup for us.” He explained. 

“And even if we don’t make any money with the snakes. They’re still pets to add to our menagerie because honestly, finding an apartment that checks all the boxes we need it to is slim. But a house- we’ll get much farther with a house and the market is pretty big and open right now.” He explained. “Besides if I had gotten an apartment right when we got together, I would be six months of rent poorer and while the house we could get won’t be as nice as a condo…” Kihro began. 

“Oh my gods, I can not begin to tell you how much I don’t want a condo just on the off chance that Borug and Korryn would feel entitled to come over since they’re “neighbors”. No, hell no.” You interrupted him which got him to bust out laughing. 

“Ok, we’re in agreement on that.” He beamed. 

“Let’s get something we can both manage but we can make it our own. It doesn’t have to be brand new, we don’t even have to get something custom, not now, not ever because we had enough headaches with our current house as it is. It would be nice to get something just semi nice- functional, something that we don’t have to bulldoze and start from scratch, but not a money pit either. But something with space, obviously a garage for the work truck and a yard big enough for Kelly that is either fenced in or we can fence it in and we can make it ours over time, it doesn’t have to be picture perfect for me to move in, I can work with anything. And if we’re doing this together, let’s do this together all the way, I absolutely insist on adding my savings to yours for this and all the money I just got from graduation which I know you took all of yours and added it to your savings. I just had the birthday party to end all birthday parties and a graduation party to end all others and we don’t need a wedding to end all weddings ok? No need to go into unnecessary debt, let’s just get preapproved for a home loan and small equity loan for some modest home improvements that we can do ourselves over time so we can turn whatever house we choose into our home.” You urged him and noticed he nodded along with everything you said so you could tell you were both on the same page. 

“So suburbs.” Kihro gathered. 

“Yeah basically.” You nodded. 

“Awesome, I’m happy we’re in agreement about this because everything you just said is what I was thinking and planning anyway. So, want to get naked?” He asked which made you laugh. 

“Hell yeah! I’d thought you would never ask Baby.” You giggled before he picked you back up and put you over his shoulder and grabbed your bags and started going up the stairs as you cackled from your place over his shoulder. 

“Woo! Conquer me Baby!” You cheered which made him laugh before he playfully bit your ass with a flirtatious growl which made you squeal even more before he got to the bedroom and let you drop onto the bed before you bounced, laughing so hard your ribs hurt. 

But your laughing died down to giggles as you sat up and watched Kihro strip his shirt off before he stalked up the bed towards you, your legs were already splayed for him, your wetness soaking through your shorts so there was a wet spot over your core and when he got on all fours over you- you greedily pulled him to you to kiss your nerves away as his weight settled over you as you let that comfort you. The feel of his surprisingly soft but supremely warm skin over his hard, sculpted body was lighting you up just as much as his hands stroking your soft sides from lifting your shirt. His hands, although rougher from callouses from years of hard work, yet there was a supreme gentle reverence in his touch. Like you were a precious gem he was caressing. Like you were his greatest treasure. You couldn’t feel any safer or more comfortable than in his embrace. 

Yet you were so relieved when Kihro slowed down and just laid over you and kissed you until all the tension in your body melted away and when Kihro started kissing your neck and chest, you were itching to get out of your clothes and feel all of his skin against all of yours as you started tugging on your shorts to get them off and that seemed to be what Kihro was looking for before he lifted himself up on his elbows to give you room to remove them and your underwear as he took that cue to take his own pants off and you could only giggle like a loon to see his cock straining in his boxers as you palmed it and started stroking it as you started to lavish open mouthed kisses to his chest and neck as his touch got a little firmer and deliciously needy before he helped you out of your bra. 

“There’s my friends.” Kihro practically giggled once your boobs were free from their constraints before he grabbed them and started kneading them before he started sucking on them as you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him closer before he moved one hand to your center and delved in which made you moan and throw your head back. 

Before this was as far as you could go. But now, instead of only getting your feet wet as the waves caressed them and staring at the water, now you could jump right in. You eagerly pulled the covers down and moved the two of you to between the covers before you greedily got him over you and between your legs and it took a little bit of work getting the head in because it was softer and squishier than the rest of the shaft and once it was in you both blew out a shaky breath of relief which got you both to laugh a little breathlessly and with a good and gentle push, your maidenhood gave way but he was in, it was a tight fit, but he fit and you felt your prayers and his were answered and Kihro made sure you were as comfortable as possible for every bit of it and made sure you were ok and made sure that you wanted this and was ready to pull out, literally- at any moment. But you stuck your heels behind his legs and locked him in because you didn’t want him going anywhere but farther in. 

“We made it this far, come on Baby, take me all the way home.” You insisted before he looked at you so softly. 

“I’m already home with you.” He murmured as he pressed his forehead to yours. 

“Me too.” You whispered as you shared a breath with him as he started to ease in and out as the pain lessoned and morphed into pleasure and the more relaxed and turned on you got the more your canal opened up and the easier it was but at the same time you could tell Kihro was officially on a slippery slope because while you could tell he was bound and determined to get you to cum before he did but you could tell he was fighting his own release as if it was a mighty foe. 

“Baby, get a condom on before you lose your load.” You urged. 

“No, I can...I can last.” He tried to insist as he rested his head on the pillow next to your head as you kegalled and constricted around him as you grinded against him with a meaningful look that said ‘Are you sure about that?’

“Oh fuck, yeah, ok, ok, ok.” Kihro caved as he pulled out and rolled over so he could get into the drawer where he stashed a box of condoms and he had spent last night trying to find the ones that would fit him best and once he was protected you got on and started to ride him and he just stared up at you in awe wonder. 

“You are the greatest vision my eyes will ever see.” Kihro professed and your heart melted. 

“Aww, likewise, I can’t wait to live the rest of my life with you and I don’t care where we live or what we do as long as we’re together doing it.” You mirrored as a few happy tears came to your eyes. “I’m just so happy that you’re mine.” You confessed before he sat up and cradled you in his arms. 

“I’m always going to be yours.” Kihro vowed. “Just like you are always going to be mine as long as you want to be.” Kihro added. 

“I wouldn’t worry about me ever changing my mind if I were you.” You reassured him. “You’re stuck with me.” You giggled. “As long as you want to be.” You added as you bit your lip. 

“I’ll always want to Baby,” he purred before he kissed you and nibbled on your lip because seeing you bite it only made him want to nibble on it himself which made you giggle. 

“You and your lip fetish.” You teased. 

“Not just any lips, your lips, all your lips.” He practically growled which made you squeal in delight as he hiked his hips up with more power that nearly knocked the air out of your lungs but made a moan spill from your kiss swollen lips. 

You let your instincts take control and before you knew it you were so close you recognized the home stretch and by now Kihro had flipped you over and was pounding into you as your body was tensing from the extreme pleasure Kihro was giving you and then with one last push, you were falling into bliss just as Kihro was stuffing that condom full as he slammed into you so deep you felt the head run into the top of your cervix as his fingers dug into the softness of his hips as his growling roar of completion was the most amazing sound and helped amplify your own orgasm. 

“Wow,” you breathed as you basked in the afterglow as Kihro rested over you and caught his breath. 

“Uh huh, wow, well worth the wait, damn baby, that was the best...just...the best...most amazing, you’re so amazing, holy shit that was mind blowing.” Kihro gushed as he cuddled with you and kissed you all over. “Thank you, thank you, thank you for the best sex of my life.” He thanked you which made you crack up. 

“Best sex of our lives so far.” You giggled because truth was Kihro was every bit of a virgin that you were. 

“That’s true.” Kihro conceded before he kissed you before he pulled away and a huge load of semen was ballooning out at the head which made you both giggle. 

“Been saving that for me huh?” You gently teased as he pulled away and very carefully took it off before he tied it off and threw it away and got cleaned up and got you cleaned up. 

“I’m sorry if I hurt you Babe,” he cooed as he helped clean you up. 

“That pleasure was definitely worth the little bit of pain and discomfort, it’s only going to get better from here.” You reassured him before you both got ready for bed and finally got a chance to sleep together in the purest sense. 

When you woke up, you had some amazing morning sex before you made breakfast together, being ever so grateful that Kihro could cook and not just cook but clean up after himself before you walked to the rest of the beach and just talked about everything under the sun and made all kinds of plans before you went back and decided to open all your cards that you had gotten that your parents had dumped into a bag for you as Kihro wrote down who gave what for the purpose of writing thank you cards as you counted up the money and gift cards and come Monday morning, you deposited all that you could and got a bank balance at your bank so that you could take that to Kihro’s bank and to your surprise, your parents and Kihro’s parents met you there for the purpose of co-signing, you knew that Kihro’s parents would co-sign but to have your parents also cosign meant a lot to you that they would give you this kind of support. 

Now the hard parts- finding a house and planning a wedding. 

[rhnuzlocke]

Chapter Ten: Street Fighting

Slateport was a bustling port city that had slowly taken over the entire cape and began to creep inland. It wasn’t as built up or modern as Kogane, in whose shadow Ren had spent her childhood. Instead it reminded Ren of the more distant Asagi, complete with a towering lighthouse shining above it all.

Ren bought them fresh Carvanha fritters and kumara chips in the crowed market by the fishing docks, then picked up a bag of ginger-coconut biscuits at a bakery as they wove their way south. She’d been missing fish and there was nothing like getting the morning’s catch before noon—even if it wasn’t quite the same as the Koiking korokke and roast yakiimo she used to pick up on her way into town.

Slateport’s beaches were enormous—the largest Ren had ever seen. They wrapped two-thirds of the way around the city and stretched at least a hundred meters beyond the dunes and smooth slate walkway. There were sandbars out further still that people and pokemon had swam to. Ren took off her boots and let her feet sink into the dry, shifting sand. She winced at the scorching heat until it was up to her ankles, but Tāraki flopped down and let out something akin to a purr as he splayed out.

“According to the visitor’s guide, all the battling in the city takes place out here,” Ren told her team.

Māia gave a few experimental flaps on her shoulder. “Excellent! The wind is perfect!”

Panahi clacked her beak in agreement.

“Akahana, you should still be taking it easy, so just let me know if you’d rather rest in your ball.” She nodded. “Iki.”

The Surskit startled out of Ren’s shadow. “Y-yes?”

“I want you to take the lead, if you feel up to it.”

“What?”

Ren rubbed at her shoulder. “Sometimes it seems like you still don’t think you’re a battler. But that’s my fault for neglecting your training. If you give me another chance, I bet I can prove to you that you can be.” Iki fidgeted. “What’d ya say, little bug? Want to give this a go?”

Iki glanced at Akahana before squaring up to Ren. “Y-yeah, let’s do it!”

Was it hope, or did you see potential in her?

“I knew she could be great. Even though it scared her, she always had such unshakable dedication. It ran deeper than even I knew. She threw her all into every fight. The fear never made her freeze, it only made instincts keener. There was no way she wouldn’t become a top battler.”

I see.

“Is that why I chose her in the first place? I thought…”

Do not doubt yourself. The way you have sought to heal and empower all of those bonded to you—to use your strength to protect even strangers—is why I chose you. It is at your very core, Ren.

“You’re right. I’ve always wanted to do good with my abilities, even when I still wanted to do great things.”

It is my belief that you will do both.

Trainers were scattered all around and battles took place wherever they could find enough open space between the other beachgoers. Much to Tāraki and Māia’s delight, there were more than enough opponents around the right badge level for Ren’s entire team to get some practice between Iki’s bouts.

The matches by the seaside were particularly exciting and informative. Water moves could manifest so differently with a source so readily available, and fully aquatic pokemon could maneuver in in wholly new ways. And Iki could skate across the waves with a speed and grace that blew her movements across dry land out of the water.

But high on the beach, where the sand was loose and drifting, her spindle legs sunk beneath the surface and her speed fell behind the Slugma she was facing. It glided across a layer of glass melted by the heat of its magma, and Iki only managed to escape by turning more sharply than it was able. She zigzagged away from a Rock Throw only to be driven further into the sand by an Ember. Ren could see her trembling.

“Dig deep, Iki! You can do this!”

The shaking stopped as the Slugma surged forward, but instead of ducking down for a Fell Stinger, Iki stood tall and released a rushing stream of bubbles from her open mouth. They burst and hissed upon impact, splattering the Slugma’s viscous skin asunder until is disappeared in a cloud of steam.

The sea breeze cleared it a moment later, revealing a sunken puddle of black rock with magma glowing through the cracks

“Oh,” Iki murmured in shock.

“That was Bubble Beam!” Ren cheered. “You have a water move now! This is gonna change the game for you!”

“Really?”

“Absolutely, little bug!” Ren grinned wide and Iki smiled tentatively back.

The other trainer stood back up from inspecting her Slugma, and withdrew it. “I’m gonna take Mote to the Pokemon Center.”

“Thanks for the battle!”

“Oh, uh, you too.” The trainer almost turned to go, but hesitated. “You said this was your first time in Slateport, right?”

“Yeah!”

“Then you might not have heard, but they hold tourneys at the Seashore House every Friday. It’s a bar just down there on the west end.” Ren followed where she was pointing and spotted a blue roof a ways off on the beach. “It’s worth a go if you’re still in town tomorrow. I always go.”

Ren threw her an appreciative smile as thanks. “Sounds great! We’ll be sure to check it out.”

“Maybe I’ll see you there then bye!” She said in a rush before jogging off.

Ren turned immediately back to the task at hand. “This is perfect! We just need to do a little target practice and we’ll be ready for thing!”

Iki looked over at the sunken hole where the Slugma had been. “If you say so.”

...

The pink and orange of sunset painted the horizon and set the sand alight as Ren and her pokemon set out the next evening. The Seashore House was packed when they entered—filled to the brim with trainers and their pokemon. A smiling middle-aged man and a Tentacool bustled behind the long bar serving up drinks while one harried waitress took orders from the seated patrons. Buoys and lifesavers splashed bright color across the slatted wood walls, and the smell of fried seafood wafted powerfully from the direction of the kitchen. The room was buzzing with conversation and pulsing with excitement. Ren felt her heart beat a little quicker and a grin overtake her face.

She drifted outside with the rest of the mingling trainers to find the large stone patio being cleared. She grabbed the end of one of the remaining picnic tables with some of the others and set it down in the sand in line with the rest now encircling the patio.

“Hey, y’all! Listen up now!” A voice boomed from an amp near the side door. The buzz quieted and everyone’s attention turned to a girl who couldn’t have been over twelve, mic in one hand and the other thrown in the air, standing on a crate to see over the sea of heads.

“This is your Master of Ceremonies, your Officiator of Fun and your ultimate Judge of Battle Badassery, KAT KORRAAAAA!”

The regulars roared their approval while some of the new initiates clapped unevenly in confusion. Ren whooped. After an appropriate amount of adoration, the girl lowered her hand and all fell quiet.

“Let me lay out the rules for the new blood and all them that’s just passing through. All matches are one v one, standard League rules. The first tournament is for greenhorns through two badges. Next is for three and four badges, so on and etc. You get the idea. Winner of each tourney gets as many free drinks as they can knock back! Remember, you can only lose once, but you can win again and again so step right up hopefuls, gather round spectators and prepare yourselves for the BEATDOWN!”

Ren waded through the crowd and wrote her name in the bracket beside the building. Spectators filled the picnic tables while pokemon took the edge of the patio for a better view. Ren and her competitors surveyed each other appraisingly.

“I’m seeing a lot of plant, dark, and fire-types.” Ren whispered down to her team. “This is yours to win, Iki!”

Iki was trembling, but she nodded resolutely.

Pride mixed with excitement rushed through Ren’s veins and had her tingling down to her toes by the time her first match was called. Her opponent sent in a Houndour against Iki, and Ren glimpsed Akahana don a matching grin.

Ren had Iki douse the ring with Water Sport to dampen its fire and use the puddle to hydroplane around its jaws. A Quick Attack to each flank had it staggering and third to its shoulder brought it down before it had managed to land a single hit. The swiftness and decisiveness of the victory caused a moment of quiet before Kat shattered it with her judgement and sent Iki skittering back between Ren’s legs.

They faced a Seedot in the next round, which proved tougher. But Ren correctly guessed that its joints were the most vulnerable, and Iki had the precision to follow through with Fell Stinger. The third round was a Numel whose combination of Magnitude and Flame burst had Iki quaking, but once again she didn’t freeze and it succumbed. The fourth was a Cacnea, whose troublesome Sand Attack they beat back with Bubblebeam. It was difficult to land any effective hits without getting in range of its Needle Arm, but they managed to distract and encumber it enough to get a decisive hit on its vulnerable crown.

The crowd grew more and more raucous as each successive tier of the bracket filled until the final battle was announced. A trainer with a mohawk and piercings stepped into the ring with his Boldore opposite Ren and Iki.

Finally a real challenge! Ren felt her body lower and her hands come up like she was preparing for a judo bought, and Iki mimicked the stance in front of her. The other trainer sneered and his Boldore postured to play to the crowd. It was about four times Iki’s size and must have been near ten times her weight. They would have to be quick and careful to beat it, but that was where they excelled.

You seem to think of your confidence as a weakness of late, but to my mind, it is perhaps your greatest strength.

“Thinking I could handle things I couldn’t has gotten pokemon killed! You know that! You’ve seen it!”

I disagree. Look again, Ren. Look harder.

Ren and Iki waited for the opening move they knew was coming, and the Surskit sprang to the side to dodge the rock launched at her. It shattered by Ren’s feet, but she felt rather saw it as her eyes followed Iki’s zig-zagging path around the edge of the ring. Three more rocks narrowly missed before the attack was spent, but by then Iki had lined up a clear shot and hit it square in the leg with Bubble Beam.

The Boldore stumbled in surprise, but then leapt back at her with a Smackdown. Instead of running, Ren had Iki parry with Fell Stinger, which unbalanced and sent it stumbling back.

The crowd roared almost as loud as Ren’s heart in her ears, the pitch of it climbing at her audacity. But Iki paid the price when her own unsteady legs failed to carry her out of range of a Headbutt. The crowd gasped as the force of it pinned her to the ground. There was no getting away this time, and the Boldore raised a leg to stomp her.

But Ren didn’t reach for her ball or call their surrender. Instead her command rang out in the relative quiet as the audience anticipated the end. Iki raised her head and blasted the Boldore point blank in the face with Bubble Beam. It staggered as the first bubbles exploded against it, wobbled as Iki pressed the attack, and collapsed as Ren and Iki’s strength outlasted it.

The crowd went absolutely wild. People and pokemon were jumping and screaming and cheering. Iki didn’t jump this time. Instead, light suffused her and a breeze rushed out from her, quieting the crowd.

Iki emerged from the shell of light looking unlike any of the many Masquerain varieties in Ren’s Pokedex. Her head was crowned with a pointed, golden helm with a plume of red rising from the back. Her false eyes were a stark and hypnotizing contrast of black and white, and her mask was a deep shade of pink. She was amazing.

“What a tournament! What an upset!” Kat yelled over the mic. “Folks, it looks like we have our winner! Give it up for Ren Kosugi and her MVP, Iki the Surskit!” The crowd cheered wildly again and the girl waited for a lull to continue. “Or should I say Masquerain? Let’s congratulate her on that awesome evolution!” The cheering picked up again, but this time with more applause and a few lycan-whistles. “I think we can all agree we’ve never seen a bug quite like that folks! What a sweep! Be sure to collect your reward, Ren!”

Iki’s head was tilted down, trying to catch her reflection in the sheen of water over slate.

“Iki!” Ren called.

Iki turned and looked up, but her eyes found Akahana instead. The Poochyena’s black lips curved upward in a rare smile. Iki’s wings began to beat furiously, propelling her up several feet before she got them under control. Ren ran to her rescue, scooping Iki up and hugging her in her arms.

“You look awesome, little bug! I’m so proud!”

Ren felt Iki press her face into her shoulder. “Thank you.”

In another moment, Ren loosened her grip enough to look down at her pokemon “So do you believe me yet?”

Iki took a moment to answer, but there was hope and happiness in her eyes.

“Yeah.”

...

Later that night in their room in the Pokemon Center, Ren was drifting off on a bunk with Akahana already snoozing beside her, when a low whistle pulled her back to consciousness. It repeated, sharper this time.

“Iki!” It was Māia.

Ren cracked an eye open and saw Iki’s red plume jolt in the shade-filtered moonlight.

“Y-yes?”

“The others and I wanted to congratulate you on your evolution,” said Panahi gently.

“Really?”

There were murmurs of ascent all around.

“Of course, dear. You worked very hard, and you did so well. We were all impressed.”

Iki fidgeted in her cushion. “Oh, wow, thank you. I-I mean that’s very kind. I didn’t think I was doing that great…”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” hissed Māia. “That tournament was awesome!”

“Especially that last battle!” Tāraki gushed. “The way you received that Smackdown with your head spike!” He was on his feet, imitating the motion with the frond sprouting from his head.

“That took guts!” Said Māia. “And I would know.”

Iki was quiet for a moment, then ventured: “because your ability is called Guts?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh.” Then Iki let out a little tinkling sound that might have been a giggle.

Ren pressed her hands over her mouth to stop herself from squealing and giving herself away.

“You see?”

Yes. I see a trainer who cares very deeply about her pokemon and their happiness.

“I—You!—Don’t laugh at me after being so kind!”

Only if you cease mocking your virtues.

“Personally I liked the way you used Water Sport to speed yourself up and Bubble Beam to slow the others down,” said Hakeka. “I didn’t know you were so clever.”

“Ren helped me with—”

The Shroomish interrupted before Ren could: “still, props on the execution.” Iki did not deflect again and Hakeka continued. “Now that you’re talking to us, I’ve got a question for you—if I may?”

“Um, sure. What is it?”

“Why do you hang out with the grumpy Poochyena so much?”

Ren saw Iki rise up off her cushion, false eyes flaring. “Aka is not grumpy! She’s really nice!”

“Yeah, lay off her, Hakeka!” Māia chirped. “Akahana defeated me in battle. She’s super cool!”

“Whoa! Alright, okay. Clearly I’ve been missing out on something.”

Tāraki started giggling, and soon the rest of them joined in until Panahi gently shushed them and made them go to sleep.

...

Ren wove between the colorful stalls of Slateport’s central market, laden down with bags and Panahi perched on her shoulder. The crowds dissipated as she made her way north to a small park in the shadow of a large, gaudily decorated building. She collapsed onto a bench by a fountain that shot elegant arcs of water from the snouts of patinated copper Horsea, Seadra, and a single Kingdra atop the rest. Panahi hopped down to float in the pool and Ren leaned back to let the mist cool her face.

“I hate shopping.”

“Well I love it!” Panahi declared, paddling around placidly behind her.

“Happy you’re a trainer’s pokemon now?”

“I can no longer deny it has its benefits.”

“That necklace was one pricey battle item, so I’m glad you’re happy with it.”

Panahi huffed. “You think I got this for me? Please, Honey, this is a service to humanity! Just look at me. I’m radiant!”

Ren craned her neck at an awkward angle to watch the Wingull puff out her chest with pride. The cerulean jewels twinkled in their web of delicate silver chains like the warm shallows off the beach. Ren hoped the rest of her team was half as pleased with their gifts as Panahi seemed to be.

Ren sat up as people began to pour out of the building opposite, their excited murmuring overtaking the peaceful splashing of the fountain behind her. Some of them dispersed, but many hung around—in anticipation of what, Ren couldn’t be sure.

“Goodness, that’s a sizable flock,” Panahi commented.

Ren shaded her eyes and squinted to read the golden lettering above the doors. “Oh, it’s a contest hall. One must have ended.”

“Are contests where pokemon put on performances instead of battling?”

“I think so? I’m not so sure exactly what happens. We don’t have them in Johto.”

The crowd suddenly parted to make way for a news crew as a woman in a frilly costume and her equally adorned Altaria emerged. She smiled wide as she answered questions and the pair posed for pictures.

“Must be some life,” Panahi sighed.

Ren turned back to her, and all bubbly satisfaction from earlier was gone. Panahi absently preened  one of her primaries that was nicked by a move the day before.

Ren sucked on her tongue as she fought with herself about what to say. “Ahi, you know you don’t have to be a battler, right?”

“Don’t worry about me, Honey,” Panahi said, brushing the thought aside with a wing. “I don’t mind pulling my weight, even if I’m not as enthused as the chicks.” She yawned. “I could use a nap though.” Ren pulled Panahi’s pokeball off her belt. “Send one of the others out to keep an eye on the shopping,” Panahi instructed sternly before tapping the button and flowing inside.

Ren turned the ball over in her hands. She’d have to think of something. But maybe now wasn’t the time.

Does this Ren seem selfish to you? Impulsive?

“I suppose not. No… I guess I have been a little hard on myself lately.”

Ren stowed Panahi’s ball and tapped Iki’s. The Masquerain emerged in a flash of red light.

“Do you mind being out for a bit? It’s fine if you’re still tired from last night.”

“No, I don’t mind.”

She drifted on whirring wings and landed with the tips on the surface of the pool, hydrophobic coating keeping her afloat while Ren set up her vapor box. She lowered her purchases into it, watching them melt into the wood one by one. Behind her, Iki was staring down at her reflection. She raised her false eyes for a moment and then slowly let them droop. Ren opened the last package instead of stowing it and held it out for Iki to see.

“These are for you.”

Iki snapped out of her contemplation and peered at the pair of polished blue stones instead. “So pretty.”

“They’re mystic water gems. You can wear them in battle to boost the power of Bubble Beam.”

“Oh, that’s so kind of you. Thank you, Ren.”

“I thought we could mount them on your helmet instead of a necklace. What do you think?” Iki tilted her head, watching the sunlight play through them. “I’d like that.”

“Great! The vendor said we could go back and she’d help me attach them.”

Someone passed by them, and Ren’s eyes caught on a dark, tattooed forearm. She glanced up and, even in profile, the broken nose and scared lip were unmistakable. Ren jumped to her feet.

“Josh!” The tall, gangly teen startled and stopped in his tracks, shoulders hunching. “What are you doing here?”

He turned around slowly. “Hey, R-ren.”

Ren’s cheeks puffed out as she bit back whatever she was planning to say. Her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “How do you know my name?”

“They, uh, s-s-said. On the news.”

“Right. Shit.”

“I d-d-d-d—” He stopped, took a breath. “Your f-father is a gym leader?”

“Yeah, um—”

“Wow, your M-m-masquerain is—wow.”

“I know! Isn’t she beautiful?” He nodded and Iki glanced between them, pink mask flushing redder. Then Ren remembered who she was talking to and the warm feeling vanished as quickly as it had come over her. “Wait! Stop that right now! We are not friends, Josh. Remember? I didn’t call you over for small talk!”

Josh flinched and looked down at his feet. “R-right, yes, yeah, of course… Sorry.”

“Good. Now, what are you doing here?”

“N-n-nothing! N-not st-st-stealing! J-j-j-j-j—I’m running some errands!”

“You can’t even lie properly? Why did they hire you?”

Josh swallowed hard, eyes scrunching closed for a second as his adam’s apple bobbed. “Who? What—”

“Cut the crap! You aren’t just some thief trying to make a quick buck.”

“No!” His brows lowered into a scowl, then his eyes widened as he realized his mistake.

“You work for Magma. You’re here for them. What are they doing here, Josh?”

“I’m not—They—N-n-nothing illegal! A n-normal errand! I have to go!” Josh took off running and Ren ran after him.

“Ah, so this is why we’re here?”

You would rather move on?

“I know our first two meetings were important but— I’d rather not dwell on this one. Makes me feel stupid. I should have seen that stunt he pulled on Mt. Pyre coming.”

I had thought his actions there might have gone some way towards mending things. But perhaps you did not see?

“See what?”

He followed you to the peak. He risked his life to make sure you were unharmed and in safe hands.

“Oh… I suppose that makes us even again. But, uh, what did you want ask about this moment?”

Why did you confront him?

“Ah, that’s fair. Of course I wanted my involvement with Magma to be over after what happened in Granite Cave. But it also made it hard for me to [i]not[/i] be involved. I couldn’t just let him go and learn later on that I could have helped but did nothing… Oh, I think I see your point.”

Before Josh had run thirty feet, he stopped abruptly and Ren nearly crashed into him. He pulled something out of hip bag as she recovered her balance and pressed it into her hands.

“This is for you.”

Ren was so startled that took it without thinking. It was something light and flat in a brown paper bag. She reached in and pulled out a TM.

“What—?” She meant to ask him, but he was already gone. “Ugh! What the hell was that? He just—and I—I can’t believe he tricked me into taking this! He probably stole it!” She flipped the TM over and growled in pure frustration. “Smackdown? What kind of joke is this? Why that beanpole son-of-a—”

“Maybe it’s not a joke,” said Iki by her ear.

“What?”

“Maybe it’s a gift. You did save his life.”

“That doesn’t mean he wasn’t just trying to…” Ren trailed off and took a breath. “You know, you’re probably right.” Ren cast around one last time before returning to her abandoned vapor box on the bench. She stowed it and Iki’s gems in her shoulder bag. “Let’s go get you fixed up!”

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 9]

Eight badges have been earned! All that’s left is the plot, the Elite Four, and possibly some other stuff I haven’t decided on that gets us through the rest of the map!

Our starting roster, in its current order:

Batman, Lv. 48 (Escavalier)

Palm, Lv. 51 (Breloom)

Ptera, Lv. 46 (Archeops)

Frogger, Lv. 47 (Seismitoad)

Fido, Lv. 49 (Entei)

Gelding, Lv. 47 (Tornadus)

Possibly the end of this wild adventure awaits, so awaaaaay we go!

First up is, as tradition dictates, someone immediately bothering me the second I walk out of the Gym.

Yay!

Only if you actually described how to do that, I completely missed it. I caught something about directions to Victory Road, which I already sort of knew about thanks to trying to avoid the plot earlier, but nothing about bringing back dead things. ...Wait, are the dragons dead? Or just rocks?

Well luckily, I don’t really care either way.

Professor Juniper walks us over to the edge of town, and asks if we regret going on this journey.

...I wanted to say no just so I could see what the dialogue would be like, but that... no. That would be too mean. I couldn’t possibly. Professor Juniper is a kind lady who gives us sweet stuff.

SPEAKING OF.

This is intended for Zekrom.

I think I might go ahead and use it as intended, honestly. Fighting Zekrom could result in one of my team dying, and I believe the fight is mandatory. Since Zekrom is not touched by the Randomizer, I will not give it a nickname, rendering it ineligible, but catching it is safest, and it is my belief that Zekrom will be the first catchable pokemon in the area it appears. So if I wanted, it could be eligible. But I really think I want to stick with randoms only.

...By the way. Is the roadwork on the right side of town done?

Curses.

I guess the plot truly is calling us now.

Then on my way to the Victory Road area, the attendant who keeps the... hell, I don’t know what they’re called. I went with liminal space last time. They aren’t bridges. Waypoints? Anyway, the attendant says that there’s some sort of storm going on at Route 7.

-looks at Gelding-

Gee.

I wonder.

What could it be.

Let’s go avoid the plot and investigate!

It was a dark and stormy night.

Which pokemon could you possibly be speaking of, mysterious old lady.

She invites me inside for soup and gives me another mythology lesson. This time about the Legendary Thundurus. It creates thunderstorms. She also gives me a note on where to find it when, but that’s really not a concern of this run.

But thanks for the soup.

Hey.

Gelding.

Can you guess. Which cloud pokemon legendary of this gen. Is my favorite?

Aw no, the thing I’m not allowed to catch flew away. Darn.

Okay, back to plot and Victory Road.

Dang it, Cheren. I was not meaning to refer to you with that remark.

Bianca’s here to watch, but I couldn’t get a proper screencap of it.

...Batman is setting a record for flinching against Cheren’s Unfezant. Meanwhile, Unfezant spams Detect interspersed with flinching moves and my sanity goes down the drain. But eventually, the evil is defeated.

Liepard goes down without a fuss, but Batman’s complete lack of Speed means her HP is lower than I’d like, so for Meganium we’re giving Ptera a chance to stretch his wings. That goes well, and Simisage is up next with similar results.

Battle over.

See Cheren, this is why you’re one of my best friends.

Ha ha ha ha Bianca gave me Max Revives.

Ha.

Ha.

-sobs silently-

Your attempts at help are appreciated, Bianca. Stay wonderful.

They both see me off with words of kindness, because the people who make these games realized at some point that the people who play them could really use some friends.

Or so I like to think. ...That sounds sort of mean, I guess, but it truly is nice to have rival characters who are your actual friends. X & Y are even more blatant about it, and I really, really liked that part of them. Go team friendship.

Now then.

It’s time...

to

d-d-d-d-duel!

Or something. Onward!

This gen is committed to the power of Aesthetic, and I respect that.

It’s just so pretty.

Wait, crap, this pretty place has grass.

Uh.

...Rules for doubles?

...Oh to heck with it, the pretty badge gardens do not count as places. I’m just. Gonna faint you guys. Because I’m too lazy to think through the trouble of catching one of you.

Still pretty.

Admittedly, this one is sort of weird.

...And the music has gone major, major Wind Waker. I own that soundtrack. It is one of the most expensive ones I ever bought myself, and this music is giving me feels, man.

This gen is focused on all the right things and its wonderful.

The guy standing in front of this gate mentions that each gate is like its own world, so, if we do happen upon another pokemon in another gate that is easier to acquire, I’m going to count it as a different space.

...Maybe.

Where does the map say I’m at?

Oh, actually, I’m still in Route 10, so the Ariados and Sentret were out anyway.

Even though I just said that the gates count as different worlds. I am a hypocrite and an opportunist.

Honestly, I just wanted to check if I’d used up my Victory Road slot or not.

Hey Clay.

Clay.

You know who didn’t skimp on aesthetic values?

The Gym Leader who’s also a model.

Maybe you could learn a thing or two from her section.

(Still, A+ glowy green rocks.)

At this point I’m just really convinced that someone working on this game really loves Wind Waker. This person playing it obviously does.

BRYCEN DO NOT PULL THIS ICE PUZZLE NONSENSE IN THE FINAL QUARTER. UNCOOL BRO. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE MASTER OF COOL. REINSTATE YOUR CHILL TO BETTER LEVELS.

(Ice pretty.)

I can’t actually complain about dragon sculptures. They are awesome and worthy of love, even if the color value is low. It’s not all about pretty. The feel matters just as much, and by golly, this is the ancient feel of dragon power right here.

So of the eight...

I’m torn between the garden with the pretty bridge and the electric zone.

Think I gotta give it to the butler squad. You mastered the pretty.

Victory Road! Officially!

...Am I going to need Bandit for this?

..Well. If I did have Bandit with me, I would be looking at a new teammate.

Sorry little guy, there’s not enough value in attempting to catch you. Maybe next time. If there is ever a next time.

...Oh come on.

Okay, there’s a Simisear. Something to kill.

Actually, at this point, Ptera might be the best pick for the front. Batman’s in secure shape. Meanwhile, the water has Pansear. Careful, that almost feels like a planned random.

Fingers crossed for getting away with not going back to get Bandit. I think this is the gen that’s extra kind about things like HMs, and the Dragonspiral Tower would seem to support that with its easy route (if you have HM) and the long way round (if you don’t). So I’ll just. Keep walking forward.

Besides, if memory serves (obligatory laugh), that boulder is for the quick way back out from somewhere near the top.

This level has Chinchou.

Oh, and I get to slide down cliffs! I’d fully forgotten that!

Outside has Machamp. Is outside a different route?

...Fine, no.

Back inside, we have Baltoy, Kabutops, Dragonite, Clefable (who. hits. with. Sing. because. of. course.), Sentret, Rattata, and Bronzong.

I always liked Kabutops. I think back when the first gen was the only gen, it was one of my top tier favorites. It’s a rock with scythes. What more could a child ask for?

...Okay, see. This? This is why me playing a Nuzlocke is a bad idea. I do stupid things.

Ptera, buddy, I’m sorry I put you so close to death. Have a Hyper Potion. I won’t make you fight any more Bronzong with Gyro Ball. I am very sorry that happened at all, and have no desire for it to happen again.

I’ve avoided thinking about the Elite Four, but this Ace Trainer has a level 45 Stoutland and a level 45 Scolipede. That starts moving well into the danger zone, and this Victory Road, truth be told, is not the greatest spot for grinding.

Outside again, and there’s an Amoongus that might just be a Randomized find.

PP is running low enough that I’m just going to hit a Pokemon Center. It isn’t like I’ll lose much progress. ...Thanks to me cliff sliding down for an item, but I stopped recording every item I picked up a while ago.

(It was a Taunt TM.)

Hey, the first floor has Rufflet, too. More things to get no exp from. And then Voltorb! I like Voltorb.

...I am, however, having a concern about my future prospects. My best option, if I want to go with grinding, seems to be standing outside and slaughtering Machamp.

...I go into another section of cave and find Castform. Then there is Solosis.

Where were all you pre-evolved forms when I started this venture.

Cool, I found a healing.

Elite Four is... Fighting, Psychic... Ghost. Aaaand. And.

I know Alder has Escavalier, Volcanabugthing, and Accelgor (is that the spelling?). He might have an Archeops, but that could also be my memory skipping out on me.

I’m watching TFS play Nuzlockes, and I think one of them said that the typings for the Elite Four cover things not covered by Gyms.

Hey, a Cradily. Look, opportunity everywhere!

...And as I sarcastically spew comments, a Haxorus appears. Yeah, okay.

The first Gym counters your starter, so it’s basically Fire/Grass/Water. Second is Normal (brb sobbing forever). Third is Bug. Fourth is Electric. Fifth is Ground. Sixth is Flying. Seventh is Ice. Eighth is Dragon.

(Gothita is also outside, apparently. Yay.)

What does that leave... Steel, Rock, Dark.

Wait. Grimsley, right? Hell, is it really Dark? That is one really aesthetically... dark arrangement.

(Hi Shaymin. Nice to see you again.)

I keep having to start all over at the bottom because I go item chasing. Maybe I should save the item chasing for after I’m through. And have Bandit with me to push the boulders into being shortcuts.

Would you look at that.

All hidden away on the first floor.

A wild Huntail appears. We’re vaguely getting somewhere. Then we’re back to Sentret and I am back to fretting.

Oooh, a Ninetales.

Now the thing to remember is that I am not going to go cliff sliding. Exploration once Bandit is with us. Now is the time for progress. Not detours.

HA, Ptera has learned Rock Slide! Happy days.

I have no idea which is the right way.

;-;

HEY GUESS WHAT RIGHT WAS WRONG.

Aw, there’s Axew in this section. Best Dragon boy. Though the one I first murdered is a girl. Best Dragon girl.

This Veteran has a level 45 Gigalith. My comfort level with this is low, and Sturdy in the hands of others continues to be an abomination.

Frogger learns Hydro Pump because I have not actually been using Aqua Ring. If I need extra health I’ll just throw an item at him. If I need extra health, I will be in the kind of trouble Aqua Ring isn’t going to solve, anyway.

Fido drops Leer for Fire Fang thanks to the same fight.

Veterans are scary, but great exp.

I HAVE ARRIVED.

Okay, yes, important battles.

But.

Bandit, it’s time for your walk.

Fido, I think you’re in the box for a while. It would be Gelding, because Ptera covers his specialties, but Gelding knows Fly, and we’re going to be doing a lot of that as we skid down the mountain.

Before I walk right back out, I just need to say that this is one hell of a venue.

This gen’s aesthetic game is so on point.

Vullaby has been found on the giant mountain of maze. Maze of mountain? Horrorfest? Place. Also Pupitar.

Batman gets to be in front for a while. The spawns seem to be favoring her a little more at the moment.

This is the... Ground/Fighting beast’s chamber? I think? Can’t access at the moment, and will never need for any reason in this run.

...

Sigh.

Anyway, cliff sliding has produced a Nugget so far.

A wild Taillow appears. Followed by Remoraid.

Batman has to leave the front so I can actually run from all of this. Gelding, it’s your turn on the disappointment.

Cool, a Dragon Claw TM.

Whoa, a Seadra.

...Okay, yes, I’m past caring. There’s a limit to how much I’m okay with being delayed. Usually wild pokemon every five steps can at least be useful, but that’s not exactly the case of late.

I.

...

I. will stick with that as my statement.

Look, an Electrode!

...I was going to attack it, then it occurred to me that it might know Explosion. Quietly walking away it is!

I’m finding that a key problem with this exploration is that I find it very easy to end up lost when I’m basically walking in circles. I remember all the various pieces, but don’t remember how they fit together.

In other news, a Bulbasaur is here.

I am. Relatively sure that the original Victory Road has nowhere near this level of variety. I think the Randomizer has some interesting rules regarding cave levels. Most caves change what they have by level, but keep the basic cave set. Victory Road has a lot of separate rooms in this version (and I just met a Rampardos on the water). Not bound by the laws of what is usually found in caves, I think it just assigns every single room (Ferrothorn encountered) a different everything. Because there are [x] number of things meant to be there!

I adore the Randomizer, but this is actually getting to be a little dizzying.

Possibly because I am lost.

And now there is a Flygon.

...Yeah, Flying back to the top for some perspective.

(It’s at this point I start to wonder if I’ve actually covered everything, but I haven’t done the swoopy grey floor sliding, but that might be connected to the room I can’t go in yet.)

Gelding has learned Crunch!

...Look, all that text gets boring without pictures. Let there be meaningless color.

Suddenly, Leavanny.

Here’s a wild thought.

Maybe I don’t care if I miss an item.

-slides down cliff side-

-sees item I don’t have-

...

It’s that Doctor Who gif all over again.

So I slide down from somewhere higher on the right side to get there.

...I have a horrifying thought.

I find those are often right.

...Also Frogger is level 54, pal, you are now off the Exp. Share.

Yeah.

Yeah. That’s.

Don’t ask.

The trick was sliding more to the left of the Ranger hanging out above than I initially did. More to the right, and you get the Nugget I mentioned picking up. More to the left, and you get this.

It’s a TM. Wild Charge.

-waves tiny, battered flag-

How about this. How about we go back to things that are fun!

Like death and dying and being dead!

Okay.

Okay.

It’s going to be fine.

And I guess I have my answer about whether dealing with Team Plasma comes before or after. Castle nonsense post-this. Okay. Right.

I spent a bunch of money on Full Restores.

I also spent a bunch of money on the quirky poke balls they sell up here. Operating under the theory that I’m going to continue this run until I have had the option of catching a thing from every route.

I don’t know. It’s a nice dream.

Look, someone working on this game loves Zelda.

I’m pretty sure my above guesses about who’s got what are correct. I am less clear on who is where. I can’t remember if this begins a trend, or is just a quirk of the gen, but I have the option of picking the order I take them all on in.

Fighting, Dark, Ghost, Psychic.

...That is a really grim lineup.

If I’ve got it right.

Not for me, just. It’s Fighting + all of the sort of. witchy Types. I have a vaguely funny comment about that for later that I might remember unless I’m about to be traumatized.

I think I always took on Ghost girl first, then maybe Psychic girl last? Or was it Dark first? It might have been Dark first?

Let’s do a fun (sad) game. I’ll go clockwise, starting from the far left. Here’s my guess at who’s where:

Dark

Ghost

Fighting

Psychic

There. The stage is set for laughing at me.

............

I did not need to bother with a stage.

I went to take this screenshot with the intent of showing off my team without throwing more bullet points up before the final battle(s). The very first thing I noticed is that Gelding is missing health.

I think to myself, that’s weird, I was just in the Pokemon Center.

Yes. Yes, I was.

Guess what you forgot to do.

It’s not. terrible. Gelding’s missing 5 PP for Air Slash, but I have spare Super Potions from that time I mentioned buying Super Potions.

Anyway.

With that sterling start.

Let’s go find out what’s behind door number one.

Fuck it is Ghost girl first.

Maybe. That will be my loss for the session?

So. I have choices here. Ptera and Gelding both know Crunch. Fido knows Bite, but since none of these guys have STAB with Dark, Crunch buddies is the way to go. I’m also pretty darn sure she has a Jellicent, and there’s... something about its Ability. I can’t remember what. Same with the Mummy thing. Or maybe they just have moves that make it good to switch.

...It’s just now hitting me how much I played this gen. I have done the coming fights so many times. This is the first gen I really did EV training and IV breeding, and I did what I could to get all my choices up to level 100. I can’t believe I forgot that.

I think she starts with the Mummy thing. Which. That’s not its name. Something with a C? Mummy is its ability, though. I think. That might make Ptera a good start. His ability is used to keep him balanced (Defeatist lowers stats when his HP goes below half), and I don’t want balanced. I want obscene and broken creatures who I don’t have to watch die.

Cursed Body! That’s the Jellicent’s thing.

.I don’t remember what it does.

Okay.

Ptera up front, no item because I don’t want Acrobatics to lose out on its damage. Gelding can have the Lucky Egg, because I’m pretty sure this is a fight that I end up switching a lot over, and Palm will have an Amulet Coin because I like money and know I want him to take out the Jellicent.

Plan?

Sounds like.

Shauntal sends out a level 48 Cofagrigus, aka the mummy thing. So my usual level advantages aren’t going to be as steep, but I think part of getting your pick of who you face first means that there is a stable base for all their leveling. It shouldn’t get worse until Alder.

Or possibly N and the plot posse.

I’m not used to the Elite Four being wrapped up in the Team stuff.

Ptera’s faster, and Crunch does more than half. Cofragigus uses Wil-o-Wisp (which I might be spelling wrong; I’m not allowed guides and passed the text bubble because I figured of course I knew how to spell it), so Ptera is now burned. That’s not great for his damage output, but he still has enough to get the job done with one more Crunch.

Jellicent is up next so I was going to have to switch anyway. I’ll just go over to Gelding instead of Ptera after Palm (hopefully) makes quick work of the Jellicent.

It’s level 48 as well.

Seed Bomb just barely doesn’t get the faint, and Jellicent’s damage does 57 damage. Palm’s at 89/146 after one hit, and we’re in scary town. Palm’s faster, so even if Shauntal heals, the Jellicent should be done before this is a problem, but I do not like seeing massive chunks of health vanish in one hit.

Unless I’m inflicting it. Then it’s okay.

Yeah, she goes with a Full Restore.

The next Seed Bomb succeeds in slaying the beast, which is a nice bonus I wasn’t expecting, and whatever my worries about the Jellicent’s ability, nothing happened, so that’s good.

...Ah. Chandelure’s up next. That one I did forget about.

Want to put all those extra levels to work, pal?

And yeah. That is a level 50 Chandelure. That thing with obscene Special Attack.

Frogger’s Water/Ground. With a massive HP pool. He should be fine.

...

-picks Hydro Pump instead of Surf to try to get it done with quickly-

Chandelure goes first because Chandelure is amazing and Frogger is really more of a tank, and it does 73 damage because this game doesn’t care about my comfort levels, but lucky me, Hydro Pump’s accuracy does not fail, and that’s enough to take the best flaming ghost chandelier down.

Shauntal’s last pokemon is a Golurk. Ghost/Ground, right?

This is uncomfortable. My natural inclination is to spam Water against all things Water is super effective against. That is just a thing I am prone to. I also put a great deal of faith in Palm. I love Breloom, even when it has the wrong Nature.

But the thing is, we’re basically at the stage where my pokemon can take a hit, but if that hit is followed by a critical, they’re goners. Frogger and Palm have both taken heavy hits. Ptera hasn’t taken a huge hit, but he has no Defense and is BRNed.

Putting in a Flying thing against a Ground thing feels incredibly counterintuitive. Ptera surpasses that by being obscenely powerful. Gelding does not have that faith.

Nonetheless, I think maybe the safest thing to do here is to swap Frogger out instead of hoping he can one-shot the Golurk. I... think Golurk is another tanky type. None of its Ground moves can hit Gelding. Ghost will still pack a wallop, but. Well. I am guessing Gelding can live through one hit, and hopefully that will be enough.

Fido and Batman aren’t even options because they will definitely die, so.

Let’s go for it.

At least we’re back to 48s?

Crunch does over half, so even though Shadow Punch does over 60 damage we should be in the clear.

-collapses in heap-

I feel like I’m not doing enough justice to Shauntal, since my mind is very much not on anything but the battles at the moment. She’s got a cute design, and Ghost trainer novelist is wonderful. I think she quotes different passages from her books at you depending on when you fight her. Or she just switches through the lines at will. She’s a good character, and I really love the way she’s decorated her room.

...So I’m healing my pokemon and realizing another thing I forgot to do. I forgot to buy Full Heals. I used my last Burn Heal on Ptera just now. I think I have a small supply of Full Heals thanks to what I’ve grabbed walking around, but. Heh. Planning fail everywhere.

Okay, healed up and ready to go to door number two.

Yeah, I got Ghost girl and Dark boy swapped. Whoops.

The plan here. Is for Palm to murder them all. Palm gets Lucky Egg and first slot, Batman gets Amulet Coin. I believe Liepard will be coming out first, and I know he has a Bisharp.

...Drawing a complete blank on the others.

HEY HOLD THE FUCK UP WHY DO YOU HAVE THE SCRAFTY.

(He has a level 48 Scrafty.)

It’s Dark/Fighting, but I could’ve sworn that was the Fighting guy’s thing.

...Wait.

Is the Fighting guy even this gen?

Uh oh.

Well. Palm’s not a terrible choice for this. I don’t really want Ptera near a Fighting thing. ...Gelding could have handled this one, but oh well.

Mach Punch or Sky Uppercut is the question. I favor Mach Punch because it doesn’t miss, but Sky Uppercut’s accuracy really is not that bad. I think Sky Uppercut will do enough damage to maybe force healing, so... one then the other? Sky Uppercut gets first dibs in case of crit?

Scrafty’s very securely in the orange, but Palm is at 84/146.

I don’t know why I didn’t grind before this, but it’s a little late to keep finding ways to criticize my choices.

Grimsley uses the Full Restore, Palm uses Mach Punch, and yeah, Scrafty’s still in the green from that. Another Sky Uppercut hits, and Scrafty’s down.

Liepard’s up next.

Liepard is not nearly so heavy on damage, and Palm’s Defense is not bad. I think it’s safe to try, even though I’ll have to eat a Fake Out.

Wait, no, I have Batman. Batman’s swapped in.

Level 48 Liepard. Uses Fake Out, does 6 damage because Batman is the damn Batman.

...Liepard uses Attract.

Did you know. That through sheer happenstance. Batman is the sole female member of my team? And thanks to pokemon mechanics, falling in love as a status problem is purely a male/female dynamic?

“Batman is immobilized by love” oh please.

Thankfully that only takes up one turn. Then Batman remembers that Batman does not have time for love and goes to back to the wars. Thank goodness for emotional stunting.

Ugh. Now things are awkward. Krookodile is up next. That. Is worrying. I can’t remember if it or Bisharp is the level 50, but normally I like sending Palm up against the Dark croc line. But those things pack a major punch. Crits mean death. Batman has a Type disadvantage against Earthquake, which it most likely has.

....Heeeeeeey, Frogger...

Oh, right. That. Yeah, let the Special Attacker handle it.

I think I’ll go with Surf first. I also think Krookodile outSpeeds Frogger. So this. Should be. You know.

Yep, Krookodile uses Earthquake, and 79 HP is gone.

...But Surf can one-shot, so sweet.

I guess something that I have failed to keep in mind is that Frogger is competing with giants. In all fair assessment, my team is stacked. Frogger is one of the few standard team models from this gen. ...Even though a surprising amount of my team is. from this gen.

Good boy, Frogger.

And then there’s the Bisharp. Which is likely to be level 50.

Palm does 4x STAB damage to it.

Bisharp is a prime Attack pokemon.

Bisharp is also 2x weak to Fire.

Fido has yet to take a hit.

Sorry Palm, we’re playing this cautious.

Yep, level 50 Bisharp.

Fido uses Flamethrower and it is down. Awesome.

That’s two down.

Everyone’s healed.

Door number three time.

DAMN IT.

Yeah, fine, I got none of the order right.

Ptera’s out in front, no item in case of Acrobatics. Batman with Lucky Egg, Gelding with Amulet Coin.

Deep breath now.

Throughout all my memories of these fights, I definitely did not remember your name was Caitlin.

Level 48 Reuniclus out first. I think she also has a Gothowhatsit. Her others are... Things I should remember better but don’t.

Ptera uses Crunch, leaving Reuniclus in the red.

..

.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN REUNICLUS USED THUNDER.

Um.

UM.

I cannot begin to express how much this is a very bad problem.

...Fuck, that’s bad.

I will get to sad later maybe. For now it’s just. I am in so much trouble.

Gelding’s out on account of Thunder. Batman’s up.

Caitlin uses a Full Restore, naturally.

Batman uses Twineedle (wanted the poison just because/in case), and that actually faints it. Gothitelle’s up next, and honestly, if I’m right about the next guy being Fighting, I have no business risking Gelding. So.

Level 50 Gothitelle.

I’m just going to hope X-Scissor one-shots it.

Oh look, it has Thunderbolt.

...Why?

I get that Special Attack moves are great and all, and Thunderbolt and Thunder are both powerful Special Attack moves. But they don’t cover up a particular weakness. Water and Flying? That’s not stuff Psychic has a hard time with.

......No I’m not upset shut up.

X-Scissor gets it down to the very, very red, so Caitlin uses another Full Restore, giving me a free shot. Twineedle again in hope of poisoning. Success, and Gothitelle’s back in red. Another Thunderbolt, and Batman cleans up.

Next up is Sigilyph.

...I don’t know about Thunderbolt, but I think that thing has Ice Beam, and Bug is good against Psychic, but not Flying.

Fido, you’re my best best here.

STAB or 2x Bite, STAB or 2x Bite...

Wait. That’s math. Math I can actually do. Flamethrower beats Bite.

Fido’s faster, and that gets it down to orange (it’s level 48, by the way). It uses Psychic, and that does 64 damage. One more Flamethrower to finish it.

Oh.

And our final contestant is a Musharna.

Special Defense is too high. Fido’s use isn’t terrible, but. Then there’s Batman, with 82 HP left. That goes a long way when you’re made of Steel, but Fido does have Bite.

...Leave Fido in, if Fido gets slept, spend a turn healing Batman and then swap Batman in. Hopefully Fido does more damage than I expect. By a lot.

Level 48 Musharna incoming.

Bite leaves Musharna in the green, but I think two more will actually finish it, and more importantly, Fido is faster and Musharna flinched. So. Not a bad start.

Another Bite and Musharna is red, which... I hope Caitlin’s used her Full Restore allotment. Musharna uses Psychic, which scares me to death but only leaves Fido in the orange.

Please. Do not. Use a Full Restore.

Oh good.

Fido gets the final Bite, and.

And.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I have no ace for the last Elite Four member. Assuming I’m right about him being Fighting. I have Gelding, and things without bonuses. ...Fuck, that’s uncomfortable. And that’s without taking Alder into consideration. Which... depending on N and plot, and.

This is really bad. Team wiping is a serious concern here.

...Sorry I didn’t remember the Thunder, Ptera. You’ve been amazing.

Great.

I’ll guess... Mienfoo’s evolved form, the pillar behemoth thing, Sawk and Throh.

At least one of those will know a Rock move.

No Lucky Egg. Gelding’s equipped with a Sharp Beak.

-taps keyboard-

Well it’s not like there’s a way out, anyway.

So before I was really overwhelmed by everything I love dying, I had the thought that every member of the Elite Four is some kind of goth, and then this here is their jock boyfriend.

It was more amusing back then.

Ghost goth is cute goth, Dark goth is dramatic goth, Psychic sleeping beauty goth is prep goth, and then there’s Marshal.

Yeah, I don’t know, let’s just. Yeah.

Level 48 Throh.

.Air Slash misses, and Throh knows Stone Edge!

Gelding has 53 HP.

Fido isn’t an option because Rock. Frogger’s a tank, but a squishy one. Palm won’t be able to dish out much damage. Batman’s Bug escapes Fighting being super effective, but. Batman’s greatest strength is damage, and she can’t do that against this team.

...Frankly, I’m shocked Gelding could survive Stone Edge. There’s no way that works against Sawk. But against Sawk, there would be a chance of fainting it in one hit. Throh does less damage, but has more HP. I never had delusions of getting it down in one hit, but I thought I would at least be able to hit it.

This is going to be a switch thing.

Frogger has one point less in Defense than Palm, but 50 more HP. Frogger’s in. Ground typing keeps Stone Edge from doing too much. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure that Throh does the least damage of everything on Marshal’s team. That means that this is where I can take hits and heal, but it’s going to switch to Fighting moves, probably, and those will be worse for Frogger and--

I am going to heal Gelding.

Throh uses something called Storm Throw, and. That’s actually not a move I recognize. I have Frogger use Surf, because in the ludicrous imaginings where I survive this, I want to have Hydro Pump available.

...That’s a dumb reason actually, I have Ether and Elixir.

On the other hand, Surf hits. So.

That puts Throh in the orange, but Throh uses Payback. Oh! But that’s a Dark move! I don’t know why I thought it was Fighting for a second. Yeah, great, so Frogger’s still alive, and is going to get the faint.

Enter the Sawk problem.

Frogger’s at 79 HP. I need to heal him if I want to use him. I think Gelding can get Sawk down in one hit.

...I just remembered that Gelding has Fly.

Wow, okay, that changes things.

So I’m pretty sure Gelding will be faster than Sawk. If I’m wrong, Gelding is dead. If I keep Frogger in, there’s a good chance he can take a few punches, especially since he got Throh down to orange in one blow.

But Sawk does more damage than Throh.

If I’m wrong about Frogger being able to take the hits, I lose Frogger. If I’m wrong about the Speed, I lose Gelding, and then will possibly lose Frogger anyway. ...Then I worry that Stone Edge is one of those moves that can hit Flying opponents, but I don’t... think it is?

...I’ll switch in Gelding.

Gelding is faster, and Stone Edge doesn’t hit in the air. See? It’s all. Fine.

what do you mean Sawk has Sturdy.

um

um

um

oh hey Gelding’s still alive with 37 HP.

Marshal will probably use a Full Restore, which will create the same problem of Sturdy (I... think? I have kind of a dim thought of that being a once-per-fight ability, but that might just be my distant hopes of a fair and just world talking, and I do not trust that). Two Air Slashes in a row is probably my safest move for all involved parties.

Wait, no, scratch that. Gelding has Extrasensory. That does not have Air Slash’s 95 accuracy. So that’s one definite hit, then Fly or another Extrasensory depending on the damage.

Full Restore happens. Extrasensory gets Sawk down to orange, so we’re going to do another of those and hope Sawk doesn’t have a priority move! Which I hadn’t considered until this moment!

I could play it safe and switch to something, but. Really, exposing more of my team to this is not safe.

Oh hey, Marshal went with another Full Restore. By all means man, use them up.

Gelding takes the Sawk down.

And now we have a new problem.

My guess is that everything on this team has Stone Edge. That is a guess born of how everything so far has Stone Edge, as well as the too-late reminder that Stone Edge is really popular for Fighting types to pick up.

Conkeldurr is up next.

In a perfect world, Gelding Flys and it’s all over.

Gelding has 37 HP left, and Conkeldurr is a bit of a beast. All it takes is a sliver of health, and Gelding is gone.

The problem is. Like I said, exposing more of my team to this is not safe. I could switch in Batman and heal up Frogger and Gelding while she takes a few hits, then switch over to Frogger and hope things go like they did with Throh, but. It is not beyond thinking that the two pokemon Marshal has left could just destroy my team at will.

Then there’s the last one. I think. There’s a halfway decent chance it’s faster than Gelding.

-breathes in-

So Extrasensory does 80. 2x that’s 160. Fly does 90, 135 with STAB, then the 2x super effective bonus. That is a lot of damage. 160 got Sawk down to orange, but Sawk’s more of a glass cannon type. Conkeldurr’s. a cannon.

Fido can’t be used to switch in. It’d survive a hit, most likely, but not a crit. Palm could maybe survive a crit, but if I heal, I want to heal Gelding and Frogger. Batman could probably take the hits, but then there’s the problem of what happens to the thing that gets switched in. That lost move could be life or death. By which I mean death.

...I’m going all in on Gelding being a powerhouse.

Level 48 Conkeldurr.

I love how there isn’t a Cry option.

Gelding’s faster, uses Fly, and.

.

Okay so.

It doesn’t hit.

Because Fly.

But Conkeldurr knows Retaliate.

I hate this game. ;-;

....

-buries head in hands-

...M-miss?

-screams a lot forever-

Palm, you have Mach Punch and Marshal’s used two Full Restores. So. That should work?

Level 50 Mienshao. I switch to Batman to heal Frogger, and also possibly to stay, I don’t even know.

...Jump Kick did nearly 70 damage, guess what Batman, you’re switching out!

It does 88 damage to Frogger. Neat. So I’ll just be using Hyper Potions and waiting for Frogger’s Poison Touch to take effect sometime this century. That is my strategy.

.........

I. do not want to talk about how this happened.

Let me tell you how it happened.

I was going through to click yet another Hyper Potion. Because autopilot. Only I did not click the Item menu. I clicked the Fight menu. Still on autopilot, I watch, in horror, as I pick Mud Shot.

Mienshao’s Jump Kick misses and takes half its health.

Mud Shot’s good enough to take the rest.

I’m learning a few things here.

The fact that I’m an idiot is nothing new.

The fact that I routinely underestimate Frogger is my only prayer of surviving what’s next.

Because in case the scoreboard’s somehow been overlooked:

I am in so much trouble.

I don’t even know who I’m fighting next. N? Alder? Ghetsis?

Zekrom?

But you know what I think I remember?

I’m pretty sure that your team gets healed after you face Zekrom. Without you having a say in the matter. That’s... awkward? At best? Ptera and Gelding are not built for doing nothing and dying. I realize they’re both dead, but they did a lot of killing beforehand.

I think I will stick with screaming.

And switching Frogger to the front.

Other things to do: Putting a damn damage boosting item on everyone left instead of trying to pump the Elite Four dry of resources like money and exp.

...Only it turns out I don’t really have many of those kinds of items. Frogger gets Soft Sand, Palm gets Miracle Seed, Fido gets a Shell Bell, and Batman can keep the Lucky Egg.

I don’t foresee this going well.

Team.

Please, please prove me wrong.

I have criminally neglected complimenting aspects of the Elite Four because my head is busy screaming. The dramatics of this many stairs is one such thing that deserve praise. There are others. I might remember them one day.

There are so many stairs, guys.

You know, I’ve realized that if the N and Ghetsis thing is happening now, maybe I don’t have to fight Alder?

That’s a good thing, right?

-grabs popcorn-

Why is this a thing.

“This is Team Plasma’s castle” HOW DOES THAT EXPLAIN ANY OF IT. IS THIS EXPLAINED? I DON’T THINK THE PLOT REALLY CARES BUT I NEED SOMETHING TO FOCUS ON AND THIS IS IT RIGHT NOW. N WHY CAN YOU SPAWN A CASTLE BY ASKING THE SKY FOR IT.

So... Am I maybe going to get a chance to grind before the next big fight?

Dare I hope?

BUT WHY IS THIS HERE.

IT’S TEAM GYM LEADER. KNEEL BEFORE THEIR MIGHT.

Looking at the sets of pairs, I realize that Burgh and Lenora; and Clay and Elesa (please let that be her name) are both established friendship duos between Gym Leaders. It is cool.

Also Bianca asked them to come.

Thank you, friend.

The plot isn’t going to let me leave, is it. This is all just one big stall to make the pain hit that much harder. Geez. Won’t this game think of the people who have self-imposed rules that make everything complicated?

HEY.

Talking to the weird ladies who know N’s tragic backstory healed my pokemon, so now I am walking around with two zombies I need to get rid of kind of right now.

...No disrespect, guys.

...Seriously, where is this PC the Ninja mentioned.

There we go.

A moment of silence for the fallen.

Gelding, I never voice my appreciation of you during these posts, but you always came in handy. Your wonderful Attack stats and diverse movepool was a pleasure to have aboard. When I first caught you, I thought I’d change you out for the next thing I caught. But then I got attached.

You got your comrades this far. I don’t know how long that will last, but thanks.

Ptera... hell, I never really thought you’d go down. You were always this overpowered rockstar. From the second we met. ...You destroyed one of my team prospects. You were always reliable. If I ever wanted to turn my brain off and just expect victory, you were who I put in front.

I really don’t think I can do this without you guys, and I never wanted to.

Goodbye.

Sooo. Access to my PC lets me do away with the problem of zombies. It does not solve the greater problem of the huge trouble I am in. Nothing in my box is a high enough level to assist.

Zekrom is coming up, and I’ll have the option of having him on my team, and he is the first pokemon in this area I’ll have the option of catching.

But the spirit of this run is that everything on my team is randomized. That’s why I ditched my fossil. That’s why I ditched my chimp option.

It’s these four.

I have no idea what happens if I lose and get sent back to a save point inside the castle. Do I just have to keep throwing my box at it until I have no eligible pokemon left and have to declare the Nuzlocke a failure?

.

This section should have been finished a while ago, since I’m apparently wordy when stressed and there are now a lot of words, but I have kept going because. Well.

I think I know what happens next and I do not like it.

...Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

YES.

I CAN GRIND.

[imwastingmylifeinhere]

My Einherji Academia Ch1

Summary: Magnus, despite all odds, manages to get into UA, a top-tier school for heroes. It's his first step towards his dream, and along with homework and hero training comes someone he hadn't expected to meet yet - his soulmate.

I'm back from the dead! At first, I wanted to write a soulmate au and then I kept thinking about what the gang's quirks would be in HeroAca (because that show owns my ass now) and this thing was born. Honestly, it's extremely self-indulgent and my side project through the last couple of months. This could honestly become a monster like the obligatory Hogwarts au but I'm not that masochistic, so have this short thing instead. I hope you enjoy it! (If you haven't watched HeroAca: the majority of the world's population has superpowers called 'quirks' and being a hero is an actual paying job. UA is considered the top hero school since it has produced the majority of the world's best heroes. That's what you'll need to know for this. I really recommend you watch the show, just because it has ruined my life and I want you to suffer with me.)

Magnus stood in awe in front of the school gates.

He was here. He made it. From this day onward, he would be a student at UA, the school with the best hero course in the country. A shiver runs through his spine at the thought. It was so surreal to stand in front of the tall, ‘H' shaped building and think that this is where he'd come to for school every day from now on.

His acceptance letter had come some time ago, the video disk that would tell him whether he made it or not inside the envelope. It had been so light when he picked it up and yet it had felt so heavy in his hands.

He hadn’t realized that his fingers had brushed against his soulmark until he felt a wave of reassurance spread through him from his palm, accompanied by the familiar warm feeling he got whenever his soulmate sent him their emotions through their bond. He had smiled down at his hand and sent back gratitude through the iridescent sun-like flower that sat at the fleshy bit underneath his right thumb, the stem following the path of his veins.  They were only able to communicate with emotions through their soulmark, no words, but most school acceptance letters came that day, so they must have had guessed that's what had gotten him anxious.

He’d watched the video projected on his wall with bated breath, waiting for the words he dreaded to hear. You did not get in. But those words had never come, and what he heard instead was, Congratulations, Magnus Chase, you have been accepted into UA!

He’d screamed so loudly his landlady had come to see what all the fuss was about, but the frown had quickly fallen from her face when Magnus had told her the good news. The old lady had always had a soft spot for him, it was the reason she rented him the small apartment with a discount, and she had ruffled his head as if he was her own grandson.

Once she had left, Magnus had let his fingers touch his soulmark and allowed the ecstasy he was feeling to travel to his soulmate. The response had been instant; happiness, pride, and love had washed over him and Magnus had been hit once more with the profound desire to hug his soulmate tight.

Now Magnus walked to the front gates of the school, his soulmark still buzzing with the wave of positivity that had come through it that morning, the closest thing to good luck they could communicate through their bond. He smiled at the deja vu feeling it gave him. He had been standing here, that same feeling coursing through his palm to his entire body on the day of the entrance exams. 

///

Okay, you can do this. This will be fine. You got this, Magus tried to reassure himself as he walked towards UA’s entrance. You can’t do this. It won’t be fine. You don’t have this, his brain yelled back at him.

What was he thinking? He wants to be a Hero, sure, but he has a goddamn healing quirk, how is he supposed to get into UA with that? This school is responsible for making some of the greatest Heroes that have ever existed, it’s the best Hero Academy in the country, hell, the whole world, and only 2% of those who take the entrance exams actually manage to get in! How is he supposed to make it?

He must have accidentally brushed against his soulmark, or maybe his soulmate knew him well enough to realize he must be nervous, because a wave of reassurance and positivity rolled over him. It’s okay, it seemed to say. You’ll do great.

Magnus tried to hold onto that feeling. Even if he didn’t get in, he had to try. It’s alright to fail, his mother used to say when she was still alive, but not because you were too scared to try.

I may fail but it doesn’t mean that I won’t try. Magnus took a deep breath through his nose. I’ll try.

As Magnus walked to the main entrance, he runs through possible ways the practical portion of the exam might go and how he could deal with them, since combat wasn't his specialty by a long shot. He brushed his fingers against his soulmark, sending back gratitude and as much positivity as he could master, though he knew his anxiousness slipped through too.

Magnus was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed the person in front of him that he walked into. They yelped when Magnus hit their back and he stumbled, falling on his butt. Some of the other students slowed their pace to look at what was happening and Magnus felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

"Are you alright?" The person he ran into asked. The girl in front of him had skin the color of bronze and bright brown eyes that looked at Magnus with worry and guilt, like she was somehow responsible for Magnus not paying attention to where he was going. A green headscarf wrapped around her head, hiding her hair from view, and a bag was slung over her shoulder.

“Ah, yeah, I’m fine,” Magnus said as he pushed himself up. “I’m sorry I run into you. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“It’s alright,” the girl said. “I was spaced out too. I’m so nervous about the exam. Oh, I’m Samirah, by the way.”

“I’m Magnus. Are you here for the hero course?”

Samirah smiled, her eyes glimmering, and as a fellow nerd, Magnus recognized the tone of voice one used when they were very passionate about something but didn’t want to scare others off. “Yes! I can manipulate air.” She spun her fingers around, creating a small ball of condensed air in her palm. Magnus looked on in awe, suddenly very self-conscious of his own quirk. “What about you?”

"I want to get in the hero course too," Magnus said flustered, a habit left behind from years of being told his quirk isn't suited for a cool hero. "I, um, I'm a healer."

“Oh, that’s great! You’d make a great rescue hero!”  They climbed up the front steps of the school building, kids their age everywhere around them, and Magnus realized once more that all these kids, all of them with their own lives, were here to pursue the exact same dream.

Magnus fidgeted uncomfortably with the hem of his hoodie. “Thank you. I should, uh, get going. I need to find my seat. Good luck!”

Samirah waved at him. “You too!”

Magnus found the auditorium quite easily, what with the huge sign over the door and the dozens of students rushing in. Inside, the room was absolutely huge, by far the biggest room Magnus had ever been in. Desks made a loose circle around a central stage, each row of desk higher up than the last, like an ancient Greek theater. He found his seat somewhere in the middle of the room and sat down, observing all the students who walked inside. Some of their quirks were easy to figure out just by looking at them, like a boy with large wings and an invisible girl. Others had weird features, like horns or muzzles or tails. His eyes landed on a kid a few rows in front of him with a mop of bright green hair that was black at the roots.

Magnus chuckled to himself. He found it very amusing to imagine how a person from the age before quirks would react to their society today and just how different humans could look.

Once the hall was filled out, the tests were passed around. Magnus may have sacrificed precious hours of sleep to study but it was worth it. The written exam was over before he even realized it and he handed his papers to the school employ who came by to collect them.

Chattering and whispering spread through the room as the tests were collected and the students didn't have to stay quiet anymore. Magnus noticed an alarmingly big amount of students just lying on their desks like they'd rather die after this than have to go through the practical exam too.

Next to him, a boy with dark skin tapped his fingers on the desk, looking much more optimistic than the majority of teens in the room. Magnus couldn’t help but noticed the tapered shape of his fingers, a thin line running around them near the edge like a lid. He must have been staring for some time because the boy looked up at him and Magnus quickly averted his gaze.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” he blurted out. The boy didn’t seem to share Magnus’s embarrassment.

“No, it’s okay,” he chuckled. “I can fire projectiles from my fingers, in case you were wondering.” The lid at the edge of his fingers popped up, revealing the hollow inside.

“Oh, that’s amazing!” Magnus all but yelled, his quirk nerd coming out. “Does your body produce bullets or do you have to load them?”

“Both, though I need time to create new bullets if I run out. It’s kind of like reloading.”

Magnus’s mind was running a mile a minute with all sorts of different uses of this quirk, but his stupid mouth decided to voice the most ridiculous one. “Your quirk is literally finger guns.”

Magnus flushed when he realized what he said, but the boy chuckled. “Yeah, it is.”

“I’ve already made all the jokes,” a voice said from behind them. A boy – more like a man, because no fifteen-year-old had any right to be this tall and muscular – was leaning over the desk behind them, his wild mane of hair flying in every direction. "I'm Halfborn, by the way. Gun guy is T.J and this explosive lady is Mallory." The redheaded girl next to Halfborn waved. Something about the way she looked at Magnus made him think she was thinking of the best possible way to kill him.

“What’s your quirk?” Mallory asked. She had freckles everywhere and her hair was just as wild as Halfborn’s.

“Um, I’m a healer. My name is Magnus.”

“Oh, that’s a useful quirk,” the huge boy said. “I can make my body as hard as rock. It’s why my mum named me Halfborn. I looked like I was half born and half carved out of rock.”

“I can make explosions, if his horrible puns didn’t give it away,” Mallory said, jabbing Halfborn in the side with her elbow (which must have hurt if his skin was rock hard).

They kept talking among themselves until a large man with a long cape walked onto the stage. Magnus recognized him as the Thunder Hero, Thor, a popular hero with the quirk of creating and controlling thunderbolts. With his loud boisterous voice, he explained to the students how for their practical exam they would be separated into groups and fight against robots, each one worth a different amount of points they could win if they destroyed it. Their performance during those battles would determine whether they passed or not.

As the other students warmed up in front of the gates of testing ground Beta, Magnus was… freaking out, to say the least. He knew the practical exam would have something to do with fighting, he expected it, but it still came as a blow to him. Would he be able to destroy some robots with a quirk like his? Maybe he could lay out some traps? Would it count as destroying if he made a robot trip and smack face first into the ground?

Magnus was so lost in his worries he didn't notice the person stretching next to him. The green haired kid from the auditorium was studying him from the corner of their two-colored eyes, watching as this scrawny blond boy almost had an aneurysm from his nerves.

With a sigh, the green haired student stood up and walked closer to Magnus. “Calm down, alright? You’re not doing yourself any favors worrying like that. Plus, I can feel your anxiousness from here and it’s distracting.”

Magnus flushed and looked away. “Ah, sorry. I’m just… nervous.” Yes, obviously you’re nervous, that’s why they spoke t you in the first place.

“I noticed,” the kid smirked. “Look, we don’t know what this testing ground is like. Maybe it will help you use your quirk better. Maybe it won’t. There’s no reason to kill yourself with worry over something you can’t control. Just deal with it when the time comes.”

Magnus couldn’t really argue with that logic. “Thanks, uh…”

The kid switched their weight to their left leg, their hip jutting out and their arms crossed over their chest. Their tracksuit was pink with green stripes running down the sides and coupled with the glint in their eyes it made them  look like a man-eating plant about to attack.“Alex. She/her at the moment.”

“I, um, I’m Magnus. He/him always.”

Alex smirked and Magnus felt like the previous man-eating flower metaphor was really accurate. “Well, guess I’ll see you later if you pass the exam, Magnus.”

Alex walked away, waving a glove-covered hand at him, and before Magnus had time to think about the exchange that just took place, Thor’s booming voice came out of the speakers, telling the students to take their places because the exam was about to start.

Welp, here it goes, Magnus though as he got his place next to the other teenagers. His heart was beating so loud he could hear it in his ears as Thor counts down to the start of the practical exams.

“Three!”

Okay, deep breath. Don’t panic.

“Two!”

Just stay calm and figure out the best possible plan. You got this.

“One! Go!”

Students rushed past him, activating their quirks so they could cover more ground. One guy ran super fast, the gusts of wind he created blowing Magnus’s hair back; another one climbed on top of the nearest building and Magnus saw a fucking cheetah pass by him (he had the weird feeling the feline was smirking at him). Everywhere he looked people were using their powers – scanning the area for enemies from the roofs of buildings, running through the streets at impossible speeds, using the environment around them to use their quirk to move faster. They were hardly inside the faux city for three minutes when Magnus heard the deafening bang of one of the robots going down.

It’s like a jungle, Magnus though, eyes wide with fear and awe. This is what they mean when they talk about survival of the fittest!

Magnus took off frantically. He needed to take down some of the robots and fast. Ideally the ones worth more points would be better but he couldn't afford to be picky now. He runs by people fighting, the remains of a robot littering the street as a boy with giant fists crushed another one close by. The sight made Magnus panic. How was he supposed to destroy a robot with a healing quirk?

He stumbled as his feet hit a piece of scrap metal and he fell down, someone else crashing into him. He didn't get to see who it was because they were gone immediately with an angry, "Watch where you're going, loser!" Magnus blurted out apologies to no one; he was so out of his depth and it made him feel weak and tiny. (And compared to some of the kids here, he was.) He got up, glancing back down for a moment before grabbing the piece of metal from the ground. Maybe he could use it as a weapon.

Yet even armed with his makeshift sword, he had to find an enemy to fight and with so many people looking for the same thing and his low mobility, that was almost impossible. His heart had rejoiced when he had seen the bright ‘2' on a lone robot, but it had been swiftly destroyed by Samirah's air spear, the rays of sun filtering through the condensed air making it look like it was made out of light. The next robot had been destroyed by a boy the size of a two-floor bus, the one after that by a girl with water for hair and the one after that by a girl with horse legs.

He ran and he ran and he ran down the street, turning down alleys and taking sharp turns, but each and every time a robot was before him, someone else took it down before he could even lift up his scrap-metal sword.

I’m never going to make it!

Fueled by animalistic panic, Magnus kept running blindly. He had to find a robot, he had to find a robot, one, just one!

“Watch out!” Someone yelled and Magnus had enough time to see the dismembered arm of one of the robots flying straight at him. Surprise had frozen him in place, the arm flying closer and before he knew it-

The arm hit the street, cracking the cement and creating a small crater at the place Magnus was standing at just seconds ago. Dazed and confused, he looked up to see a large lion holding him by the collar of his shirt. The lion put him down on the sidewalk, away from the commotion, then started to change, fur giving place to pink and mismatched eyes staying the same as the lion changed to Alex.

“Watch where you’re going or you’ll get crushed, Maggie,” she said before switching into a cheetah and zipping away, leaving Magnus to star at her as he tried to wrap his mind around what just happened in those few short seconds.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. No time for that now! I need to pass the exam!

He took off running, taking a left at a crossroad and stopped dead in his tracks before he managed to run into the back of one of the robots. It’s large, clunky arms were swinging at whoever was fighting it, and as it bent forward to attack at the dodging student, Magnus caught the glint wiring between the armored plates of its head and body.

Would it break if I cut those? He didn't mull it over for long, gripping his metal chunk tightly and jumping on the robot as soon as it bent to attack again. The sharp point of the metal wedged between the two parts of the robot as it moved around to try and throw him off. He wrapped his legs around its back and moved the metal sharply from side to side, damaging and cutting the wires with the metal's rugged edge. He must have hit something important because the robot went stiff suddenly before collapsing in a heap on the ground.

“I had that!” The student that had been fighting the robot yelled, but Magnus was running again towards the nearest robot to attack it from behind again. Maybe he could get enough points to pass like this if he was quick enough!

He was moving off the remains of his second robot, having collected four points thus far, when a scared voice yelled, “Run!” Shrieks and screams followed it as students rushed past Magnus in terror. Magnus understood why when he looked up and felt his blood run cold in his veins.

A robot, bigger than the buildings around them, was moving through the testing ground, destroying everything in its path. A large, blood red zero gleamed on its side and Magnus remembered Thor’s instructions.

“The robots’ points are written on their bodies. One is worth one point, two is worth two, and so forth. If a robot has a zero on it it’s worth no points and you shouldn’t bother fighting it.”

I can see why! The robot was absolutely huge, there was no way a single person could take it down unless they had a death wish and an insanely powerful quirk. Magnus was about to start running away like the rest of the students when he heard a panicked string of curses.

"Fucking hell! Come on, move! Shit!" Alex was lying on the street, blood seeping into her tracksuit from a wound in her side as she tried to push the ruble that was keeping her legs trapped. But the ruble was too big, too heavy, and the robot was drawing nearer, turning everything it ran over to dust.

Magnus didn’t know what happened, didn’t realize what he was doing or why, but his body was moving on its own, running opposite the fleeing students towards Alex.

“What are you doing?” someone yelled at him. “Run!”

I don’t know, I don’t know what I’m doing! Magnus dropped to his knees next to Alex and started pushing against the ruble, the slab of concrete inching higher and higher under their combined strength.

“What are you doing? You’re going to get crushed!” Alex yelled at him.

“So are you!” He yelled back as the piece of debris fell of Alex, revealing the broken mess that was her legs.

“Shit,” they muttered together, and with half a glance at the approaching robot, Magnus pressed his palms against Alex’s bruised flesh through a rip in her pants near the knee.

Come on, you can do it. Just heal her. He closed his eyes, tried to calm his head, and simply concentrate on the feeling of flesh and blood and bones underneath his fingertips, the hum of Alex's body under his hands as he willed the bones back in place, cracks mending and tissue reconnecting.

But not fast enough, not nearly fast enough. Alex was groaning at the pain of her bones being healed and the robot was coming nearer and nearer, the sounds of robot remains being crushed under its weight deafening.

It needs to stop, it needs to stop, it needs to STOP!

Magus was screaming and for a moment the world was still, burning as a fire seemed to spark inside him and spread outwards, consuming everything in its path and turning it to ashes. There was the sound of metal flying through the air and crashing into buildings as students screamed in fear, confusion, and surprise.

The last thing Magnus could remember was Alex’s staggered expression before everything turned black.

///

Later, Magnus had woken up in one of the beds in the infirmary, head clouded as Eir, the Healing Hero and nurse of UA stood over him. She had run some tests on him to make sure everything was working like it was supposed to and Magnus asked her what had happened as she was writing something down on her clipboard.

“You overexerted your quirk and passed out from the strain,” she said. “The other examinees said you screamed and suddenly they were made to drop their weapons as they flew out of their hands. They said that the Zero robot stopped dead in its tracks like it had broken down.”

Magnus had blinked up at her, even more confused than before. “But how? I have a healing quirk, I couldn’t possibly do something like that!”

Eir’s eyes took in Magnus for a moment, calculating as if she was thinking of how to stitch up his wound. “What does it feel like when you heal something? What do you imagine?”

“What? It… feels like someone’s body is coming together underneath my fingers. I just imagine everything going back to their place and they do.”

Eir nodded. “Exactly. You don’t have a healing quirk, but a body manipulation one. I am correct to assume one of your parents was a healer?”

Magnus nodded, still dumbfounded. “My mother.”

Eir didn’t seem surprised. “That must have been why you had an innate leaning towards healing, it was the genes from your mother’s quirk at play. Your father most likely had some type of manipulation quirk, and the two combined and resulted in yours.”

Magnus was speechless, obviously. He had lived his whole life believing one thing and suddenly it was proven wrong. “But then what about the flying weapons? They’re inanimate objects!”

“Yes, however the majority of those affected were in part made of metal, which is a component of the human body. Your quirk went high-wire because of stress and resulted in what happened. I doubt you would be able to do something like that again unless you were trained or had your life on the line.”

Magnus had nodded, quiet, and Eir told him that he could leave whenever he felt well enough to go home since his body was rested. Magnus had made some affirmative sound but said nothing more, lost in thought as he tried to make sense of this new information. If he could manipulate bodies, could he make someone faint or fall unconscious or even…die? Could he manipulate other chemical components of the human body besides metal? And if so, how much of it? Would it be easier for him to do that if the components were inside a body?

The possibilities were so many and he was equally confused and excited. Realizing he was going to stay here thinking all day unless he was made to leave, he swung his legs off the bed and started pulling on his shoes. He was about to leave when he stopped and let his fingers trace the flower on his palm. Pain tended to travel through a soulmate bond whether they intended it or not and Magnus didn't want his soulmate to worry too much about him.

Relief quickly washed over him, as well as an angry, scolding feeling that seemed to yell to Magnus that if he pulled whatever he just pulled again his soulmate would kill him for it. Over the years they knew each other through delicate touches and shared emotions, Magnus had come to the realization that whoever his soulmate was, they could totally kick his ass. (Which wasn’t that hard to do in the first place, but still.)

Magnus took his backpack from where it was waiting for him by the foot of the bed and after a quick goodbye to Eir, he left UA.

///

Magnus found classroom 1A fairly easily and after marveling at the humongous size of the doorway – it was large enough to fit a giant though it, which made sense since some students might have a quirk that made them larger than the average human – he walked inside. Some students had already arrived, dressed in the gray blazers, red ties and dark green bottoms of the UA school uniform. Magnus didn’t stand awkwardly by the door for long because T.J saw him from where he was talking to Halfborn and Mallory and waved him over.

“You got in!” T.J cheered as soon as Magnus came close, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I’m glad to see you here!”

“Me too,” Magnus chuckled, kind of nervously. “I didn’t expect to get in.”

“Well, you’re in,” Halfborn said. “And you know what that means? You’re stuck with us for the next three years!”

“Good luck,” Mallory told him cynically, but Magnus couldn’t help but smile. They were exchanging stories from their respective practical exams when Magnus noticed a green covered head walk through the door.

“Samirah!” Magnus called out. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m great, thanks. I’m glad you’re feeling alright, what you did at the end of the practical exam was insane.”

“What did he do?” T.J asked curiously and before Magnus could respond, Alex was here, answering the question for him.

“He came back to help me even though that meant he was almost crushed by a robot and then he screamed so loud people’s weapons got scared and flew out of their hands.” Alex crossed her arms over her chest, the sleeves of her uniform rolled up to her elbows, exposing her toned arms and Magnus may have stared for a moment too long. “I can’t decide whether that was brave or extremely stupid. Probably the second.”

They talked for some more time until a short black man wearing an impeccably fashionable suit walked into the classroom.

“Sit down, everyone. My name is Blitzen, also known by the hero name Creator and I will be your homeroom teacher.”

[crystalelemental]

I have gone on record as disliking Gen 6 overall, with XY being my least favorite games until USUM showed up and ruined a perfectly good story.  While most complaints against XY are due to the story being meh, and the ally characters being obnoxious, some of that dislike is in the dex.  There were very few new Pokemon, and a ton of returning Pokemon, which skews things.  Prior to this, most regions had repetition of older Pokemon, but there were enough new Pokemon around that the region felt distinct and unique.  Here, it...kinda doesn't, to me.  It really feels like there need to be more new Pokemon for it to feel entirely distinct.  Which is a shame, because overall it's a really solid dex.

TOP 15: 15) Carbink - Before Diancie, this was a really interesting Pokemon to me. A Rock/Fairy type that had obscene defenses, and had a carbuncle-like appearance?  I'm on board.  Unfortunately, it really doesn't have many tools to help it stand out at all, especially when Diancie arrived and out-performed it in virtually every task.  But it's still a precious child that I adore.

14) Espurr - Espurr is a lot cooler than its evolutions.  While the female form looks pretty nice, the male form isn't my favorite.  The evolutions also have the problem of, once again, the male gets the tools to be good while the female form is not.  Espurr itself, though, is an oddball that I adore. It's an unusual design, but plenty cute in its own right.  I just wish its evolution offered a bit more.

13) Spritzee - This was a Pokemon whose first appearance had me excited.  I really wanted to run a Spritzee, and I couldn't wait to catch one.  A little plague-doctor bird?  That's the coolest!  Unfortunately, its evolution sort of changed the focus to being heavily about perfume and fashion-based.  Aromatisse doesn't stand out to me nearly as much as Spritzee does, and it's kind of a shame.

12) Gogoat line - A lot of this has to do with my Nuzlock run of Y, where Gogoat was a sort of MVP.  For a mono-Grass, having Ground coverage is divine, and it brings a lot of that.  In-game, its stats are also pretty well-rounded, allowing for a lot of damage and recovery via Horn Leech, but also allows it to tank hits really well and retain an acceptable speed tier.  Gogoat is a ton of fun, and I kinda wish it had more tools for competitive play.

11) Dragalge - What an interesting design choice.  A dragon that's made to look like seaweed, hidden within the ocean.  I really love the idea behind that.   Dragon/Poison is also very unique, allowing it to be one of the few Dragons that not only resists Fairy, but hits it back for super-effective damage.  It's a Pokemon that shines in concept of design, and I appreciate that kind of uniqueness.

10) Heliolisk line - Helioptile was a certainty to me when I first played these games.  I knew full well I'd be running one, there was no question.  While Heliolisk is a bit more fierce than its adorable pre-evolution, it still presents as a sleek design that got a surprisingly wide amount of coverage, including Surf of all things.   It's also the weather master, benefiting from Sun, Rain, or Sandstorm depending on what condition you want to abuse.  It's a great Pokemon that I love to run.

9) Aurorus line - Beautiful.  This evolution line is absolutely beautiful, and I adore the aesthetic they offer.  They're a surprisingly downplayed fossil Pokemon as well.  While most tend to be a bit more intimidating, Aurorus is fairly passive-looking.  Its typing leaves a lot to be desired, as do its stats, but its design and presence more than make up for its lack of competitive viability.

8) Trevenant line - Trevenant, while not nearly as cool as Gourgeist, is still a very interesting Pokemon.  Phantump are the spirits of children who were lost in the woods, and Trevenant are the evolved forms that try to snatch children away when they wander in.  It's an interesting cycle of spirits.  Grass/Ghost is also a fun typing we hadn't seen before, and the moves it has access to allow for a fantastic support combo of Will-o-Wisp and Leech Seed.  It even gets Horn Leech and Harvest for even further healing potential.  Trevenant is a fantastic Pokemon that's a ton of fun to use.

7) Sylveon - Another eevee evolution, this time as the new Fairy type.  Sylveon is fun not just because of the usual eevee evolution reasons, but because of its bizarre ribbon feelers.  It's adorable and lovely, but like many fairies we'd get to know, has a bit of a creepy factor to it as well.  If there's anything it did wrong, it's steal everything that Umbreon did, barring Foul Play.  Which...I dunno, is Foul Play even still useful anymore?

6) Vivillon - Much like Staraptor in Gen 4, Vivillon is the best of the regional early-game bugs.  Its design is gorgeous, including a mechanic where its wings will take on an appearance based on location, and its stats, while still terrible, aren't bad for what it is.  Quiver Dance with Compoundeyes and Hurricane allow it to actually deal some real damage, and in-game, having access to Draining Kiss is very valuable, especially early game.  It's a fun Pokemon, and it's nice to have one entry to the early-game bug brigade that's standing out.

5) Florges - What a wonderful creature.  Florges is literally only held back by its lack of any good ability at all.  If it had any decent ability, and mild utility beyond the awful abilities it currently has, it would be unstoppable.   Its speed tier is in a good place for a supportive wall, special defense is so massive you don't even need to really invest in it, and special attack is in a good place for a Fairy that has such good natural coverage with STAB alone.  Plus it's just an elegant and beautiful Pokemon.  Fused with the flower it carried, its body effectively is the stalk of the flower, with a gathering of flowers around its neck.  I love its design, and I love its battle role, and if only they would give it a good ability it would truly be unstoppable.

4) Goodra line - I've talked before about how a lot of Dragon evolution lines are intense and intimidating.  Well, Goodra was something more like Flygon.  A little goofy, sure, but a good friend who is still powerful and a Dragon.  This also kinda began a trend, where a lot of dragons now are designed to be goofy, or at least losing the huge imposing figure or regal look that most before it had.  I, for one, love this adjustment into goofy nonsense being called a dragon.  Please continue to do this forever.

3) Delphox line - I love them all, but Braixen is a clear-cut winner.  I know this probably means I'm a furry, but it's the cutest thing, and the sass it exudes in this form is legendary.  Fennekin itself is just an adorable little fox, and Delphox is what Ninetales should've been: a Fire/Psychic fox.   It even gets to effectively be a witch!  The only downside is that Delphox loses a lot of personality when it evolves from Braixen, going from a sassy fox creature to a more downplayed and serious one.  This change is the only thing holding it back from being at the top.  But on the whole, it's an excellent evolutionary line.

2) Diancie - When its base form was revealed, I already loved it.  A mutation of Carbink that's pink and adorable?  What's not to love?  Then we got wind of stats.  Effectively the same as Carbink, but with way higher offensive presence. Maybe it could have more of a use in Trick room now!  But then, against all odds, we get the unprecedented: a mega evolution.  It suddenly becomes ridiculously fast and strong, and more gorgeous than ever.  Diancie is beautiful and wonderful and I adore everything about this wonderful creature.  It's even got a unique physical rock move that has a real accuracy stat, and a secondary effect that's to die for.  I love how, at the outset, Diancie was set to be the worst of the three mythic legends of gen 6, only to end up with a mega that ranked it easily the best.

1) Gourgeist - What an awesome Pokemon, in every regard.  Beautiful shiny, fantastic design, and a chilling concept.  It wraps prey in its hair arms and sings to them as it drains their life force.  That's terrifying and incredible.  It's also got four forms, including a really small baby child and a giant form as tall as a person.  Each form also has different stat allocations, with bigger forms gaining defense and attack but losing speed.  If there is any singular flaw, it's that it would really love to be specially offensive and make use of Giga Drain, Shadow Ball, and Flamethrower instead of relying on Seed Bomb and Phantom Force as the only real options it has.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Volcanion - I disliked it because it was so optimized, and had bar-none the best unique attack of the three mythical legends.  "Steve, it's the only who who didn't get an extra form and is ranked UU by usage, hasn't it suffered enough?" No.  It has not.

9) Dedenne - I'm generally not that big a fan of the regional rodents, and Dedenne is unfortunately a low-ranked one.  I can't explain it, I just don't really care for it.  Nothing about it stands out all that much aside from its Fairy typing, but after a while, a generation has to do more than rely on adding its newly introduced typing to things already in a formula to feel unique.

8) Pyroar - Something about it just doesn't grab me.  I can't even explain what it is, I just don't really care for the look of it.  Fire/Normal, while interesting, is far from good.  And it's another cat-based Pokemon that just does terribly in competitive. 

7) Hoopa-Unbound - Hoopa is cute.  I like it a lot, and Ghost/Psychic, while odd, is a fun typing that's pretty solid offensively.   Hoopa-Unbound, though... Psychic/Dark, while also good, doesn't feel as great, considering it has no resistances at all.  The change in design does work for it, in that you definitely get the feeling that Hoopa's true form is a monster of a genie that's been sealed away, but the loss of cuteness in favor of what I'm pretty sure is a JoJo Stand isn't as interesting to me.

6) Pangoro line - It's not bad, but it's just...definitely not my aesthetic, you know? I don't care for the punk-type.

5) Doublade - You remember Golbat?  How I disliked it strongly because it made no sense as the middle stage between two interesting end-points?   Same thing here.  From one sword, to two swords, to a sword and shield. How?  How did you do this?  That doesn't make any sense at all.  Get back here and make your full evolution line make sense!

4) Malamar - You'd think Dark/Psychic would be cool.  You'd also think Contrary Superpower would be cool.  Instead, Malamar is basically just a disappointment, with no resistances to anything at all, and no real presence.  Its design is sufficiently interesting, as a borderline eldritch horror, but doesn't quite pass into the territory where it's really creepy.  It's just...middle-of-the-road, in everything it does. 

3) Barbaracle - Its design does nothing for me, and its concept even less.  I really don't understand why it looks like that, and as another Water/Rock type, it faces a lot of competition from things that are more effective than it, and stronger than it.

2) Diggersby - Listen.  I know I've relied on disliking aesthetics to rank things in the bottom 10 for several other lists.  But you need to understand.  This is, quite possibly, the worst design I can think of.   ...second worst.  It's so bad.  It looks so, so bad.  Everything about this is bad.  Why did they make it like this? Between Diggersby being a drunken construction worker or some kind, and Lopunny being a pin-up bunny, I'm starting to wonder if there will ever be just a normal bunny Pokemon.  Maybe that's why I was so excited for the fake fire-starter rabbit...

1) Greninja - I have never felt such unfettered anger about one of the starters getting preferential treatment before.  Let's be honest, every gen does it. Charizard is the favorite of Gen 1, Feraligatr the favorite of gen 2, etc.  But it never hit as hard as it did this time, and if you ask me.  Maybe because nothing has ever been so blatant, or occurred at a time in which a started I loved more than any other was shafted.  Delphox has gotten nothing in its entire life, Chesnaught got a few nice tools but had to work hard for the position it has in life, and Greninja was handed optimized stats, a busted hidden ability that could easily be nerfed in a way that does nothing to Kecleon but stops Greninja from being stupid, and a ridiculous special snowflake extra ability that lets it be even more super fast and strong, and also we changed its priority multi-hit move, a statement which is already obscene, into a special move so it gets to benefit from its main offensive stat instead of having to choose its tools like the rest of the working class.  Fuck this bougie frog asshole, you've never earned anything in your entire damned life. I'm glad Alan won.

[illbefinealonereads]

Blog tour day! I offer you info and an excerpt from Where Dreams Descend by Janella Angeles.

Early Praise: "Janella Angeles steals the 2020 show with her fiercely imagined debut starring larger than life characters, a dangerous world alive with magic, and a dizzying dose of grab-a-fainting-couch-and-swoon-away romance!" - Roshani Chokshi, New York Times bestselling author of The Gilded Wolves "Where Dreams Descend is a glamorous dark gem of a tale, sparkling with romance, magic, and intrigue. Readers will be captivated by prima donna Kallia as the mystery is slowly unmasked. Bravissima!" - Julie C. Dao, author of Forest of a Thousand Lanterns “Lavish and opulent in a way that feels warmly familiar yet demands your attention. There are secrets upon secrets, a girl who’s boldly ambitious, and truly riveting stage magic. I didn’t want the show to stop.” - Emily A. Duncan, New York Times bestselling author of Wicked Saints "Vibrant imagery, jaw-dropping set pieces, sizzling romantic tension, and unstoppable heroine Kallia bring this ambitious debut novel to spectacular life. Fans of Caraval and The Night Circus will be delighted!" - Claire Legrand, New York Times bestselling author of Furyborn   "[A] spellbinding melody of a book, and the true magic is how Angeles puts all the best parts of an enrapturing theatrical performance onto paper and ink. From the gripping twists in the first pages all the way to the final, heartbreaking crescendo, Where Dreams Descend will surge you to your feet in a standing ovation.” – Sara Raasch, New York Times bestselling author of the Snow Like Ashes trilogy

In a city covered in ice and ruin, a group of magicians face off in a daring game of magical feats to find the next headliner of the Conquering Circus, only to find themselves under the threat of an unseen danger striking behind the scenes.

As each act becomes more and more risky and the number of missing magicians piles up, three are forced to reckon with their secrets before the darkness comes for them next.

The Star: Kallia, a powerful showgirl out to prove she’s the best no matter the cost

The Master: Jack, the enigmatic keeper of the club, and more than one lie told

The Magician: Demarco, the brooding judge with a dark past he can no longer hide

Where Dreams Descend is the startling and romantic first book in Janella Angeles’ debut Kingdom of Cards fantasy duology where magic is both celebrated and feared, and no heart is left unscathed.

Buy Link: https://read.macmillan.com/lp/where-dreams-descend/

JANELLA ANGELES is a Filipino-American author who got her start in writing through consuming glorious amounts of fanfiction at a young age—which eventually led to penning a few of her own, and later on, creating original stories from her imagination. A lifelong lover of books, she's lucky enough to be working in the business of publishing them on top of writing them. She currently resides in Massachusetts, where she's most likely to be found listening to musicals on repeat and daydreaming too much for her own good. Where Dreams Descend is her first book. 

Social Links:  Twitter: @Janella_Angeles // Instagram: @Janella_Angeles

Excerpt:

Never come to Hellfire House without wearing a mask.

It was one of the rare rules in a joint without any. The only rule the master of the club did not mind following. He blended in with the sea of suits and white masks that arrived every other night, switching appearances from crowd to crowd. A bartender one moment, a dealer at the card tables the next.

Only his face remained the same, half-masked and haunting. Like a prince who relished the bloody crown on his head, and the ghosts that came with it. A face almost hardened by beauty, though glints of youth ran deep beneath soft black eyes. It always shocked new guests, to see him. The master of the House was rumored to be a dragon of a man. A monster. A magician who had no mercy for fools.

Only those who dared slur the word boy in his face understood how true those rumors were.

To the rest, he played the devil on all shoulders, leading patrons to his bar and game tables, guiding them toward his enchanted smoke lounge to drown in curated memories. The warmth of first love, the heady rush of triumph, the immense joy of dreams come true. The master kept a selection of sensations, and one hit of the pipes delivered magic the people came crawling to his house to taste.

They had no idea the show that was in store for them.

The master of the House sipped his short glass of scarlet whiskey in peace, tapping along the wide black strip over his brass knuckles. He’d long since manipulated his attire, sitting casually at a card table and savoring the mayhem. Raucous cheers erupted from the next table as dice rolled out across the surface. Smiling Hellfire girls in black blazers and masks of lace denied patrons begging for a dance. Loudest of all, the dealer’s crisp shuffling of the black cards with teeth-white numbers before she doled out hands to players at the table.

“No, no more,” one moaned. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can, chap.” A young man in a white thorn-edged mask cheerfully pressed him back in his seat. “We can’t leave. Haven’t even finished your drink, yet.”

His drunken friend’s mouth puckered under another gulp. “Think it’s true, the drink? Magician’s Blood, the menu said.”

“Think you have power, now?” Thorn Mask laughed, leaning back to appraise the club. “Here, you take your magic where you can get it. You wear a mask. You flip a card, smoke a memory. Or you look up . . . at her.”

The master’s fingers tightened around his glass, just as the lights dimmed. Dancers cleared the floor under the hush of music, shifting from smooth, steady beats to a racing rhythm loud as thunderous applause.

Right on cue.

The band’s worth of instruments he’d charmed for the night started up a wild entry tune of drums, the thick trill of trumpets. Chatter ceased and backs straightened as a beam of light speared toward the ceiling. A panel slid open over the dance floor.

And the chandelier descended.

Strings of crystals dangled along tiered rims of rose gold, cutting sharply into a jewel-set swing where a masked showgirl sat. A throne of glittering jewels, casting luminous lace across the walls and the ground and the audience taking her in. Her brown skin glowed against her corset, red as her gem-studded mask. Arms stretched out, she crossed and extended her legs in smooth lines all the way down, until her heels touched the lacquered black dancefloor. With the hint of a smile, she rose from her throne and stalked forward, thrusting a hand up with a snap.

Darkness engulfed the room.

Hoots and hollers rang at the drop of the beat, before a glimmer of her form reappeared in the shadows. The room pulsed at her command, matching the spike of heartbeats the master sensed throughout the club.

The smirk on his lips matched the girl’s as she arched her back to the raw stretch of the melody. She thrived under the attention, like a wildflower under the sun. A star finding the night.

His star.

“I’ll be damned.” The drunk at the card table breathed in awe, as the girl’s palms began brightening with a molten glow. “Nothing like an academy girl.”

“Worth the trip, right?” His friend clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“I didn’t know they could be magicians like . . . this.”

The master smothered a dark scoff under a sip of whiskey. The girl showed off good tricks—improvised and bettered from his basic crowd-pleasers. Treating the ceiling like a sky and showering comets from it, casting an elaborate shadow show of dancing shades over the floor, shifting every candlelight in the room to different colors to the beat of the music.

But always the performer, she preferred to be front and center. Teasing her power just enough to make the audience want more of her magic, more of her.

He wet his lips as flames shot from her hands, arcing over her head and around her body. The fire’s melody bent to her every movement, and she gave everything to it. If she wasn’t careful, she’d overexert herself like she did most nights, never knowing when to stop. How to pull back.

Careful never was her strongest suit.

Sparks fell before her, sizzling on the ground. Unafraid, she sauntered down her stage of flames with slow swaying hips and a firelit smile.

“Magicians like this are best kept a secret,” Thorn Mask went on. “And besides, the work is far too scandalous for a lady. Only clubs will take them.”

“What a shame. Imagine going up against the likes of her at the competition.”

The master paused, drawing his gaze back to his glass.

“Not this again. That flyer was nothing but a joke.” Thorn Mask slapped the table with a groaning laugh. “A prank.”

The drunk sloppily patted around his coat, pulling from his breast pocket a dirty, scrunched ball of paper. “It’s real. They’re all over the academies, in Deque and New Crown and—”

“A prank,” repeated Thorn Mask, unfolding the flyer anyway. “It has to be. No one’s been to that city in ages, it would never open itself to such games.”

“That makes it all the more interesting, don’t you think?” As another roar of cheers erupted around them, the friend sipped his drink smugly. “Imagine if she entered, the city might implode.”

“Right. As if that would ever happen.” Thorn Mask leered. “Competition would eat a creature like her alive.”

“Because she’s . . . ?”

With an impish lift of his brow, the man in the thorny mask flicked the flyer off the table and returned to his forgotten spread of cards. “Let’s get on with the game, shall we?”

Before he could gesture at the dealer, the master suddenly appeared at their table, snatching the young man’s wrist in a biting grip. The man yelped as the force knocked over his drink, and sent a stream of hidden cards spilling out from his sleeves.

“What’s this?” The master bent toward the ground and picked up a couple, entirely too calm. “Cheating in my house?”

The man froze, recognition dawning at the brass knuckles alone. “Where did you—I-I mean,” he sputtered, patting frantically at his sleeve. “That’s impossible. Those aren’t mine, I swear.”

“Then where did they come from?”

Sweat dripped from his temple, his face paler than the white of his mask. “I emptied my pockets at the door. Honest.”

Honest. That was the best he could do? The master almost laughed.

“You want to know the price cheaters pay in my joint?” His question offered no mercy. Only deliverance, served on ice. “Memories.”

“No, please!” The man’s lip trembled. “I didn’t, I-I’ll do whatever you want!”

“This is what I want.” The master rose from the table with the jerk of his wrist. The cheat flew to the ground in a gasp as he gripped at the invisible chain-like weight around his neck. Sharp, staccato breaths followed the master as he dragged his prisoner toward the smoke dens.

The man screamed, but no one heard him. No one saw, no one cared. All eyes fell on the star of the show as she searched for a dance partner to join her. The drunken friend, noticing nothing amiss, raised his half-full glass of Magician’s Blood to his lips before waving his hand high like the others. The man thrashed harder, only to feel his cries smothered and deeper in his throat. His form, invisible at the sweep of the master’s hand.

With a disdainful glance, the master chuckled. “You’re only making this more difficult for yourself. One memory won’t kill you.”

At once, he paused. The lights blinked around them, the air grown still. Dim and hazy, as though locked in a dream.

He thought nothing of it until he caught the movements of the patrons—their arms raised and waving slowly, increment by increment. Their cheers dulled and stretched into low, gravelly roars, as if the sound were wading through heavier air. Against time itself.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

The sound of her voice slithered around him, stopping the master in his tracks. The man quieted. Sweat soaked his pale face, his chest heaving. The showgirl stood in their path, every stare in the room still locked on the spotlit floor where she’d been. As though she’d never left.

Impressive.

Her red corset glinted as she cocked her hip and pointed at the man on the floor. “I choose him.”

She could never let things be easy.

“Kallia,” he growled, warning.

She smiled. “Jack.”

“Pick another. He’s a cheater.”

Her lips pursed into a dubious line. “Then let me teach him a lesson. He’ll no doubt prefer it more.” She swung a leg over the man’s prone form so she stood directly above him. Invitation dripped from the crook of her fingers. “The music calls, darling. Let’s have ourselves a grand time.”

The man’s terror turned swiftly into awe, and he looked at her as if ready to kiss the ground she walked on. As soon as he took her beckoning hand, the room resumed its lively rhythm—a song snapped back in full swing. The cheers and hollers returned to their normal speed, exploding in delight as patrons found their lovely entertainer in their midst, her chosen dance partner in tow.

She bypassed the master, pressing a casual hand on his chest to move him. It lingered, he noticed. Unafraid, unlike most. Their gazes locked for a moment, their masked faces inches apart.

No one ever dared to get this close. To him, to her.

Only each other.

At the next round of cheers and whistles, she pushed him away, smug as a cat. Tugging the man close behind her, she sent fires onto the ground that illuminated her path and warded others from trying to follow them to the stage. Never once looking back at the master, even as he watched on after her.

His fist tightened, full of the cards from his earlier trick. They disappeared into mist, having served their purpose. Along with the flyer he managed to grab.

He didn’t even bother giving it a read. It died in the fire caged by his palm. Tendrils of smoke rose between his brass knuckles, and when he opened his fingers, nothing but ash fell to the ground.

[moonshroooms]

Guess what I feel like oversharing? It’s Smash Bros stuff

So first of all, the first smash game I ever played was Brawl. Fite me. I didn’t have friends when melee and previous were out. Also I’d never heard of them then. And that’s pretty much it.

 When I first played Brawl and had no idea who most anyone was, aside from like. Pikachu, Mario, Link and whatnot, I played as Pikachu, Ice Climbers, and Pit. Literally most of my ‘mains’ (back before I knew what that was), were people I’d never heard of.

 Brawl Pikachu was, surprisingly, not my annoying character. Pikachu was who I considered my powerhouse. I could Thunder people at the top of the stage like no tomorrow and man it was satisfying. Down smash was my panic button and always kept people off me. Also, I could never get quick attack right. Ever.

Ice Climbers were who I used to be annoying. And when we played Brawl my friend and I weren’t quite srs about anything so we always played with items. And the power you feel. When Nana and Popo both have the fans. And your just endlessly smacking your opponent across the stage. A+ 10/10 would recommend. Though it was still before any of us were any good at the game, I did hear about wobbling back in Brawl, and sadly would never be able to even try it, as I had not the controllers needed to use it. And with Smash 4 I never will! #ripiceclimbers #ialwayslovedyou #neverforgetti

Brawl Pit was. Okay honestly, I mostly played Pit for the Subspace Emissary (which I miss and like everyone else wanted in Smash 4). I’m guessing I got attached to him just because he’s one of the first characters I played following the story line. I didn’t play him much against friend. And after Brawl I’ve never picked him up again. I’m not entirely sure why.

Brawl Toon Link. I only didn’t mention him as a main because I only started playing him a little bit before I got Smash 4. I don’t even remember using his items all that much. Know what I miss? Killing people off the top with Up Special. Why’d they get rid of that. It’s Toon Link. Who he gonna intimidate you can’t weaken my man like that.

 Whoop whoop, now we go to Smash 4, which is bright and colorful and I love it. Also it was around this time me and my friends had a newcomer who was... A bajillion times better at the game than we were. And my title as Smash Queen was threatened. And our new friend was now Usurper Smash King. And me and my partner in crime were like. ‘Yo this can’t stand’. We had a pact. I was Smash Queen and he was Smash Prince. We were unstoppable in teams. But no longer. And so we made the transition. That Smash transition of being Filthy Casuals, to Being filthy Serious Casuals.

And that’s as far as it’s gonna go. Cause let’s be honest, I’m not flippin Nairo. And my God the time and effort you have to put in to memorizing everything about your character and learning the match-up and blah blah super inner workings. I’m only a little bit ‘bout that life. I only care about beating my friends into the dirt, not top-level strangers. So I watch competitive videos and tutorials sometimes, when I’m feeling competitive I practice Advanced Techniques™. I got Perfect Pivoting, though I haven’t really been able to apply it to anything but grabbing (and attempted side smashes, but I usually end up tilting instead >3<). Pikachu’s Up-B ledge canceling is more reliable for me than before, but I still mess up sometimes and have only been able to use it just to get back to the ground without lag. I also can’t do that crazy up-b-up-b-up-b-up-b-up-b-up-b nonsense others can do. Much respect for those psychos. Flippin dweebs. And for Toon Link I pretty much have A-Cancel Tossing (that’s what it’s called, right? I can’t remember), and that’s pretty much it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After me and my friend became Casually Serious and learned more about the game, not only did we come to realize that we had no idea what we were doing when we played Brawl, but we also realized our Smash Usurper had no idea what he was doing either! :D And Oooo the day that we beat him. The day we finally beat him. Both 1v1 and when we joined teams, was the greatest day of our lives. 

Fricken nerds. XD

But we got our titles back! And still we happily sit at the top as Smash Queen and Smash Prince. I like being a bit more serious about the game honestly. It’s fun because it’s less of just random chance and more about skill, and we have fun playing matches with items on and off. And with us evolving, the rest of our friends start to evolve too, and we get beat more often than we did playing Brawl and that’s A+. I like the competition, I hadn’t realized I could be competitive before Smash. It’s pretty fun. :3

 Anyways, onto my Smash 4 mains! :D

 I actually consider myself having 2 groups of mains. The People I Actually Main, and the People I Enjoy Playing and Kinda Know How They Work But Not Really.

 First up, the Characters I Actually Main

 Pikachu: I liked Pikachu before I was srs about the game and I like him just as much after. He’s quick, annoying, has ranged attacks, and is adorably evil. Have you seen his soulless possessed eyes when he gets the smash ball? Pure terror. I do miss killing off the top with Thunder. I feel like (99.9% sure they did, but don’t care enough to look up what the changes were), they changed the way that hits, as when I went from Brawl to 4 I was absolutely terrible hitting with the cloud. No longer could I tell people ‘yo don’t let me get under u you’ll regret it’ *thunder* ‘wat did I tell u I told u not to do it’. I’m still slightly terrifying with the Thunder, but my hit rate went from a solid 70% to like. 25%. Yes I absolutely calculated that I’m a mathematician. But in exchange I actually hit people with the Thunder from the bottom, when I get all explodey and have .3 seconds of super armor >:D I’m much more accurate with that and it is very much satisfying getting a kill with it. My favorite outfit is his Goggles, and then the Wizard Hat. A++

Toon Link: Toon Link, honestly, is bae. I used to like Pikachu better, but since I’ve learned more about Toon Link I like playing as him so much more. I don’t care much that he’s not high tier it’s just fun playing as him, which thankfully is the basis with everyone I play. Walling people out gives me life. And I’m good at reading my friends enough that it gets menacing, especially when I pull out a bomb. For whatever reason when I start usually I just use boomerang and arrows, and never start pulling bombs until I get into a bad situation. I’ve gotten better and sometimes I pull a bomb first thing (though throwing it first thing is another matter entirely). My favorite thing about Toon Link is that if someone actually manages to catch a bomb, it’s usually by accident, and they don’t use them as much as me so they throw it away. And if they do hit me with it, they squander it and can’t get a hit in afterwards. I’m not much scared of my bombs since I know where I’ll move when I’m hit with them. I can’t tell you how many times I hit myself with it and saving my butt cause ain’t nobody know what to do when I’m flying the other way. Also, bring back Toon Link’s Up-B kill. It’s not so easy anymore. I miss it. So much. At least forward air gives a satisfying thwack. I choose his outfit basically as whatever I happen to be feeling at the time, most often it’s Blue then Green Link. When I’m being dumb or getting annoyed about people trying to partner with me in a 4v4 (or when we partner up on purpose and I decide I’m going to betray you now but I’m not about to give that away on purpose), I become Dark Link, I Have No Friends.

Shulk: Funny thing is, I’ve never played Xenoblade Chronicles. I’ve watched a let’s play of most of it (anyone else like chuggaaconroy’s videos?), but I want to play it myself eventually so I’m holding off watching the end. I’m not particularly attached the game or characters, and honestly Shulk is way different from anyone else I play. Most everyone I’ve played are light, fast characters with some sort of projectile. Literally everyone else I play has a projectile. But I ended up really liking Shulk and the monado arts. With the different arts he has (particularly speed), it’s easy for me to get in even without a projectile. I love the counter, and how long it lasts, and that second counter you get for ‘predicting’ the attack. My only complaint is that every. Single. One. Of Shulk’s moves is slow like no tomorrow. I wish that when you put on speed it changed the frames in which some of his attacks come out, especially since you’re sacrificing so much for what’s basically just a movement boost. But regardless, I love playing as Shulk, and the monado is enough for me to feel like I don’t need to be right in my opponents face all the time. Also, being at 200% in shield is a scary thing, especially when people get desperate for attacks but oops, call me Raven cause I just got a Vision! I really should learn about Art Canceling (I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called), but eh. Ain’t got no time recently. My favorite outfits of his is either the white Paladin Shulk, the Red and Blue, or the Orange and Pink. Depends on my mood which one I choose.

 And that about does it for Characters That I Actually Main :D Three of them is pretty reasonable, right? Characters I Enjoy Playing and Kinda Know How They Work But Not Really is slightly less reasonable. A whopping four characters. That’s right. One more than my mains. Then again, that makes 7 characters in all. Not really that resonable anymore XD

 To start things off, first and definitely least is Bowser Jr: Bowser Jr. was how I learned having a character that’s not as likely to die at 70% is a beautiful thing. I started playing him when I first got Smash 4, and sorta dropped him along the way. Every once in a while I’ll play as him, but it’s usually when things are just for fun. I’m not so good at getting the hammer from his up-b to hit, but I can clownkart-to-down-air like nobody’s business obvs I am a master at strategical combat. My favorite move and the objectively best move in his arsenal? Down tilt. Pblblblbl. I like the classical Bowser Jr. skin, while my friend likes to play as Wendy.

Next up is Rosalina and Chico. Or Luma: I also played Rosalina back when I first started Smash 4. It was to fill the hole in my heart left behind by the Ice Climbers. It did its job, for a time. But Chico will never be Nana. </3 But Rosalina and Luma are still pretty fun! I got as far as understanding better how they work together, separate, Rosalina by herself and running away screaming. I learned Lunar Landing, which isn’t a very hard technique in and of itself anyways. My friend more often plays as them now, and my best counter to Rosalina is either Shulk or Rosalina XD Thankfully my Rosalina is still better than his so I have that >:D Rosalina, for me, is a character I consider really good at Not Dying. When we play Time battles I have a harder time winning with her, but put me in Stock and I am Queen of the Cosmos. My favorite outfits are her white and black ones. :3

Third is the one, the only, Mewtwoooooo: Mewtwo, oddly enough, I absolutely hated. When we first got the DLC for him I tried him out and agh. The floatiness, his slow attacks, his tendency to die at 70% if you stare at him too hard, down special is impossible to hit, and the fricking smash attacks are like 2 inches away from his face. I hated him. He was awful. And somehow I kept trying to pick him up anyways??? The odd thing is my friend usually likes the floaty characters, but refuses to pick out Mewtwo. Somehow, somewhere, at some point or another, I ended up playing as Mewtwo even though I wasn’t that good. I haven’t even bothered looking for many combos or techniques for him, but he’s fun to play. He’s a glass canon, and the better I get at him the more intimidating he is. I still haven’t been able to hit anyone with confusion. Ever. >_> But his floatiness and that long tail are pretty useful tools once you get the hang of it. And that forward air is killer man. I approve. And I’ve been able to hit with his side smashes a lot more! No luck with down smash yet though. VoV I play Mewtwo quite often, often enough that if I actually bothered learning more about him, I’d probably consider him a main I could switch in an out with Shulk. My favorite skin of his is the Edgelord dark version.

And last, but certainly not least, the character that I literally play just to be annoying is, not Duck Hunt, not Pacman or Pikachu or Bayonetta, but: Charizard! Or specifically my version, Purplezard. The best thing about Charizard is that he encompasses everything I hate. He’s slow. His attacks are slow. He can’t jump high. No projectiles (flamethrower is like. Half a projectile). But for whatever reason despite me being absolute garbage in comparison to playing my other characters, I often win with him. I literally just play as Charizard to be a monster. And he is an absolute Beast. My friend particularly hates if I ever switch to him because he knows full well that I’m not playing seriously, I’m being a big fat troll, I know very little about him as a character, and I win anyways. And if it wasn’t obvious from the name Purplezard, I like his purple skin. A+

 And that about does it for who I like playing in Smash! As a side note and completely unrelated to characters, for anyone who likes playing with items on, I have a tip for you:

Throw shit.

Flame rod? Throw it. Lightsaber? Throw it. Get the fricken Homerun Bat? Throw it. Throw everything. You have no idea how much it throws off people when you get the Homerun Bat and they expect you to go for the gold and you just chuck it at their face instead. And homerun bat does so much damage being thrown too. And by the time they realize it’s not in your hands and they have an opportunity to grab it, you’re probably already running at it and grab the item + hit them with a dash attack first. And who knows if your gonna start using the item like it’s supposed to be? The power is yours.

Also it’s hilarious

[taylorfennersbookishworld]

Hey Bookdragons! Today I'm part of Wednesday Books's Where Dreams Descend Blog Tour. Where Dreams Descend was one of my most anticipated releases of 2020 but more on that later. First, a little bit about the book...In a city covered in ice and ruin, a group of magicians face off in a daring game of magical feats to find the next headliner of the Conquering Circus, only to find themselves under the threat of an unseen danger striking behind the scenes. As each act becomes more and more risky and the number of missing magicians piles up, three are forced to reckon with their secrets before the darkness comes for them next. The Star: Kallia, a powerful showgirl out to prove she’s the best no matter the cost The Master: Jack, the enigmatic keeper of the club, and more than one lie told The Magician: Demarco, the brooding judge with a dark past he can no longer hide Where Dreams Descend is the startling and romantic first book in Janella Angeles’ debut Kingdom of Cards fantasy duology where magic is both celebrated and feared, and no heart is left unscathed.Buy Your CopyEarly Praise"Janella Angeles steals the 2020 show with her fiercely imagined debut starring larger than life characters, a dangerous world alive with magic, and a dizzying dose of grab-a-fainting-couch-and-swoon-away romance!" - Roshani Chokshi, New York Times bestselling author of The Gilded Wolves "Where Dreams Descend is a glamorous dark gem of a tale, sparkling with romance, magic, and intrigue. Readers will be captivated by prima donna Kallia as the mystery is slowly unmasked. Bravissima!" - Julie C. Dao, author of Forest of a Thousand Lanterns “Lavish and opulent in a way that feels warmly familiar yet demands your attention. There are secrets upon secrets, a girl who’s boldly ambitious, and truly riveting stage magic. I didn’t want the show to stop.” - Emily A. Duncan, New York Times bestselling author of Wicked Saints "Vibrant imagery, jaw-dropping set pieces, sizzling romantic tension, and unstoppable heroine Kallia bring this ambitious debut novel to spectacular life. Fans of Caraval and The Night Circus will be delighted!" - Claire Legrand, New York Times bestselling author of Furyborn  "[A] spellbinding melody of a book, and the true magic is how Angeles puts all the best parts of an enrapturing theatrical performance onto paper and ink. From the gripping twists in the first pages all the way to the final, heartbreaking crescendo, Where Dreams Descend will surge you to your feet in a standing ovation.” – Sara Raasch, New York Times bestselling author of the Snow Like Ashes trilogyEXCERPT:Never come to Hellfire House without wearing a mask. It was one of the rare rules in a joint without any. The only rule the master of the club did not mind following. He blended in with the sea of suits and white masks that arrived every other night, switching appearances from crowd to crowd. A bartender one moment, a dealer at the card tables the next. Only his face remained the same, half-masked and haunting. Like a prince who relished the bloody crown on his head, and the ghosts that came with it. A face almost hardened by beauty, though glints of youth ran deep beneath soft black eyes. It always shocked new guests, to see him. The master of the House was rumored to be a dragon of a man. A monster. A magician who had no mercy for fools. Only those who dared slur the word boy in his face understood how true those rumors were. To the rest, he played the devil on all shoulders, leading patrons to his bar and game tables, guiding them toward his enchanted smoke lounge to drown in curated memories. The warmth of first love, the heady rush of triumph, the immense joy of dreams come true. The master kept a selection of sensations, and one hit of the pipes delivered magic the people came crawling to his house to taste. They had no idea the show that was in store for them. The master of the House sipped his short glass of scarlet whiskey in peace, tapping along the wide black strip over his brass knuckles. He’d long since manipulated his attire, sitting casually at a card table and savoring the mayhem. Raucous cheers erupted from the next table as dice rolled out across the surface. Smiling Hellfire girls in black blazers and masks of lace denied patrons begging for a dance. Loudest of all, the dealer’s crisp shuffling of the black cards with teeth-white numbers before she doled out hands to players at the table. “No, no more,” one moaned. “I can’t.” “Sure you can, chap.” A young man in a white thorn-edged mask cheerfully pressed him back in his seat. “We can’t leave. Haven’t even finished your drink, yet.” His drunken friend’s mouth puckered under another gulp. “Think it’s true, the drink? Magician’s Blood, the menu said.” “Think you have power, now?” Thorn Mask laughed, leaning back to appraise the club. “Here, you take your magic where you can get it. You wear a mask. You flip a card, smoke a memory. Or you look up . . . at her.” The master’s fingers tightened around his glass, just as the lights dimmed. Dancers cleared the floor under the hush of music, shifting from smooth, steady beats to a racing rhythm loud as thunderous applause. Right on cue. The band’s worth of instruments he’d charmed for the night started up a wild entry tune of drums, the thick trill of trumpets. Chatter ceased and backs straightened as a beam of light speared toward the ceiling. A panel slid open over the dance floor. And the chandelier descended. Strings of crystals dangled along tiered rims of rose gold, cutting sharply into a jewel-set swing where a masked showgirl sat. A throne of glittering jewels, casting luminous lace across the walls and the ground and the audience taking her in. Her brown skin glowed against her corset, red as her gem-studded mask. Arms stretched out, she crossed and extended her legs in smooth lines all the way down, until her heels touched the lacquered black dancefloor. With the hint of a smile, she rose from her throne and stalked forward, thrusting a hand up with a snap. Darkness engulfed the room. Hoots and hollers rang at the drop of the beat, before a glimmer of her form reappeared in the shadows. The room pulsed at her command, matching the spike of heartbeats the master sensed throughout the club. The smirk on his lips matched the girl’s as she arched her back to the raw stretch of the melody. She thrived under the attention, like a wildflower under the sun. A star finding the night. His star. “I’ll be damned.” The drunk at the card table breathed in awe, as the girl’s palms began brightening with a molten glow. “Nothing like an academy girl.” “Worth the trip, right?” His friend clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t know they could be magicians like . . . this.” The master smothered a dark scoff under a sip of whiskey. The girl showed off good tricks—improvised and bettered from his basic crowd-pleasers. Treating the ceiling like a sky and showering comets from it, casting an elaborate shadow show of dancing shades over the floor, shifting every candlelight in the room to different colors to the beat of the music. But always the performer, she preferred to be front and center. Teasing her power just enough to make the audience want more of her magic, more of her. He wet his lips as flames shot from her hands, arcing over her head and around her body. The fire’s melody bent to her every movement, and she gave everything to it. If she wasn’t careful, she’d overexert herself like she did most nights, never knowing when to stop. How to pull back. Careful never was her strongest suit. Sparks fell before her, sizzling on the ground. Unafraid, she sauntered down her stage of flames with slow swaying hips and a firelit smile. “Magicians like this are best kept a secret,” Thorn Mask went on. “And besides, the work is far too scandalous for a lady. Only clubs will take them.” “What a shame. Imagine going up against the likes of her at the competition.” The master paused, drawing his gaze back to his glass. “Not this again. That flyer was nothing but a joke.” Thorn Mask slapped the table with a groaning laugh. “A prank.” The drunk sloppily patted around his coat, pulling from his breast pocket a dirty, scrunched ball of paper. “It’s real. They’re all over the academies, in Deque and New Crown and—” “A prank,” repeated Thorn Mask, unfolding the flyer anyway. “It has to be. No one’s been to that city in ages, it would never open itself to such games.” “That makes it all the more interesting, don’t you think?” As another roar of cheers erupted around them, the friend sipped his drink smugly. “Imagine if she entered, the city might implode.” “Right. As if that would ever happen.” Thorn Mask leered. “Competition would eat a creature like her alive.” “Because she’s . . . ?” With an impish lift of his brow, the man in the thorny mask flicked the flyer off the table and returned to his forgotten spread of cards. “Let’s get on with the game, shall we?” Before he could gesture at the dealer, the master suddenly appeared at their table, snatching the young man’s wrist in a biting grip. The man yelped as the force knocked over his drink, and sent a stream of hidden cards spilling out from his sleeves. “What’s this?” The master bent toward the ground and picked up a couple, entirely too calm. “Cheating in my house?” The man froze, recognition dawning at the brass knuckles alone. “Where did you—I-I mean,” he sputtered, patting frantically at his sleeve. “That’s impossible. Those aren’t mine, I swear.” “Then where did they come from?” Sweat dripped from his temple, his face paler than the white of his mask. “I emptied my pockets at the door. Honest.” Honest. That was the best he could do? The master almost laughed. “You want to know the price cheaters pay in my joint?” His question offered no mercy. Only deliverance, served on ice. “Memories.” “No, please!” The man’s lip trembled. “I didn’t, I-I’ll do whatever you want!” “This is what I want.” The master rose from the table with the jerk of his wrist. The cheat flew to the ground in a gasp as he gripped at the invisible chain-like weight around his neck. Sharp, staccato breaths followed the master as he dragged his prisoner toward the smoke dens. The man screamed, but no one heard him. No one saw, no one cared. All eyes fell on the star of the show as she searched for a dance partner to join her. The drunken friend, noticing nothing amiss, raised his half-full glass of Magician’s Blood to his lips before waving his hand high like the others. The man thrashed harder, only to feel his cries smothered and deeper in his throat. His form, invisible at the sweep of the master’s hand. With a disdainful glance, the master chuckled. “You’re only making this more difficult for yourself. One memory won’t kill you.” At once, he paused. The lights blinked around them, the air grown still. Dim and hazy, as though locked in a dream. He thought nothing of it until he caught the movements of the patrons—their arms raised and waving slowly, increment by increment. Their cheers dulled and stretched into low, gravelly roars, as if the sound were wading through heavier air. Against time itself. “Where do you think you’re going?” The sound of her voice slithered around him, stopping the master in his tracks. The man quieted. Sweat soaked his pale face, his chest heaving. The showgirl stood in their path, every stare in the room still locked on the spotlit floor where she’d been. As though she’d never left. Impressive. Her red corset glinted as she cocked her hip and pointed at the man on the floor. “I choose him.” She could never let things be easy. “Kallia,” he growled, warning. She smiled. “Jack.” “Pick another. He’s a cheater.” Her lips pursed into a dubious line. “Then let me teach him a lesson. He’ll no doubt prefer it more.” She swung a leg over the man’s prone form so she stood directly above him. Invitation dripped from the crook of her fingers. “The music calls, darling. Let’s have ourselves a grand time.” The man’s terror turned swiftly into awe, and he looked at her as if ready to kiss the ground she walked on. As soon as he took her beckoning hand, the room resumed its lively rhythm—a song snapped back in full swing. The cheers and hollers returned to their normal speed, exploding in delight as patrons found their lovely entertainer in their midst, her chosen dance partner in tow. She bypassed the master, pressing a casual hand on his chest to move him. It lingered, he noticed. Unafraid, unlike most. Their gazes locked for a moment, their masked faces inches apart. No one ever dared to get this close. To him, to her. Only each other. At the next round of cheers and whistles, she pushed him away, smug as a cat. Tugging the man close behind her, she sent fires onto the ground that illuminated her path and warded others from trying to follow them to the stage. Never once looking back at the master, even as he watched on after her. His fist tightened, full of the cards from his earlier trick. They disappeared into mist, having served their purpose. Along with the flyer he managed to grab. He didn’t even bother giving it a read. It died in the fire caged by his palm. Tendrils of smoke rose between his brass knuckles, and when he opened his fingers, nothing but ash fell to the ground.My Review:The thing I liked most about this book was the world-building. The atmosphere of Hellfire House intrigues the reader right away, unfolding in the mind and tempting you to explore further.That being said, this book dragged for me. I actually tried three times to get into it unsuccessfully over a period of months that I've had this book sitting on my shelf. As I mentioned above, this was one of my most anticipated releases of 2020 and the intro to the book did grab me but after that? I just couldn't keep my attention on the page. So I did what any frustrated reader would do - I read ahead. And it does pick up. At the end. It's like all the exciting stuff is jammed in at the last 1/3 of the book. When the description of this book was put on Goodreads calling it "Moulin Rouge meets Phantom of the Opera and The Night Circus" I was so ready for this book. But I didn't get that at all reading it other than maybe Kallia was supposed to be like Nicole Kidman's character in Moulin Rouge? I don't know, maybe I didn't give this book enough of a chance --- but I mean, three attempts? --- and maybe someone will enjoy it more than I did. I honestly think I've been reading too much fantasy and it could be burnout. Overall, it was okay in spots but not enough to encourage me to pick up the next book.My Rating:🌟🌟2 of 5 stars!About the Author:JANELLA ANGELES is a Filipino-American author who got her start in writing through consuming glorious amounts of fanfiction at a young age—which eventually led to penning a few of her own, and later on, creating original stories from her imagination. A lifelong lover of books, she's lucky enough to be working in the business of publishing them on top of writing them. She currently resides in Massachusetts, where she's most likely to be found listening to musicals on repeat and daydreaming too much for her own good. Where Dreams Descend is her first book.Twitter | Instagram

http://taylorfenner.blogspot.com/2020/08/blog-tour-where-dreams-descend-by.html

[inb4vaughn]

Golf, Food And Fun In Punta Mita Paradise

Not five minutes had passed since the shuttle dropped us off at the Puerto Vallarta airport after three and half days in Punta Mita paradise when my wife uttered the words I knew I’d hear eventually.

“When are we coming back?”

And she’s not even a golfer. I am, of course, and I second her emotion. Third it, even. We gotta get back here, and soon.

After years of somehow avoiding the Mexico mainland (or any other part of America’s southern neighbor) for a tropical visit, we hit the getaway jackpot by taking part in the eighth edition of the Punta Mita Gourmet & Golf Classic, a late fall foray into the best cuisine, hospitality and seaside swinging that Mexico’s Riviera Nayarit has to offer.

Tucked between the towering Sierra Madre mountains and Pacific Ocean, the stunning stretch of coastline starts just north of Puerto Vallarta and includes the Punta Mita peninsula itself which, from the air, looks like a deep green camel’s head drinking deeply of the heaving, azure sea. Title sponsor American Express, Punta Mita’s real estate developer Dine (pronounced deen-ay), the Riviera Nayarit Convention and Visitors Bureau and St. Regis and Four Seasons resorts welcome hundreds of sun-seeking customers, clients and other guests to a luxury-steeped swatch of water, beach, manicured jungle and coiffed fairways and greens that, I realized as we sipped Mexican beer and soaked up sunset rays slanting through stacks of purple clouds, is every bit the equal of Hawaii — without the five-hour flight from America’s West Coast.

Speaking of beer: Negra Modelo, Pacifico and a few local brews that most Yanks have never tasted, but should, were just one ingredient in the beverage binge we enjoyed during our all-too-brief stay. After checking in at the Four Seasons and settling into our “standard” garden view suite that was anything but, we grabbed a ride back to the breezeway-slash-lobby on one of the resort’s ubiquitous multi-seated golf carts.

“We’ve got a special shuttle waiting for you,” an attendant told us, pointing to a brand-new Tesla Model X for a quick jaunt to the St. Regis’s Sea Breeze restaurant, sprawling public courtyards and cabanas for the event’s welcoming cocktail bash sponsored by Aeromexico and Delta. After stepping into the sultry evening breeze we were immediately offered champagne, and moments later we found our way to one of several well-stocked bars where the mixologist whipped up a pale pink concoction.

“What is that?” I asked. “Paloma,” came the answer. I held up two fingers, appropriate because the refreshing drink is made with Patron blanco tequila, pink grapefruit juice, a dash of sugar and fresh lime juice — Margarita’s lower-calorie cousin. We were in; the drink became our go-to as each evening’s festivities played out.

Incredible food greets every player at the Punta Mita Gourmet & Golf Classic

And the food? What a way to begin: Several tended stations prepared fresh takes on “true” Mexican cuisine from the kitchens of three renowned chefs from both sides of the border — John Signorelli from the St. Regis Houston, Erik Guerrero from DOS restaurant in Veracruz and Alex Branch from Hakasana Group in Los Cabos. In the dizzying array of tastes and textures, our favorite was a succulent bit of grilled pork belly on a warm tortilla, topped with fresh salsa.

Over the Gourmet & Golf tournament’s two days of competition in the strong Mexican sun, beer took precedence for me and my Guadalajaran playing partners, Pedro and Pedro Pablo, as we encountered the dozen or so food and drink stations dotting both of Jack Nicklaus’s Pacifico (opened in 1999) and Bahia (2009) layouts, breaking up the suds with the occasional mini-margarita, glass of south-of-the-border wine, shot of exquisite regional tequila or, better yet, mezcal, which is smokier — an anejo-based take on single malt whisky. With such libations and all sorts of incredible edible morsels from top-shelf chefs — incredibly fresh ceviche, lightly grilled octopus, succulent veggie burritos, addictive street tacos al pastor — under my belt, concentrating on each shot was tough, especially on the dozen seaside holes between the two tracks, including Pacifico’s famous “Tail of the Whale” hole with its green cradled among rocks and surf on a natural island some 185 yards from the beach-side middle tee. We took turns giving that island our best shots, as did everyone who came through, though, since the tide had come in and the green wasn’t accessible by cart — we’d have needed stroke backstrokes or scuba gear to get there — it didn’t count on the official scorecard.

The Tail of the Whale on Punta Mita’s Pacifico Course.

Actually, our threesome wasn’t officially part of the formal tournament due to a clerical error, and that was a blessing. We could just have fun playing our own balls rather than grinding over every shot and sweating the final team scores, based on a best ball format one day and two-person handicapped scramble the other, as the other 200 or so golfers did. And I didn’t have to stress when I thought my snap-hooked tee shot on Bahia’s handsome, beachside par 4 17th was lost to the waves; I just reloaded, hooked one even further left (this time with an unmistakable splash) and moved on, only to discover that my first ball had ricocheted off a rock and back into play at the very edge of the fairway, leaving a simple wedge home.

AVOID GOLF’S BIGGEST ‘DEATH MOVES’ WITH PUNTA MITA DIRECTOR OF INSTRUCTION AND GOLF TIPS 25 TEACHER TOM STICKNEY

Ah, yes, the good life in Mexico, and it never waned.

Not when I showed up for each day’s outdoor pre-tournament breakfast feast on the expansive practice range, digging into truly fresh fruit (you just don’t see mangoes like this back home in Reno), made-to-order omelets, colorful Mexican pastries and fried chilaquiles.

Not when we teed off just as the sun breached the tree-line and spread broad, dewy shadows over gently rolling fairways, trickily tiered greens and broad waste bunkers, including a big palm-dotted expanse on Pacifico that ties several holes together. Not when our rounds tumbled down to the ocean in one heart-swelling view after another, or when Mexico’s greatest player ever, Lorena Ochoa, and 1982 Masters champion Craig Stadler — the event’s special guests — greeted us during our rounds.

A crackling fresh salad at Punta Mita’s Gourmet & Golf Classic

Not when I reunited with my wife for several incredible meals, including Chef Atzin Santos’ six-course dinner lineup of Mexican and Spanish delicacies on Friday — again the pastor porkbelly with fermented pineapple and macha sauce was a standout — and Saturday’s delicious and delicate vegan lunch authored by Chef Leslie Durso, both at Bahia, the Four Seasons’ open-air restaurant overseen by Richard Sandoval (I skipped the tournament’s epic awards lunch back at the range, which, I’m told, was off the charts).

Not when we kicked the party up a notch at the American Express Platinum House, otherwise known as Kupuri Beach Club at the St. Regis, sipping yet more signature cocktails and supping on mini-miracles of deep, cross-cultural flavors lovingly prepared by Chefs Antonio de Livier, Yasuo Asai, Abraham Salum, Sergio Chávez, Andrew Ormsby, Betty Vásquez, Alfredo Villanueva and Pato Pérsico.

Trophies are awarded to teams and individual men and women for closest to the pin, longest drive, etc.

In fact, through the weekend, every bite of tender seafood, farm-to-table vegetables and spices and locally sourced meats was a revelation of freshness, chipping away at my stubborn gringo preconceptions of what Mexican food is, and should be. We savored that celebratory closing dinner to the sound of the crashing surf, which in turn was the backdrop for a full stage erected on the beach. As the music began we sipped and swayed and laughed into the night, enjoying every starlit minute among our fellow revelers. It was the second day of December but felt like its own holiday.

But the glorious gluttony wasn’t over. Sunday morning brought a farewell brunch to the Sea Breeze — a traditional buffet inside, yet more delicacy-dealing food stations outside, the Pacific singing its timeless song a short par 4 away, and a warm realization that we’d just taken part in the kind of getaway that should be shared not only by golfers, but by their significant others. All the smiling charm and gentle spirit of the Mexican people, all the beauty of Riviera Nayarit, that state’s best golf without question, and the luxuries of its two finest resorts are brought to bear on one sweet little peninsula. And early next December will bring it alive for the ninth time.

Then again, we may not wait that long. We fell hard for this place, we know how to get there with relative ease, and we know the welcome extends to every month and every sun-seeking soul, whether nor not you’re packing clubs.

Únete a nosotros por el tiempo de tu vida, ¿verdad?

For information on next year’s Punta Mita Gourmet & Golf Classic, visit www.puntamitagourmetandgolf.com; for year-round resort reservations visit www.puntamita.com

  The post Golf, Food And Fun In Punta Mita Paradise appeared first on Golf Tips Magazine.

from Golf Tips Magazine http://bit.ly/2AD8tm1

[xavierdominico-blog]

My review of League of Legends

We initially reviewed League of Legends at 2009, when it initially introduced. It's changed significantly since that time, so much that we chose to review it .

What can it be?

She understands I am there. She just can not see me entering the shrubbery too --nullifying her array edge and letting me shut in with my Aquaman-esque trident. So rather, the Caitlyn participant requires a potshot to the field having a skill that hurts in a direct line; no targeting demanded.

It is sufficient to kill my diminished winner Fizz in 1 hit. Additionally, it is exactly what I have been awaiting. Fizz can pogo jump on his trident, which makes him immune to these led attacks, and jump forward in a destructive slam. I utilize the momentum to dodge Caitlyn's burst and shut the space she wished to keep. One lunging strike afterwards, the contested is dead in the dirt, and a soul of gold and experience points just prepares me farther for another battle.

Such tense one-on-one, do-or-die struggles happen in each League of Legends game, however the adrenaline in these minutes makes them memorable. League is a lens which amplifies every emotion about the spectrum.

Every game is like a whole multiplayer action-RPG condensed into 20-to-50 moments. Each player begins with only control of one unit and one particular ability. They are divided into two teams of five and let loose from each other within a top battlefield. Smiting enemy components in real time makes experience and gold, which grant access to stronger abilities and a selection of better equipment. The group that wins is the group that best leverages its components' specific strengths.

Your final aim is to destroy the opposing group's headquarters. The combating largely occurs across three streets leading to every"Nexus." Each path is safeguarded by AI sentinels and individual players distressed to warrant their own use of free time.

I really don't blame them. In addition, I need my in-game announcer to yell"success" and warrant the strain and valuable life span I invested demolishing virtual warriors and towers. I would like to feel like becoming flanked and murdered five occasions in the first half hour has been worthwhile to get your own last-minute push into enemy land that cinches the triumph --because I had the foresight to decide on a late-game winner made to return from behind. The psychological investment in these strategic gambles is increased by the period of the games, raising the high of success, while creating every minimal texture that much lesser . It is a recipe for both friends and perfect strangers to flip their frustration on every other, including a private layer to each perplexing loss.

League of Legends' pay-per-character business version pushes against mastering the sport and knowing how its winners play.

Every game you re-dedicate to playing an important role on a staff, such as support or tank, attempting to accrue experience, cash and rewarding player kills quicker than another group. Nevertheless, the actual investment in League of Legends goes far beyond this. You can find 140 playable characters and climbing. That is not even such as passives from mix-and-match runes, or charms which may be outfitted in front of a game begins.Between the absolute scale of factors at play, and League's well-documented toxicity (even the match's own programmers are not resistant to it), it is among the most daunting matches ever.

League does little to alleviate any of the strain. Allowing countless gamers to become civil is a demanding, probably Sisyphean endeavor, but easing players to League's sophistication needs to be more viable eight years following launch. This is the way you pick a winner. This is the way you buy them a wonderful pair of sneakers. This type of thing. Where it's flounders, or barely even attempts to help in any way, is in describing when and why you need to apply those principles to some given situation.

League of Legends' pay-per-character business version pushes contrary to mastering the sport and knowing how its winners play. It is going to take you a few decades of grinding, the greater part of a million bucks, or a mixture of both to unlock the entire roster indefinitely. There is a weekly rotation of free personalities, also, but not one of those choices compare to on-the-job instruction. When I get crushed by Ryze, for example, I could spit over his kit beyond the match, but nothing is a true stand-in for understanding the way he manages under my index finger.

This free-to-play version remains a significant impediment into LoL's availability --and of course its'innocence' as an esports occurrence --and a few strange UI options do not help, either. You can not analyze a winner's skills from the select display, as an example. Likewise, you can not peruse an opposing player's abilities mid-match.

But if you work beyond the competitive team conversation and devote an whole lobe of your mind to memorizing movement rate and cooldown timers, League's high highs return quite lots of lost ground. I have developed the patience to just start Brand's fiery, bouncing death-ball if it is certain to ricochet off each enemy winner.

At its finest, League of Legends is aggressive, high-energy mathematics. Maintaining your attack damage take, the staff tasked with pumping out constant damage in large staff struggles, in one of 3 lanes to soak up gold and experience points may only provide you the increased amount. Then again, possibly moving them about to land the profitable killing blow squishy, defenseless affirms is your thing to do.

At its finest, League of Legends is aggressive, high-energy mathematics.

Success is not only a prefabricated strategy coming together. The understanding that reside human beings are supporting the track, inventing their own approaches to prevent me, means that I have well and truly outplayed individuals of apparently similar ability.

And thanks to League's relatively speedy action--only marginally twitchier than Dota two's yawning chess games and a hair more than Heroes of the Storm's blatantly accessible skirmishes--there is an awareness of physical domination, also. Among the most powerful jelqing in Dota, as an instance, continues for a maximum of five minutes. A very similar ability at League of Legends shirts out at roughly two-thirds of this. When I am overly fussy to step from the manner of Ashe's knockout strike in League (each time), I am back to ditching magic missiles that far quicker. If I reside.

As games advancement, things purchased with hard-won gold create player-versus-player struggles more prevalent and ferocious. The Dark Cleaver, a key in-game thing for Illaoi, among my favourite winners, supplies a wonderful cushion of wellness and a few attack power. Maybe more incredibly, the chopper also slows down its wielder's skills significantly quicker. So do a number of different products.

The consequent shorter period between spell casting raises the speed of struggle without taking away the attention from specified character abilities. I understand Illaoi summons ghostly tentacles together with her passive capability. Things like the Dark Cleaver simply call the tendrils to my help faster, and allow Illaoi reach harder in between. They seldom ask me to recall over her fundamental spells.

So while getting into League takes a lot of memorization, mastering it's much more about finesse. Every player begins every game with limited tools. The wiggle room for outdoing competitions is largely found in response time and accuracy. Or you may be playing just and your competitors, but losing anyhow.

The solution is that it does not. It is simply not necessarily the same clique of favorite children month .

That altering assortment of S-tier selections, bans, and personality builds is known as the meta, and I have always known League's to become only slightly narrow. When a specified strategy functions, it has a tendency to work really well, and the top echelons of aggressive play cling to it for dear life.

In 2017, it had been the insufferable tank . Immortal abominations such as Dr. Mundo and Maokai spent this age whomping each other with the seriousness of a Nerf war whilst dragging out every game to double its normal span.

Twice monthly spots make small but significant changes to the mathematics behind the mayhem. Each such alteration nudges optimal champion options in 1 direction or another, but there is essentially never a totally level playing field.

There is always a possibility the numbers will tell you to decide on a specific tank or support which simply does not strike your fancy. That is a simple fact of life in almost any aggressive game. However, League's often slender circle of top-tier winners restricts those choices even further. And because you do not have access to each given champ in any particular time, you might be stuck using the lemons of this meta until grinding enough humorous cash to rejoin the contest.

That should not matter much in casual sport buffoonery. Teamwork and ability are the higher factors . There is an all-random winners manner for people who would rather have silly fun with charm slinging. But if I am currently dedicating myself into League's learning curve, then I need the guaranteed payoff of a correctly tactical brawl. Along with also the'principles' of this meta that begin at professional drama finally trickle down to my degree. It is absolute candy for each armchair analyst seeking to blame for their loss on anybody but themselves.

I have been advised to not play my favourite wizards for this very reason. I have been told my triumph did not count since I was being"cheap" I have seen new players leave games since a noxious teammate always blamed their inexperience to get a ruined turret. Nevermind that everyone started someplace. As frequently, it is another crack for this notorious rust to float in.

A certain type of variety Luckily, League of Legends includes a great range of fantastical weirdos to select from. Illaoi is my existing go-to: a brawny, squid-worshipping priestess that siphons enemy spirits with a large, iron skull.

Not all the character style is that trendy.

There is nothing inherently wrong with hot personalities, but League's devotion to girls with a slender and busty body kind feels on par with these pop-up advertisements for sexy Clash of all Clans clones. It is a disappointing position quo for winners that typically play with in interesting ways. The musically inclined Sona, for example, sports a superbly challenging mixture of service abilities that vary based on the sequence she uses .

Every smart shortcut involving lanes, or tap of the key that a nanosecond quicker than your competitor feels like a triumph.

It is that variety of drama which produces LoL so intriguing. Sure, maybe not every winner or spell functions in addition to others on paper. But there is a seemingly endless flow of these to attempt . Say Fizz had neglected me contrary to Caitlyn. Maybe I could teleport from the way as Ezreal, or halt the attack from happening by magnificent Caitlyn with New (Correction: a previous version of the review misstated among Jinx's skills ). League's strong roster is among the greatest strategic toyboxes readily available now. Odds are you will never cease being amazed by the amazing ways that your human foes utilize them to slide past and creep upon you. You will surprise yourself, also.

Maybe League of Legends is becoming only a little complacent in the decades since it established. The sexed-up costumes and obstacles to entry feel as the goods of a rather major game which has not had to increase its viewers in some moment. But breaking beyond those issues finally rewards new gamers with grand, amazing complexity. Every smart shortcut involving lanes, or tap of the key that a nanosecond quicker than your competitor feels like a triumph. League makes these minutes downright ordinary, but barely less special for this. And its always changing roster means there is another suggestion simply waiting to slip up your sleeve.

[nuzblog]

November 17th and 18th, 2017

Extra long update here, comin' in real hot!

After some research, I established my plan going forward. The first step of that plan is to retrieve Arctid, my Venonat from Route 15, from the PC, and start ascending Silph Co. Psychic coverage is going to be very useful, and since my Jynx Plan A is foiled, Venonat will have to do until I can get something better.

Of course, once I'm in Silph Co. it becomes clear that that's where I was supposed to go first - the trainers are nothing to my Pokemon. Which... confuses the heck out of me, given that Koga is definitely meant to be Gym 5. Like, do you want me to be in Fuschia City or not?

Of course, once Arctid hits a level where I'm like "okay maybe now I can actually use him to fight this thing he has the type advantage against", he dies up good. Siiigh. Well, at least it means I won't have a big hole of "unable to catch anything but still not technically FAILING a capture" on my big list of captures by location. I head back to Route 14, where I quickly replace Arctid with another Venonat, this one dubbed Sciari. Back to Silph Co. I go!

Heh. TM for Selfdestruct. Good joke, video game.

I made the smart decision to actually look up Blue's team before heading in to fight him and... yeah, he's a bit too tough. Grinding time!

Oh, while I'm out, I might as well fish on Route 19. Goldeen is a dupe, but Staryu sure ain't! Boy, if I hadn't already spent my one and only ever Psychic TM on Lola, Staryu would be SO useful. Or if it like... learned Psychic STAB moves. Seriously, what is with movesets this gen? Every single Pokemon is such trash. Sandslash literally doesn't even get any ground type moves outside of TM. It might as well have been straight up Normal.

Grinding literally takes the entire rest of the 17th. That and losing at Pokemon Cards, but hey, this isn't a "let's nuzlocke Pokemon TCG" blog, is it? (Also how would you even do that? Burn every card that dies in battle? Only buy one booster pack at any given store you visit? Lmao)

While grinding, Moschops tries to learn Focus Energy, which... is another hilarious joke. Both because it's at such a high level, and because it's supposed to quadruple the crit rate... but it actually QUARTERS it, making you almost never get a crit after using Focus Energy.

Sciari, on the other hand, learns Psybeam, which means I can finally stop mashing B every time it tries to level up, and turn it into the beautiful moth it was always meant to be.

Psybeam in hand, my first move when I started playing the next day was to fight my way through the Fighting Dojo. I actually did this so soon after waking up that, when claiming my Pokemon, my errant finger erroneously hit "start" instead of "select" when naming the Hitmonlee I claimed. Its name is "B", but uh. Please pretend that it's "Bruce." Not that I'm using it. I HAVE my Fighting type.

I then checked out Koga's gym trainers, since I was on such a roll, and, funny enough... literally only the one dude with a Level 38 Hypno was even close to a challengingly high level. Everything else was a piece of cake. Koga included.

Oh, except for that Level 42 Weezing. That's pretty nuts, right? Well, actually... Maybe not.

Gen 1's AI tech is so primitive that NPCs, even gym leaders, will make real boneheaded moves in the interest of type superiority. Famously, confronting Lance with a Poison type makes you nigh untouchable, since most of his Pokemon will use Agility since Psychic is super effective, without even checking to see if Agility does damage.

His Weezing knows 2 poison moves, Smokescreen... and Selfdestruct. All I need to beat him, besides Cingu and Sciari, is something that resists poison, and can either for sure tank a Selfdestruct OR... that I don't mind losing.

Remember vlad?

My team for Koga is Cingu, Sciari, Lanius (my highest leveled team member at the time) and Vlad. His other Pokemon are easy peasy.

And as expected, when he switches in Weezing, I switch in Vlad... and he blows himself up. That's Koga's gym badge! Which also mens I can Surf outside of battle! Whoo-hoo!

First destination (floating from Pallet on Bernie's tummy, repels on), for easy flying, is Cinnabar Island. Now, I've mentioned my mysterious plans here... I'll discuss those later. I have not yet put them into effect.

Instead, I think it's high time we take down Dingus. I box Bernie back up, and for once my actual team is the same number of Pokemon as his team.

The one concern I had was with Gyarados, but I got it sleeping and lemme tell ya... it never woke back up. B)

Now I have a Lapras! Her name is Nessie. Of course since nothing in this game can be easy, I get it at Level 15. Sooooo grinding time!

While grinding, I started clearing out trainers on the surfing routes, and grabbing Pokemon. Oh, but first... Penthes learned Razor Leaf! And you know what that means...

Leaf Stone!!! Finally, my lovely pitcher plant is all overgrown up! (Get it? Overgrown, like, plants do? Do you get it? Do you see the humor in my joke?)

Okay so. Route 20, I fished! Horsea appears! Aaaand I killed it accidentally, cause Sing and Surf start with the same letter. Been a while since that's happened, huh? Feels like old times.

Seafoam Islands! I didn't actually go through here yet, although I plan on doing so - my intent is to battle all of the legendaries I can, treating them as additional boss fights. Still though, I stepped inside to catch a dude! After 5 consecutive Staryus, I finally found a Seel. Staryu isn't even that common I thought? Ah well. Seel's name is Harp.

Route 21, where I could catch a Tangela if I really wanted but look I have Penthes, I need no more grassy boys! After fishing up yet another Staryu, I caught a Shellder! Its name is Okeefe.

Since I still have grinding to do, I stepped into the Pokemon Mansion, hoping not to be completely owned, and... It's okay actually! I caught a Grimer, named it Ooze. I fought my way through, and Nessie actually started doing most of the work way earlier than I'd thought. Surf owns bones. Ice Beam is pretty solid too. I finished the mansion, grabbing the Secret Key, and... set out for the unfinished business in Saffron.

First, Giovanni. Nessie, Cingu, Penthes and Moschops join me for this fight, and, quite frankly... he's a little bitch and I could have made short work of him before doing the Pokemansion.

Next is Sabrina. She and her gym trainers are a touch tougher, but I manage fine with Lanius, Cingu, Nessie and Penthes.

Also now Nessie is finally at around the same level as the rest of my team! Hooray!

Now, here I am. Plotting and planning. Blaine shouldn't be too hard at all. Giovanni is just as much of a puss as always. I have three more dungeons to tackle - the Power Plant, Seafoam Islands, and Victory Road. The resting places of the three Legendary Birds. But most importantly...

The Elite 4.

Now, I'm planning here still. I know what I want to do, but I'm interested in getting any feedback there could be. Especially since the ask box which I didn't realize was closed this whole time, is now open! (That's "Option" on the menu!)

The first point: An Electric type would be super effective against almost all of Lorelei's Pokemon, against both Lance and Dingus' Gyarados, and against Agatha's Golbat and Lance's Aerodactyl. That's really really good. The Power Plant has electric types. In fact, it has options: Voltorb and Electrode would be duplicates, but that still leaves random encounter chances for Magnemite/Magneton, and Pikachu. Now, obviously one of those is way way better to have than the other. But is that a chance I'm willing to take, when the other option is repelling my way through until Zapdos, and hoping to high heck I capture it (or chucking my Master Ball at it, maybe?) Zapdos does have legendary tier stats, but it also is part flying type, which removes its ground weakness... but makes it weak to Ice, meaning its usefulness against Lorelei will be limited to its ability to OUTSPEED Lorelei. Zapdos is fast, but is it fast enough to body an elite four member without getting hit?

The second point: I really really need Psychic STAB. I love my big mothy boy, but he's just not cutting it. Now, stop me if you've heard this one: Cinnabar Island's coast acts very strangely. Since it doesn't expect to have an encounter rate but it can be GIVEN an encounter rate, basically any Pokemon can show up there as long as it can show up somewhere else. The question is one of gambling. You see, I could play it safe and get a Drowzee by going to Route 11 where I've already caught Sandshrew and Spearow and flying to Cinnabar... or take a bit more of a risk with a higher payout stats-wise by using Route 24 and trying to catch an Abra? Not only is there the slimmest margin of possibility for it to flee an Ultra Ball, it might also not show up, since that route also has Caterpies and Metapods that I don't yet have. I suppose doing the more traditional Safari Zone glitch is also possible, to try for an Exeggcute, but A: that'd supplant (ha!) my boy Penthes, and B: even less of a guarantee, and jeezy kableezy do I NOT want a dang Nidoran as my booby prize. So, what should I do? Play it safe or get dangerous?

The third point: If I'm adding these guys to my team, then it's going to exceed 6, and someone's gonna get boxed. Nessie is INTEGRAL to the Elite 4 gameplan, and also just kinda rules overall. Lanius is my flyer... but if I get a Zapdos, that replacement feels like a no-brainer. Sciari is right out as soon as I've got an actual real Psychic type, so really it's just a matter of who's losing out to my Electric type. Cingu's Slash will be incredibly helpful, and Dig should double down on effectiveness for the Onixes, Agatha's poison types, Rhydon and Arcanine. Moschops will make Lorelei that much easier. That really seems to leave it to Lanius, who feels more expendable but will probably be most useful in the Elite 4 fight (especially vs. Venusaur) and is also my flyer... and Penthes, who I've become so emotionally attached to as the first Victreebel I've used and a fantastic assripper who came from such a humble start (especially losing Vine Whip, lmao), who has, in lieu of my lost Minos, become practically like my starter. Can I really afford to leave one of them behind? Should I nix someone else instead?

Please, leave your thoughts.